Feb 13, 2007 23:06
Hi! I know I don't post on here very much, but it's only because I don't usually have much to say except "I can't wait to move" and "I miss Washington" blah blah blah. So I suppose I should write what's going on with me.
I'm really digging the pink background for Livejournal's valentines theme. It's making me feel all fuzzy and warm inside. Hearts everywhere!
So I am officially moving back to Washington in mid-July, 5 months from now. I'm excited and terrified all at the same time. I've been looking forward to this for so long, but I'm afraid to do it alone, without my mom. My mom is such a huge part of my life, and to go and live somewhere without her, try to make memories on my own....I don't know why that's such a scary thought. It just is.
I'm moving in with Amykins and Sofie; hopefully +crossing fingers BIG TIME+ we'll move into a house, because if we don't I can't bring my Odie and I'm really worried about him. Everytime I go to Washington for the summer and leave Odie home, down here in Cali, I always come back to a wasted away dog. +sigh+
Work is okay. I feel different now, like the excitement of the job has finally gone away and it's just all routine. I put in for more hours and I'll see if I got them tomorrow morning, when I work--ALONE--in box office. +cries+
I want to apply to Borders Express, since a real Borders is too far away, but I can't do that until I get a car and I have no idea when I'm getting a car. Plus, I wouldn't apply for a new job until after I go to Sakura-con. I don't want to just start working at a new place and then be like, "Oh yeah, I can't work April 5-10, even though I started like, last week."
Things I have to look forward to are my brithday, of which I have no idea how I'm going to celebrate. I wanted to go to Six Flags Magic Mountain, but I just found out that they would be closed on my birthday. +sad face+ I'm thinking of going to the flea market at least. I requested that weekend off from work, so I need to do something.
I'm also looking forward to the My Chemical Romance concert on March 13th, which I'm going with Julia. She loves them and has gotten me to like them alot too, though I'm not as obsessive as her.
Lastly, there is Sakura-con to be excited for; I've never been before, so I'm not sure what to expect. I am dressing up as Shampoo from Ranma; Amy, Julia, Sofie and I are all dressing up as characters from Ranma. I haven't read or watched Ranma yet, but when Amy came to visit, she was laughing all the time about it, so it must be good.
I've been watching Hana-Kimi on youtube; there is a live-action of it, but it's Korean. It's an...interesting adaption, and all the characters have korean names so sometimes I get confused, but it can still be hilarious at times. I don't like how they changed a few things, like how Mizuki idealizes Sano; in this version she is fat, and looks up to Sano, so she decides to lose all the weight and has Sano to thank for that. I have a feeling the Korean public are all very focused on looks like America is, especially with being skinny. There are other little changes in how scenes happen, and all I can do is remember how good it was in the manga and be happy with that.
No guys in my life. I thought I might have liked one of my supervisors, but I realized that I just totally adore him in a friendly way, not romantically. I'm not attracted to him physically. +le sigh+ That's mostly why it's not romantic.
He gave me one of his books to read, and I keep having to push myself to read it. It's a double biography on Prez Kennedy and Prez Nixon, and their relationship. So far I've gotten to chapter two, and it's like pulling teeth to read more. I was initially interested in reading it, but now I want to read some fluff, or manga, or fantasy! Not historical biographies. :/
I really need to have a garage sale. I need the money; I've been saving 300 a month to move out and I almost have 600 saved up, but I'm afraid that saving only 300 a month to move isn't going to be enough. That'll only give me about 1800-1950 dollars by the time I have to move. I should save 350 a month, or maybe even 400 a month. +calculating+ If I save 350 a month, that would be about 2275 dollars, but if I save 400 a month, I'd have around 2600. I still don't think that's enough!
This is my main stress factor in life: how to save save save enough to move out?
I keep wanting to do something creative, but I haven't gotten around to it. And it's hard for me to be like, "BAM! Check out my new piece of art stemming from my overflowing creative spirit!!" I'll get in the mood, but when I get to the application, my mood disappears. I don't know what to do with these creatives urges. Grr, it's very frustrating.
I want to do a piece on Regi, but how do I capture my feelings on her? How do you convey feelings of loss and sadness and the realization that that person is never coming back into your life, ever? Do I even have the right supplies to make it? It's hard. +nods+
Oh! I was going through some of my stuff in the garage and I found my camp stuff from CIT year and intern year. I miss how it was. The person I was. How could people say I'm this warm person, someone they can just be around with, and how I have such a calming effect? I don't remember ever being this person. It baffles me, and I wan't to be that person, but I can't remember who that is. I feel like I've changed so much since moving away to California, and I'm not even sure if it was because I moved away or if it was inevitable, but what happened? Why don't I get excited anymore, why don't I cherish my friendship's like I used to, why don't I smile and hug the way I used to? I need to figure out how to be alive again.
Well, that's mostly what's been going on in my head lately.