RP Log with geniuscowboy | Long walks on the beach in the moonlight...

[cutandlearn]

It was a really hot Miami night, more so than usual. Chris had worried about Rick and his hot sweats he had been breaking out into, turning up his air conditioner to full force only to have Rick tell him to quit it and turn it down when he found himself shivering so much he couldn't get warm. Chris frustratingly accused him of being like a pregnant chick, leading to them both to break out into an uncontrollable wave of laughing that must have been really needed. It broke some of the tension, especially when Rick promised Chris could be there for the birth, before telling him to go take Serena out on a date. Of course, he promised Chris he would be fine on his own, but Chris didn't buy it. In fact, it took some awesome secret ninja tactics to actually arrange to have Bella come over again that evening. It was her second day off in a row, and while she was reluctant, she agreed to come over, despite the fact she was suffering from a headache herself. Chris didn't really expect her to agree so easily, and if she didn't, he was going to ask Dave to come keep Rick company while he had a bit of a timeout with Serena. But Bella agreed. She agreed, and Chris wasn't sure what to think about that. The date nearly didn't happen, though. Just as Chris was getting ready to leave, Rick started throwing up badly again. Bella had to actually shove him out the door, assuring him she had it in hand.


Chris eventually left, and he picked Serena up for a date in Rick's car. They had an early dinner at a nice steak house, followed by a movie, and now they were walking out onto the beach hand-in-hand when Chris suggested they go for a walk in the moonlight. They had been dating for awhile now, but this was something they hadn't done yet, but something he had always wanted to. He was relaxing, finally, after sending no less than seventeen text messages to Bella and Rick to make sure his brother was okay. He only relented when Bella promised to call ASAP if Rick wasn't okay. They had left their shoes in the car and once again, Chris felt the sand between his toes as he walked. They couldn't have asked for a better night.

Serena smiled to herself as they walked along, her gaze flicking to the Tiffany bracelet adorning her wrist and then to the ring that Chris was wearing. She had never been at the point in a relationship where swapping little blue boxes for birthdays had been on the horizon. Even with her ex there hadn't been any Tiffany. They'd dated a year, and Serena had constantly felt an urge to just keep him at a distance a little. Like she hadn't quite wanted him to know her all that well. With Chris she'd wanted to dive in deep within the first couple weeks. He'd fixed her clicker, and somehow that was like waving a red flag at a bull. She'd wanted Chris, and she'd wanted him completely.

She bumped her shoulder against him lightly before she started to laugh and pulled him towards the ocean so they could get their feet wet. She bent down to flick water up at him, her blue eyes challenging him a little in the moonlight. "How's it going in that head of yours, Dr C?"

"Ohhhh, it's like that, is it?" Chris laughed and turned abruptly to scoop her up into his arms. "I could drop you, you know. Right into the beautiful waves. I do have a keen taste for you wet." He breached the gap between them, brushing his lips against the corner of hers in a soft kiss before he tilted his head towards her. "I don't know. Do my brains look like they're seeping out of my ears. They sure felt like it this morning..." He paused, watching her face in the moonlight as the water lapped around his feet. "Do you want to know what I was dreaming about this morning?"

Serena giggled and squealed as he scooped her up, her fingers gripping onto Chris tightly in case he really was about to drop her. "I'm really starting to figure that out, but I think dropping me in the waves is a little extreme. Ask nice enough, and maybe we could try skinny dipping." She grinned at the kiss before she walked her fingers along the side of his face and tugged gently on his earlobe. "Hm, not seeing any signs of leakage, but that's not to say there might not be some serious damage to your ability to think logically." Serena stilled in his arms as she gave a small nod, her smile fading just a little. "Of course I do."

Chris had a secure hold on her, though it was hardly any effort to lift her. It wasn't like she was a huge thing, far from it, and he more than had the strength. "Skinny dipping, huh? Now there's a way to end a date," he told her with a cheeky grin. But he sighed and glanced out at the waves in the distance. "We were on the beach. Gorgeous day in Miami... one of the best I'd ever seen, and that's saying something. You and me, and a whole bunch of other people." He glanced back, shooting her a faint smile. "It was our wedding. Don't even know where that came from, but we were getting married, and it was great. You were shitting yourself though, but it was something about the dress and how many seats needed to be on one side to match the other. I guess it was that accountant in you. It was awesome, and it was just starting. Even in my dream, I felt happy. Until... until I realised Rick wasn't there. I couldn't see him at all. I wouldn't let anything start until he was, but he just wasn't there. That's when I woke up."

