[NSFW] RP Log with geniuscowboy | Just workmates...?
Set post Miami Medical episode 1x04 "All Fall Down"
[FOLLOWS THIS]
Chris was sitting out on the balcony of his apartment, peering over the edge and randomly flicking M&Ms at the people walking on the sidewalk five floors below. He had only hesitated for a moment when contemplating going out there. How could he not? After getting income at work after a balcony collapse, who wouldn't be slightly wary? Still, he had nothing better to do. It was an overcast day and the fog hadn't even allowed him to go for a surf. Eva had gone home after they had a beer on the beach and it once again left Chris alone with his thoughts, so he just ended up taking a leaf out of her book and going home too.
He was still reeling over the fact Proctor sent him home off shift. He couldn't think on it too long because the anger started to build up inside him and he would probably end up saying or doing something he regretted. He had to bite his tongue when Proctor tore him a new one and he had been surprised he couldn't taste blood by the end of it. Sent home from work. It wasn't even the fact it was a blow to the ego, it was the fact that Chris didn't - and wouldn't - believe he did anything wrong. Sure, he left when he was told because Proctor was still his boss, but he still held firm in his belief over trying to protect Serena. He didn't care. Proctor was such an unknown quantity, clearly. He could have reacted anyway to her error with the patient. If she wasn't confident, she should have said and that was why Chris wanted to protect her. Who hadn't made mistakes as a resident? It's how you learnt.
The green M&M he went to flick this time missed and bounced off the railing onto the floor by his feet. He just watched it for a few moments and then groaned softly to himself, leaning back in the chair and rubbing his eyes roughly. It just plain sucked, there was no other way to explain it, really. The thing that seemed to be pissing him off the most was the fact he hadn't got the chance to see his patients through to the end, and that just downright aggravated him.
Serena should have known it was Dr C when she felt something hit the top of her head and then glanced down to see an M&M by her foot. Only she thought nothing of it, and didn't even look up. For all she knew it was just some kids. She was too caught up in the curiosity that came with wanting to know what the hell had happened to get Chris sent home by Proctor. She had this horrible feeling in her gut that it had something to do with her fuck up, but she wasn't sure. How could she be sure? She hadn't seen Chris again after rushing into surgery with pool guy, and Procotor.
Now she was off shift, and there was only one place she wanted to go. The thought should have concerned her, but she was his friend as well as his student, and his... benefit. Serena pushed her way into Dr C's building, giving the doorman a wave as she past. It really was getting to be a recurring situation with her just rocking up here. In fact, she'd only been here the night before. She'd given Chris a ride in the morning after a night of hot sex and now she was back again. She might as well have her own apartment here. By the time she got to his floor, Serena was practically bouncing on her heels. The nerves and curiosity really were killing her, and she probably banged a little harder than she meant to on his door as she waited.
Chris dipped his head even further back over the chair so he could look at his apartment door upside down. Now that he had planted himself on a chair, he didn't actually feel like moving. And why should he? He was supposed to be sitting on the naughty chair, wasn't he? He felt like he was a kid again, being sent to his room for doing something wrong. No doubt by now the whole hospital would know it, too. Brilliant. With a heavy sigh and pushed up out of the chair and was scratching his stomach through his t-shirt as he made his way to the door. If he didn't have to work tomorrow, he would be probably out somewhere right now getting extremely drunk and trying to pull to take his mind off things.
When he opened the door and found Serena standing there, he balked, hand still planted on the doorknob. His forehead creased uncertainly as a few moments passed and then he cleared his throat. "Hey," he finally greeted her, feeling just a tiny bit awkward after what had gone down that day.
Serena's eyebrows drew together as she watched Chris' reaction to seeing her. "Hey," she returned, just as uncertain now he was giving her A Look. She just wasn't too sure what the look was. She'd told him not to cover for her. She should have owned up to Proctor from the start, and now he'd lied for her. She wasn't naive enough to think it had anything to do with them sleeping together, but it was certainly going to look suspicious if anyone caught onto them. Mostly if Proctor did. "I'm sorry if you were... ah, busy. I just wanted to see if you were okay. I can't believe Proctor sent you home. Why did he send you home?"
Chris' features shifted abruptly from uncertain to surprised as his eyebrows rose at her question. "I figured you would've heard if Eva did," he admitted, and for the first time he did actually pause and wonder how Eva knew. Proctor must have told her, or some nosey nurse had overheard the conversation between him and Proctor in the corridor and passed it around the department. If it had been the latter, however, Serena would have heard. So, it was Proctor, and Chris couldn't help being even slightly more irked at this realisation. So much for trust. He also figured that telling another lie about getting in the shit for lying was probably a really stupid idea. He stepped aside and gestured with his hand for her to come in. "Because I lied to him. Apparently he has a trust fetish on top of everything else."
