(no subject)
Senior year has been amazing. I can't believe this is really it though. I've grown a lot, experienced a lot, and I can't say I've regretted anything I've done in the past 3 years living in this little bubble. I'm not ready for the real world, but I'm excited for what's to come. The future looks gloomy as of right now. But I'm confident that things will work out in the end.
This past summer was a little depressing. I had high hopes for someone I shouldn't have. I became emotionally invested into something that wasn't going to work out in the hopes that if I tried really hard, it would work. Well, taking that into account, I'm not letting my expectations ruin things anymore, if that makes sense. I guess I've already made a couple mistakes: The first one was a sophomore, who had a boyfriend, but she insisted that he knew she was bi and was okay with her exploring that. The second mistake I guess is an ongoing one. We've hooked up twice, and I imagine it'll be a repetitive drunk thing. She's straight, and I'm not saying she's not even though we're hooking up. I know what's going to happen. I know that I can't change who she is and make her want to be with me. But I'll enjoy it while it lasts, and hopefully I won't let myself get too vulnerable. The inevitable is that she'll either a) freak out on me and run to the nearest guy, or b) the nearest guy will come to her and she'll leave. I know I'm not what she wants; maybe if I was a guy things would be different.
I know the way I'm describing the situation makes it sound hopeless. And that's okay with me. I know she's confused; she's straight, but I guess I'm her exception? I mean, I am pretty cute. Ha. In all seriousness though, this thing between us is not going anywhere, even though I wish it could. The only difference is that I've accepted that and I am completely okay with it. She's a great girl, the whole package, everything I could ever want in another person. But she's not for me. She's going to make some lucky guy the happiest person in the world.
Anybody got any advice for a soon to be college graduate?
This past summer was a little depressing. I had high hopes for someone I shouldn't have. I became emotionally invested into something that wasn't going to work out in the hopes that if I tried really hard, it would work. Well, taking that into account, I'm not letting my expectations ruin things anymore, if that makes sense. I guess I've already made a couple mistakes: The first one was a sophomore, who had a boyfriend, but she insisted that he knew she was bi and was okay with her exploring that. The second mistake I guess is an ongoing one. We've hooked up twice, and I imagine it'll be a repetitive drunk thing. She's straight, and I'm not saying she's not even though we're hooking up. I know what's going to happen. I know that I can't change who she is and make her want to be with me. But I'll enjoy it while it lasts, and hopefully I won't let myself get too vulnerable. The inevitable is that she'll either a) freak out on me and run to the nearest guy, or b) the nearest guy will come to her and she'll leave. I know I'm not what she wants; maybe if I was a guy things would be different.
I know the way I'm describing the situation makes it sound hopeless. And that's okay with me. I know she's confused; she's straight, but I guess I'm her exception? I mean, I am pretty cute. Ha. In all seriousness though, this thing between us is not going anywhere, even though I wish it could. The only difference is that I've accepted that and I am completely okay with it. She's a great girl, the whole package, everything I could ever want in another person. But she's not for me. She's going to make some lucky guy the happiest person in the world.
Anybody got any advice for a soon to be college graduate?