"I will always be one to vote for a big finish. Not that our dates aren't memorable enough." Serena relaxed in his arms when she realised he wasn't letting her go any time soon, and reached up to brush her fingers against his lips as her stomach fluttered at the idea of their wedding, and the fact that he'd been dreaming about it. And then Chris delivered the punch line and she let out a small gasp. "Oh no... Does that mean... Were you worried it meant he wasn't going to survive? Are you scared about that?"

Chris gave a small laugh but then sighed again. "I'm terrified," he admitted, only loud enough for her to hear over the water. "I guess it was just my mind playing tricks on me, but it was confronting. I woke up, threw up all over the bedroom floor and rushed to clean it up before Rick realised I was sick. I think I'm coping okay with it, but it seemed to get me when I'm asleep and the subconscious kicks in. It's weird. He's hardly ever been in my life physically, but I... I don't know how I could cope if he was gone out of it. I try not to think about it, but it's there, you know? He's there, having chemo in the Oncology centre. He's in my spare room on IV fluids because he's so dehydrated. And he's telling me to go out on a date and enjoy myself. Which I am. More than you could know. This is exactly what I needed."

Serena kissed him softly before she rest her head against his shoulder. "Before, even if he wasn't always there, you still knew he might come back. You still let yourself have tiny little slivers of hope that you would have that brotherly relationship you always craved. Now he has cancer and there's a chance that... he'll be gone for good. There's no coming back from death," she replied quietly. "It's understandable that you're terrified, Chris. And it's okay to admit to it. It's even harder to avoid thinking about it. Rick will probably be thinking about it just as much. I think he's realised that he wants to stick around. He wants to be there for good. He also just wants you to be okay. This is him trying to be the big brother. You're going to have to let him. Same as he needs to let you take care of him." She smiled a little as she rubbed her hand against his chest. "I'll always be here for whatever you need, Chris."

Chris drew in a long breath and walked backwards on the sand so they were far enough away from the water to not get wet and he sat down. She was sitting in his lap now and he rested his head against hers. "I don't know how to let him be a big brother. I know that sounds completely awful, and I know there is that whole time heals thing. For sure. I understand that, and I'm not pushing anything. It's not easy, but it's working. We're interacting more, joking like we usually do, but we always did that because there was nothing else to talk about. But the essence of the big brother thing?" He shook his head a little. "I don't know how to let him in like that. I'm trying, but I can feel myself pulling away because I'm just so used to going it alone. Or used to being the one digging him out of shit. I'm always trying not to lose it in front of him, to let him see me upset or waning. That's just hard to keep up. But there is this constant voice at the back of my head telling me I'm running out of time. That I might keep him away and wake up one day and he's... gone. Just like that dream."

Serena started to comb her fingers through Chris' hair and stayed quiet as she listened, the sound of the waves breaking in front of them the only other noise on the beach. "You might have to let yourself fall apart in front of him. Let him be the one to comfort you, to understand that you do need him." She wet her lips and sighed softly when she thought about Drew and the number of times he'd had to comfort his little sister. "I know you don't have the same relationship that I do with Drew, but that's one thing he's always been able to give me. And the talking. The advice... Maybe you just need to keep spending that time with Rick and seeing what happens. Just let things progress naturally while you can. This is... This isn't how it should be, you should get the time you need, and I know it's like you have this huge pressure on you right now, but all that matters is your brother. And the time you do have left."

Ironically, Chris was starting to understand now why Proctor told him to take the time off work he needed. He was more than thinking about his priorities. They were in the forefront of his mind all day, every day, and now even in his subconscious when he tried to sleep. It would have also been impossible for him to cope with caring for Rick and clocking onto the twelve hours plus shifts he was used to. It would have killed him. "What if I can't do it? What if can't ever let him be the big brother? Can't... let him take care of me? You know me. Look how much you had to fight for me to let you take care of me with even the flu. Even now? Now I come down to the beach when I feel myself losing it, so I'm alone when it happens and there's no one else around. Do you think I have some sort of screw loose? If I feel it happening with Rick, what do I do? I lash out, I go below the belt, because it keeps him at arms length. Then he can't hurt me again if I let him get close and he doesn't stick around. But I just don't know how to fall apart around him."