Serena was still looking confused as she stared back at him. "If Eva... Lied? About wha--" She stopped, her lips pressed tightly together as realisation hit and she dropped her gaze to the floor as she shifted her weight to her other foot and felt the wave of guilt crash down over her. "Oh. Me. The pneumo. I told you you didn't have to lie, and I know you didn't want me going to Proctor, but I had to! It was my mistake. It wasn't anything else but me not being able to do it all dinosaur. You gave me a chance, and I blew it."
"Or you not being able to have the conscience to let me have your back," Chris corrected before he could stop himself. He closed the door behind her and cleared his throat, walking back into the main part of the apartment. "Not that I blame you. I interferred, and it wasn't my place to. Your residency is your call, and you've gotten to know Proctor better than I have. I think next time, I'm keeping my mouth shut," he decided wryly, his hands coming to rest on his hips. "It was my fuck up, don't beat yourself up. Just please... please tell me if you aren't confident about something in the future."
Serena followed him quietly, unable to stop beating herself up even if he was asking her not. She was a perfectionist, he knew that. It meant she couldn't help but wallow in guilt when she thought she'd done something wrong. Now she had the added guilt because of Chris doing something wrong on her behalf. "Conscience? I didn't even... Why would you... It's always been Dr Zambrano having my back. I didn't realise you even wanted it." She held her hand up briefly to indicate that she was aware there had been more than a little naked back having. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't realise that was what you were doing. I didn't even stop to think about why you did it, just that you shouldn't have. Thank you for having my back, Dr C. I just wish it was a better one for you to watch. I just... I should have said I wasn't confident. I'll get it right next time."
Chris scratched his forehead with the tips of his fingers and gave a small laugh. "You've been here four months, there hasn't been a lot of chance for me to get in beyond Eva to have your back," he pointed out and then waved his hand. "But it's cool. She's a chick, you're a chick, and you needed a mentor. You can't get a better one than Eva. The thing is, we might all be a team, but we all have our own way of doing things. Only with Proctor, he has come in with this overreaching way of his own but no instruction manual. I've got to be your Chief Resident and not your mate, and if I want to keep my job, seems I need to respect that. His words, not mine. Just for the record, I would've done exactly the same thing whether we were sleeping together or not. That was a professional choice on my part, nothing else came into it."
Serena gave a nod before she raised her hand slightly like she was back in college and was trying to ask a question. "It's not about being chicks. It's about... well, she just seemed to want to step up but since Proctor came along we haven't exactly been spending much time together. Even without the sleeping together thing, you and me... we've had more time together on shift. I'm learning things from you. Lots of things, and I don't want to stop. I want to learn whatever you've got to teach me, however you want to teach me. And now I know that there's back having, and I'm okay with that. Really. So thank you for the professional choice. I probably would have told Proctor regardless. I don't like being dishonest. Not when it comes to my work."
Chris didn't say anything at first. He watched her closely as she spoke, an unreadable expression on his face. "I didn't know how he was going to react when you told him," he finally explained to her. "He's on about trust and loyalty, being a team, but to be honest, I don't know him well enough to trust him yet. Just being on a team together isn't enough for me. I need time to know him, it's how I operate, and he's giving me nothing but walls to work with. I can't say I'm impressed."
"He's Proctor," Serena answered as if that was supposed to explain it, but even as she said it her shoulders just slumped in defeat. It was true that Proctor was a hard man to get to know. He'd told her about the lacrosse girl, but even now she was wondering if she should pass that information onto Chris. How was trust supposed to come into it if she couldn't keep people's confidences? She stepped forward towards Dr C, and raised her eyebrows a little. "Do you trust me?"
Chris looked at her skeptically. "And I'm Deleo. What's your point? I get more info from some of my patients in a ten minute conversation than Proctor has given me in however many weeks he has been here. I don't trust him, so why should he trust me? Proof is in the pudding. I don't see what I did as fucking up. I see it as a choice he just didn't agree with. If the patient had further complications, fine. I get it. But I'm still the Chief Resident and I still can make calls about my patients... especially the ones he doesn't even lay a hand on until they crash." He paused and let out a breath of frustration. "I'm starting to," he had to admit honestly. "Though after today, I'm wavering a little. It's unnverving that we're meant to be a team, but I know for a fact Proctor is telling you more than he's telling the rest of us."
Serena reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear as she cleared her throat. "Maybe because I ask. Or because I'm just there when he feels honest. I don't know why he tells me more. I don't really ask for more, I just... ask. I don't want to lose your trust because of that. I'm not doing it to get on your bad side. I'm not on anyone's side but the team's. And maybe the patients' when I'm not stabbing them in the lung."
