the realization that happiness is in my hands....
I have come to figure out (slowly, I'll admit), that I have been keeping a lot of unnecessary anger and frustration inside of me. Until tonight, I thought (at least I felt) that the world was against me. I don't know why I felt like that, only that I did, and all the happiness I thought I was feeling, up until recently, was a lie. I wasn't really happy at all....After some serious rethinking of my life, my situation, I can honestly say now, that I AM happy....happy with Jesse, happy with my apartment, happy with my friends, happy with my job (even though I don't make enough money!!), and I have nothing to complain about. It feels great to say that, and I know that there usually is no real life altering thought like that, but I believe that for some strange reason, I had one. I don't know why now all of a sudden, but I think that maybe it's just my time...my time to be happy, my time to truly live my life the way I want, without drama, and stress and frustration and anger. I dont' need those feelings in my life.....they were unnecessary burdens. I feel like a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I know happiness may only be a fleeting emotion, but I'm glad I can say that I am experiencing true happiness in my everyday life, and I am not prepared to give it up yet.
Emily~thanks for showing me that you do have feelings, even if you hide them from everyone including me.....you ever need anything, don't hesistate to call.
Lisa~thanks for being by my side, even when most weren't.....you are my rock to lean on, and I'm glad to help you whenever I can...just let me know...
Hesser Gals~thanks for putting up with all my bullshit....I was a very angry person, and most of the time I think I took it out on you...and I'm sorry for that..
Jen~Thank you for listening to me whine and complain all the time...I know you were struggling with problems of your own and I'm sorry I couldn't look past my own insecurities and "problems" to see that you needed someone to listen as well....If you ever need to talk, I will be here.....
I don't think this entry will be read, nor do I think there will be any responses, but it was just something I felt needed to be said.....
Well, this entry has been long enough.....i think it's time to go to sleep or something.....
Emily~thanks for showing me that you do have feelings, even if you hide them from everyone including me.....you ever need anything, don't hesistate to call.
Lisa~thanks for being by my side, even when most weren't.....you are my rock to lean on, and I'm glad to help you whenever I can...just let me know...
Hesser Gals~thanks for putting up with all my bullshit....I was a very angry person, and most of the time I think I took it out on you...and I'm sorry for that..
Jen~Thank you for listening to me whine and complain all the time...I know you were struggling with problems of your own and I'm sorry I couldn't look past my own insecurities and "problems" to see that you needed someone to listen as well....If you ever need to talk, I will be here.....
I don't think this entry will be read, nor do I think there will be any responses, but it was just something I felt needed to be said.....
Well, this entry has been long enough.....i think it's time to go to sleep or something.....