Serena moved in his arms so she was straddling him and could hug Chris better as she slipped her arms around her boyfriend. She rubbed her hand against his back and turned her head to press her lips against his neck before she pulled back enough to look at him. "Yeah, I remember how hard I worked. You even make me work hard still. I feel like I'm being a bitch whenever I have to nearly torture you to eat, or sleep, or just stop for five minutes. I'm not asking you to fall apart in front of me because I know that's not going to be easy, either. I'll take the talking. I promised I'd listen, and I will. But... You just need to let Rick in on this one, because it's going to be a test for both of you. This is the brother moment, not the girlfriend one. Instead of going to the beach, maybe just lie on the bed with him, or hug him, or... sit with him. I don't think you have a screw loose, I just think you're so used to not being able to trust anyone enough to open up that you just don't always know how to do it. Remember what you said to me? No hearts on sleeves. You just keep your heart so deep in your chest that this isn't easy for you. You're reacting the only way you know how because you've been burned by your own family that many times."

Chris listened closely, watching her face. When she stopped talking and a silence fell over them, he nodded and closed his eyes when they dampened and a couple of tears slipped down his cheeks. there was no move to hide them or push them away. Just hearing about his family like that, plain and simple how it had been for him, it hurt. They had always been his family, and he did everything he could to help them, he clutched onto it as hard as he could to try and maintain something, but one day it just got too much and he gave up trying when it never happened. He started self-preserving, living for the moment, telling himself he didn't need anyone, and now it was the only survival tactic he knew. He hadn't worn his heart on his sleeve in a very long time. He felt around for one of her hands and wrapped his fingers around it. "I need you too, though. You've gotta know that. I can't do this without you, and I don't want to."

Serena kissed at the tears, brushing them away with her lips as a lump grew in her own throat at seeing them. She hadn't meant to talk about his family so bluntly, but Serena just wanted to try and explain things as best as she understood them. She was listening, always listened. She brought his hand up to her lips and kissed back of it as she nodded. "Of course I do. But even if you didn't, I wasn't going to give you much of a choice. You're stuck with with me now, Deleo. I'm never letting you do anything alone."

Chris wrapped her in another hug, resting his head on her shoulder and letting the conversation ease for a few moments as he just held the embrace, listening to the waves crashing against the shore further up the beach. It was calmer here, not as noisy, but the fresh sea air was still there, the warm sand was underneath them and the almost-full moon in the clear sky above them. "It's strange. Just a few months ago, it was like I didn't have a care in the world. Not one. I just went through all the motions, work was my life. I left Lake Wimico and my family behind. Miami had something to offer me. It was a freedom I wanted and the work was what I thrived on. I could never have picked that I was about to learn my best mate and brother had cancer. I would never have believed anyone if they told me I would be in a relationship, asking a chick to move in. Rayner was still my boss, and I would have just waltzed into a fellowship when my residency finished. I spent my spare time surfing, playing sports, drinking at the crab shack, having one night stands. Now it all just feels like someone grabbed the rug under me and tugged it so hard I'm just falling with nothing to grab on to to stop it. Everything that was my comfort zone feels like it's gone, and I'm trying to find a new one. I just wish I had more of a clue what the hell was around the corner."

"Hate to break it to you, baby, but not all of us can guess what's around the corner. None of us would have seen what was coming. Think Tuck knew he was going to get stabbed? When change comes, it comes in when we least expect it and it does leave you spinning for a while. It's not always good change, either. I can't say I regret this... Us. I don't. I love you, Chris. With everything inside me. It just hurts knowing that it came along with all the things that have brought you pain. The timing sucked, but maybe it wasn't meant to be any other way." Serena started to brush her fingers through his hair again, her eyes damp with unshed tears. "I think... I think everything's that's happened is just meant to show you there's more to life than just cruising along. It's a seriously fucked up way of doing it, but still..."