Chris pressed his lips together and finally sat down on his sofa. "I wasn't talking about taking sides or who is on whose side of the fence. That didn't even cross my mind. All I'm saying is that his idea of trust seems to be in a whole other realm to mine. And that's fine. I'll rock up to work tomorrow and roll with whatever he wants. That's the shiney happy pants he gets to wear being the boss. But you know what, Serena? You're going to make mistakes, and owning up to them is probably an admirable quality. But at the same time, I've been taught to learn how to wear them without wetting my pants for days when I do," he told her, looking up at her pointedly, raising his eyebrows to see if she was going to get it. "One day, you'll be flying solo, could even be heading your own team. Who do you go to then if you make a mistake? You don't. You build up the guts to wear it yourself, with support from your friends."
Serena nodded slowly before she set her bag down and took a seat next to Chris. She pulled her legs up under her, her knees resting against his thighs as she sat close to him. Her eyes held his gaze before she leaned in to brush her lips against his cheek. "Thank you for the support," she murmured. "I'm just sorry I'm such a perfectionist that I can't notice it. I didn't mean to land you in the naughty corner. I still can't believe he just sent you home."
"I'm more pissed off he didn't let me follow through with my patients. As if they didn't have enough shit to worry about," Chris said, his lips pressing together in annoyance. "One other time in my work on the Alpha Team did I not follow through on my cases, and it was after I got smacked in the head by a patient and couldn't see straight. Oddly enough, I think Proctor's dressing down floored me more than that." He rested his head back on the sofa and looked at her. "You can make your own calls with Proctor from now on," he told her with a small laugh.
"Well, I am a big girl," Serena murmured with a smile. She reached out to touch her fingers to his head and tapped a fingertip against his forehead. "Feeling any effects of concussion now? Or maybe I need to kiss your ass better if you got floored that badly. The patients went okay, but I know you should have been there. It's hard not to see the end of a case through. To see the people you start to get investing in come good."
On the beach and in his M&M missile period, Chris had actually been doing a lot of thinking. On the face of it, he probably had the blank, stupid look down pat, but he had gone to the beach for a surf to give him thinking time. Then there was the damn fog and it sort of left him at a loss of what to do. Luckily Eva had come along and distracted him, or he probably would have just gotten increasingly frustrated and angry. Inevitably, though, considering all that had gone down, Serena had been a topic of much mulling in his brain. "Maybe we shouldn't be doing this," he finally replied to her.
Serena pulled her hand back as she looked at him. "Oh. I... If it's what you want," she said quietly. She couldn't deny that Chris had been on her mind, and the sex thing had been a factor in her wondering why he'd lied to Proctor, but now she got it. She could understand that he had her back. She just couldn't understand why it meant they couldn't keep doing what they were doing. This kind of arrangement only fell down if people weren't on the same page, and talking let you stay on the same page.
Chris sighed and rested his head back against the chair again. "Do you know what Proctor said to me? He said I'm Chief Resident and not Chief Buddy, and it just... I don't know, made me stop and wonder if my professionalism has been going down the can lately. Maybe he has a point. The thing is, being anyone's buddy didn't even come into it. I did it because I personally didn't think you fucked up so massively that we needed to get the boss involved. The patient was fine once we got the catheter in, he's still going to be fine. He also said he doesn't care about my methods." He paused and frowned. "Just makes me wonder why the hell I'm bothering. I'm there to be a surgeon and nothing else, evidently."
Serena tilted her head, and thought about pulling away from Chris even more but she stayed where she was. "You weren't being my buddy. I have buddies, and yeah, we're friends - we did cover that, but so what? I know you too, you know. Even if you like to think you're all mysterious, and don't pretend you don't. You're not as open book as you want people to think you are. I'm sure there's something else about you that you haven't shared. My point is this though, I know you wouldn't ever compromise your position, or your professionalism just for some chick, or some resident. Proctor should know better, too. None of what you're doing is going down the can. You're Dr C."
Chris held his hand up. "Oh whoa, whoa. Back the truck up there. When have I ever tried to be all mysterious? You're mistaking me for Proctor. I don't give a shit what anyone thinks about me, I haven't got anything to hide so please, please don't compare me to him with the mysterious thing. That's all that got me into this shit. If people want to know about me, they just have to ask. Just because I live my life at base level and boring things like being friends with my colleagues gives me pleasure in life doesn't make me an irresponsible asshole. I'm awesome at my job, and Proctor coming in trying to indicate I'm doing it wrong was always just going to piss me off. But it's his call, and I just can't help thinking that if he's already riding my back for this, what is he going to do when he finds out we're sleeping together?"