"I'm a trauma surgeon. I knew that. I've always believed life's just random. But when it's all happening at once to you and everyone around you, you start wondering why the fuck me. Or wondering if you're a jinx. First Rayner goes mental, Eva misses out on the job she wanted, Tuck gets stabbed, Dave tells me he had cancer, Rick gets diagnosed with cancer and loses a kidney. When is it going to stop? Is it going to stop?" Chris could help but ask with a slight, confused laugh. "This. Us. All in the middle of it is one good thing to come of it all. It's helped me stay sane. But even then, we've had to hide it. We've had to wonder what it's going to mean if we don't hide it. We still don't know that. We seem to end every one of our dates with me spilling my guts to you, I'm sorry. I don't want you to remember our dates like that."

Serena gave a short laugh of disbelief. "Are you kidding? Why wouldn't I want to remember our dates for this, and not just the good parts? This is a good part... This is the part where we become closer and you let me into behind that guard around your heart a little bit more." Serena pushed his hair back from his face and kissed his forehead. "We're probably not going to know for a little while, but Tuck keeps giving me these looks and Proctor's kept things very professional. Eva's still just Eva until you talk to her. I didn't want to take that away from you. I'm just hoping that we're through the storm now, and we might get to the calm. Catch our breaths and just work on getting Rick better."

Chris shook his head a little. "I haven't had time to talk to Eva. I will, it's just been hard now that I'm not at work. It's a nice thought, but the storm has just begun. Rick has another eight weeks of this round of chemo, if nothing else changes between now and then. I keep trying to catch my breath, but I'll settle on just knowing I can breathe, because sometimes it feels like I can't. Tuck's like a big, masculine aunty. He wants to know everyone is okay, and fuck, did I tell you? He and Bella used to date."

Serena shook her head as her eyes went wide. "No, you didn't! Oh my god... What if he finds out about your brother being sweet on her? I can actually see them together, though. Wow... Go Tuck." She rubbed the tip of her nose against Chris' and squeezed his hand. "If you ever forget to breathe, you can be rest assured I'll give you CPR. I'll even get my own crash cart if I have to. I know this is hard, but you're not alone. Grab onto me..."

"Their schedules clashed, but they're still good friends. You think the cancer has Rick's life on the line. Uh-uh, not if he hurts Bella." Chris dropped back onto the sand so he was lying, pulling Serena with him so she was lying on top of him. He was a little breathless even just thinking about the enormity of everything all at once. She was his lifeline, to say the least. "You probably don't realise that I already am, and have been for weeks now..." he told her quietly and then started to kiss her deeply, pushing his foot against the sand to get leverage in the embrace.

Serena kissed him back passionately as she cupped his face in her hands and moaned softly in response. It wasn't much of a verbal one, but everything she wanted to say was going into the kiss instead. It eased off when they both needed to catch their breath, and Serena rubbed her thumb against Chris' cheek as she looked down at him. "I won't let you fall, I promise."

Chris rested his head back in the sand, looking up at her and feeling her hair tickle against his cheek the way she was leaning over him. It was amazing what being at the beach with the sound of the waves in the distance and Serena as company could do for him. No doubt about it, he had fallen head over heels for her before he even realised what was happening, and he just wanted more. "I want the whole package," he admitted to her softly and then gave a small nod. "I need to talk to Eva. ASAP. I don't want to hide anymore. Not here, not at work. Nowhere."

Serena flashed him an apologetic smile. "And you still need to meet Drew," she reminded him quietly. She wasn't trying to push the brother thing, but where it was important to Chris for Eva to know about them, it was just as important to Serena for Chris to meet her brother. This was the man she loved, and her brother hadn't even met him yet. "I would love the whole package. Especially since we are gonna move in together. Also solves your problem of a car. You'd get joint custody of my clicker."

Chris laughed softly, happy to just lie here in the sand with her for a bit longer. "I'm actually going to have to make on my free car parking space down stairs? Miss Three A isn't going to be happy I'm booting her out of it. She's had it for free for four years now." He rested his hands on her hips, giving her a soft squeeze. "I'm sorry I haven't had the time for your brother. I'm not putting it off, I'm sorry. You met mine, so it's only fair. I'm just not sure the way I've been is the impression I wanted to make on him. He'll be thinking you're dating a mental case."

Serena was more than comfortable on top of Chris, her fingers tracing over his features and brushing over his face lightly. "I guess so, yeah. We'll get her a gift basket, or something... Or just help her out with paying for a spot. I'm sure she'll understand. If not... We have vays of making her understand," Serena added in her poor Russian accent. "It's okay. I get it, even Drew gets it. He's a musical therapist so he's seen patients with chemo, and he's met the family members dealing with it. He won't think you're mental, I promise. I know the timing sucks, and if it could have been done before all this... But we don't have a time machine. Just when you think you have a moment... I'd really like you to meet him."

"I didn't even know your brother was a doctor. I seriously just assumed he was an accountant like your dad, and I have no idea why I assumed that. Probably because I thought you would have mentioned if he was a doctor, only because he's not an MD, it wasn't like you would just turf it into the conversation. Seriously, though. I'm shitting myself about meeting him. I can tell you guys are close, and he might hate me. I might be nothing like he expected you to be with." Chris couldn't help the uncertainty. This felt more important than even meeting the parents. Serena had met Rick, but at the same time, as horrible as it sounded, Rick's opinion wasn't going to bear on things with Serena simply because he hadn't been around enough to have that luxury. If he kept his word and stuck around more, inevitably Chris was going to let him into more aspects of his life. But if Rick hadn't approved of Serena, it was highly likely Chris would have just told him to go fuck himself. Luckily it didn't come to that and Rick and Serena got along well. But Serena and her brother had been close forever, so this was huge.

"Well, he has a PhD in Musical Arts. So he's a doctor of sorts, just not an MD. He travels a lot depending on who hires him. He's got his own practice, and he really is a gifted musician. He got all that side of things. I got all Dad's logical thinking, and not an ounce of anything musical except maybe passable singing, and I can definitely dance. He's not going to hate you. He's had earfuls about you, so he's at least a little prepared. The player thing had him worried, but I think he's realised how big it is for me and you to have gotten together. He's just annoyed that I didn't introduce you two yet. He's cool. You'll like him, I promise. He might still pull the big brother act, but it's mandatory..." Serena rest her head down against Chris' shoulder and moved her fingers down his neck and over his shoulder as she continued with the light touches. Truth was there was just a small part of her that had maybe delayed the introductions because she was terrified that her brother might decide after all that Chris wasn't worthy of his sister's affection. Still, it needed to happen if Chris and Serena were really going to get the whole package with this relationship. It was one of their last hurdles.

Chris' eyes fell closed briefly when he sighed. Some of the touches were tickly, but others just felt amazing, like she was keeping him aware at every single moment that she was there and keeping him grounded. "Just for the record, I wasn't as big a player as everyone thought I was. I was a bit, for stress relief more than anything. But not like the grapevine makes it out I was. Hell, I wouldn't have time for work if I was that bad. And the waitress with the shoe? I seriously was only minding my business that night, grabbing dinner on the way home from work. I wasn't out on the pull or anything like that." He opened his eyes with a laugh. "Hey, I somehow managed to pull the little brother act on Bella without even realising what I was doing. It must be some sort of inner mojo inbuilt that you don't even realise is there. It's probably impossible to count the amount of women Rick as been through. He was always worse than me. But this one, who actually seems to really care about him and he's got a thing for? I decide to pull the little brother asshole routine."

"I believe you," Serena said quietly as she let out a soft laugh. "It was just a little fun teasing you about it. Especially the shoe. It's now part of MT1 legend. You've down in the history books. And I'm really not as pissed about that as I sometimes seem. It was just... It was an insane day. But I think at the end of it, we both got something pretty damn special out of it. For that reason alone, I think the shoe thing is part out our history too." She shifted her gaze to his face and smiled. "It's instinct. I think you recognise that Bella is different to the others, so you were testing her. I just don't think either of you know what it means yet."

"I'm no boy scout, but I'm not Hugh Heffner, either. Despite popular opinion, I've always wanted this..." Chris brushed his hands down over her hip and then pulled her in for another soft kiss. "I wanted to find someone that felt right, that I could have fun with, and have a laugh. I just wasn't sure I ever would with my schedule and now you know that I have family issues. I mean, that's not something you can tell on first glance of someone. It's easy to make it seem like you don't have a care in the world if you cover it well enough. Ironically, it was Proctor I first eluded the issues to. That drunk driver that wasn't? I tried to get out of the case, but Proctor wouldn't let me. It came out eventually, and I apologised to the patient for judging him. It was around that point that woke me up to realise I wasn't hiding it as well as I thought I was, and it snowballed from there. I know I seem all down on Rick, but the catalyst of that is my father. He caused all the problems when he started drinking when I was really young. Rick just didn't know how to deal with that, so I guess he rebelled and started pissing off because he didn't want to be around dad either... even though he wanted dad to change and be a father to us. Rick was the one who followed in dad's footsteps. I was the black sheep. My father thinks I'm just sitting prettily in some clinic up here handing out prescriptions and reaping in the cash for it. So, it was my dad and Rick that both screwed me over. Probably why getting Proctor's approval was important on some level."

Serena wet her lips in the wake of the kiss and pressed another one to Chris' jaw as she linked their fingers again and hugged his hand to her chest. "And now? Do you feel like you have his approval even after that's happened? I can't blame you for needing a father figure. Who wouldn't after what you've been through? Who doesn't want that father that does approve, that encourages, that's proud of what you do. I'm lucky. I have that... Even if he's given me a warped way of looking at life. Rick's here now, he wants to make up for his mistakes. I think it says a lot that he really does still want to try after everything. He could have pissed off for good, and you might never have seen him again. There was something in him that wanted to be your brother, even if he did fuck it up. You're an amazing doctor, Chris. You're a talented surgeon, and you're a good man. You have every reason to be proud of yourself, and I kind of want to smack your dad around for being such a prick to his sons."

Chris shook his head. "No, no. I'm not looking for a father figure. I'm not. I gave up on that a long time ago. I just needed to know that not all males in an authoratitive role in my life were going to screw me over or assume I was a reckless and selfish asshole. I did have that with Rayner. He was fantastic. But seeing what happened to him brought me back down to reality with a thump, especially when Proctor stepped into his shoes. I wanted to impress him and prove myself to him, but it felt like I was up against a brick wall. Maybe part of me knew once he scored the job that he would be there for a long time and I... I want to be there for a long time, too. If that even makes sense. Then he kept putting my review off. Or at least, it felt like he was, when it was more just a time thing. It was prominent in my mind, he just didn't realise how much I needed to hear that I was doing a good job in his eyes. I didn't even realise it. I've only realised that over the last few days. Ironic, he tells me to go away and think about my priorities, and I actually listen to him. You know, out of all this, there is only one thing I really want? I just want Rick to not turn out like dad. For awhile there, I really thought he would. He was making all the right moves, just sans booze."

Serena nodded a little, her thumb rubbing against the back of Chris' hand. "It makes sense. Funny how Proctor does actually know what he's talking about sometimes, isn't it? And it's not always about the metaphors. He's just trying to help you. Same as he was trying to help me... In his own special way. So how are your priorities going? I think Rick will surprise you. I wouldn't wish cancer on anyone, but maybe it was the wake up call he really needed."

"I know. I just felt like I was functioning against him, not with him. I know he was only trying to help, but he didn't exactly give me much help along. Which wasn't the point anyway, I needed to see it for myself. I have needed this break, I think. Even if it's not much of a break. Hopefully Dave gets on okay with it, because I really don't know when I'll be able to get back. Not for a month or so, at the very least. Priorities are... I can maybe see that what I wanted before, I still really want now." Chris frowned a little, and traced his fingertips through the sand. "He's been so sick. I'm worried about him."

"Dave's still finding his feet. People are accusing him of stealing your spot... Bitches." Serena frowned a little at the gossip flying around MT1 right now. "I offered to do a nudie run to give them something else to talk about, but Dave didn't want you killing him. He'll be fine." Serena sat up a little to look at his face. "Worried the chemo won't work?"

Chris snorted and shook his head. "Are you serious? The dude does me a favour by stepping up when things are tough for me, and he gets treated like shit. They need to get their heads out of their asses and just let him do his job. He's a damn awesome surgeon. If there was a spot on Alpha, he could easily step into it, no question. He's wanted to be a surgeon longer than I have. Okay, he has a point there. I would kill anyone who looked at you naked." His hand stilled in the sand and he rested it on her thigh. "Yeah, I'm worried about that. I'm just worried in general, though. I mean, it could just be the first round, but he could be like this the whole time. I don't know if he'll keep up the strength. Bella seems to give him something, though. A distraction, maybe?"

"Or tender loving care..." Serena murmured as she held Chris' gaze. "Not like we don't all wish for a little TLC when we feel like shit. And sometimes it's nice having it come from a distraction. I think you give him a reason to fight, but maybe Bella's helping to give him the means. She seems to really understand what patients go through, and that's a pretty special quality. And yeah, I'm serious. I feel like slapping every one of those idiots. Okay, so no naked, but I'll come up with something."

"Yeah... maybe you're right there. Rick's had a lot of chicks, but probably none that have just... taken care of him. I haven't asked him how he felt about having her there, and I never intended for her to stay when I got her around with those fluids. I needed her to prescribe them to him, and that's all I wanted. But it was no effort for her. I think she's fighting an internal ethical battle, she's making all the choices herself. I didn't guilt her into staying with him or anything, and then she stayed all night. Came back this evening. He seems to want her there. There's something there, for sure. It made me wonder if she had someone close with cancer. She gets it, unconditionally." Chris pushed up slightly to steal another kiss, glad it was a warm night so they didn't need to rush through the time here on the beach together. "But god. He slept with his doctor," he added with a small, disbelieving laugh. "Only Rick. Seriously."

"The heart wants what the heart wants, regardless of whether it's on a sleeve or not," Serena said as she tugged on Chris' before responding with another kiss, letting this one linger. "I doubt she makes a habit of what's happened with Rick, which means he has to mean something else to her. He's got to be pushing some buttons inside her that she probably really is struggling to reconcile her ethics with. I just hope it doesn't explode the wrong way because I think she's good for him. And I think she's the best doctor he could get."

Chris slipped his hand up under her shirt so he could feel her soft warm skin under his fingers. He loved that sensation as much as the sand. "No, she doesn't. I feel that in my gut. You can see she's nervous about it, but she's not regretting it or she would be putting the distance between them. And think about it, she's seen him at his worst. Seriously, he's had some really bad periods where he's just... sick. So sick. It probably makes him feel like it won't ever stop. I've asked around, her rep is amazing. She's held in high regard. I think Rick is just hitting something inside her."

Serena nuzzled in against Chris' neck as she took a moment to just breathe in his scent mingled with the smells of the salt water, and the sand. Chris always managed to remind her of the beach, even at the hospital he smelled like he belonged with the waves. Now she knew why. "I guess you'll just have to wait and see what happens. Hopefully Rick's not stupid enough to push too far over the boundary - again - for her to decide he's not worth her licence."

"That right there is what I'm worried about. He's already got a thing for her. I see the way he looks at her. How is he going to cope if she puts the brakes on? He'll have to deal with losing her with a doctor as well. It just bothers me. But I don't want to come on heavy for her either. She's going more than out of her way to help him. It just all makes our situation feel not so hard, you know?" Chris murmured and then with a small sigh, pulled her into another kiss. She was too much to resist, and he wanted to make the most of their time together. Hell, making love to her right there and then was starting to feel extremely tempting.

Serena hummed with pleasure at the kiss, letting go of his hand to start working on the buttons of his shirt. Apparently her mind was travelling along a very similar track, the fact that they were in public not exactly bothering her. She and Chris had yet to indulge in public sex, and right now as far as she could tell they definitely had this part of the beach to themselves. "So talk to Rick instead. Maybe he needs to be the one to put the brakes on," she whispered when she pulled out of the kiss to catch her breath briefly before picking right back up where she left off as her hands pushed away his shirt from his body and she ran her palms over his torso.

"Yeah, maybe... or maybe not." Chris swore softly in the wake of his comment. He had just pushed through a really tough few days, but right now, he had set that aside for the moment and couldn't think about anything but Serena and her touches. Her hands on his body never failed to do it for him, and he could feel his jeans get tight when the beach sex went from a maybe to a probably in his head. He really wasn't foreign to this. It was Miami. Beach sex happened, and at this time of night, there weren't many people around anyway. Maybe a few dog walkers, but even then, not on this portion of the beach. He was already lost in the kiss and his hands went to her ass, squeezing it softly as he pulled her hips down against his to increase the friction. Part of him wondered if he should feel guilty for this, but part of him knew he also needed some escape from everything else so he didn't go crazy. He needed this, he needed her. He broke the kiss just briefly enough to breathe out, "I love you," to her, before he wanted her lips back to himself again.