"So why do you have such a problem with luck?" Serena asked him as she held his gaze. "You don't think there's any kind of greater meaning to life sometimes? That some people are just meant to be alive, or something? I didn't say there was anything boring about your life, and I guess I don't mean Proctor kind of mysterious, but... There's just something. Maybe I'm bullshitting," she finally conceded with a shrug. "It has nothing to do with you and me. It has to do with his trust fetish remember? If it wasn't me, and you did it for another resident, or for even Zambrano... he'd have reacted the same way."
Chris gave a weird look. "Since when do I have a problem with luck? Because I don't believe it, that automatically makes me a weirdo? It's a simple fact of never having experienced it, so why should I just believe it exists? Let's just say I'm indifferent to it. If someone wants to believe they're lucky to get them through, all the pride to them. Maybe some people are lucky and others aren't. Shit happens. Of course there is something, you've only known me for four months. Do you want me to walk around naked to bare my soul? Case in point right there. Just because you haven't had first hand experience of the knowledge, doesn't mean it's not there. Sure, he would have, and he would react the same way if I was sleeping with them, too."
"But you've been a witness to it," Serena argued. "I know you're a good surgeon, but come on. Think about pole guy. That's just... not normal. We're good, but he had some luck to begin with. Surgeons can only do so much. I'm not sure I've ever experienced luck like that, but it makes me wonder." Serena twirled her hair around her fingers as she shifted to tuck her knees up under her chin. "Then we'll stop. I don't want to be a regret, or to cause you more trouble."
Chris shook his head. "That's top notch medicine. If he was so lucky, why didn't he pull the pole out himself, huh? Sometimes, in medicine, extraordinary things just happen. You get weird and wonderful cases come through, that's what makes it so awesome to do the job we do. To succeed in those last few minutes and save the guy's life. He didn't survive because he was lucky, he survived because surgeons pulled the dirty great pole out of him. If he was lucky, the pole wouldn't have even been there in the first place. The tumour was just, hell, you're a surgeon. You know we can find all sorts of things inside people when we open them up. An asymptomatic tumour isn't luck. Just so you know, I could argue this with you all day. No one is right or wrong, I just prefer to have more faith in medicine than luck because frankly, if my life is hanging in the balance, I'm gonna be hoping for an ambulance with good doctors at the end, not a star to wish upon or a penny to throw into a fountain." He growled softly in frustation and scratched his fingers through his hair. "I don't know what to do, Serena. I just don't."
Serena pressed her lips together and couldn't help but smile. "And I'd let you argue with me about it all day. I don't pretend to understand Proctor, I really don't, but sometimes he has a point. Sometimes our patients have a point. The guy shouldn't have been a father, but he was. He shouldn't have survived the pole, but he did. Maybe it's not luck, but it's something. We believe in science, and we believe in medicine. Doesn't mean there isn't anything else out there taking care of the other side of people's lives." She pulled her mouth to the side as she glanced away, taking a quick look out at the sky from Chris' window. She looked back at him before leaning forward to take his face in her hands and kiss him. "I don't want to stop," she murmured against his lips.
"Actually, medicine doesn't say he shouldn't have been a father, it said he had a low sperm count, not no count at all. Still a chance, still not medically possible not to conceive. If he shouldn't have survived the pole, he'd be dead," Chris added pointedly. "It's med-i-cine. Sometimes it's amazing, other times it's not and we lose the patient. I'm not going to buy the luck thing. It's like religion, to each his own." He paused again and looked over her face, raising his eyebows. "Not sure I can if you don't do yoga," he finally joked with a smirk.
"Actually I do do yoga. I can be quite flexible. You just haven't had proper opportunity to find out," she revealed with a wink. "It's good for breathing, and releasing tension when there's no other outlet. Helps clear my head when the med-i-cine starts to clog it up."
Chris smirked, raising his chin a little. "Oh really? You know, guys have a whole other theory on tension releasing tactics..." He shifted a little closer to her and tugged teasingly on the hem of her shirt. "Nothing at all to do with saluting any suns, unless it's a metaphor." He breached the gap between them and caught her lips with his, keeping it light at first before taking the lead and letting the kiss deepen.
Serena's moan was lost in his mouth and she shifted to get her arms and legs around Chris so that they could be closer. She ran her hand down his back, and pushed up under his shirt so she could feel his warm skin, and the muscles working beneath it. Even like this she couldn't help running through some anatomy in her head, the habit a subconscious one now she was a surgeon. She pulled him down on top of her, breathless as the kiss eased off. "I think you might have to show me more about the male perspective on releasing tactics, Dr C. Just to make sure I have it right."
It was probably good Chris didn't know she was thinking about anatomy right then or he would have to stop to inevitably pull the piss out of her. No one ever said he had a huge attention span. He settled between her legs, a hand starting to explore over the planes of her torso to her ass, which he gave a soft squeeze. "I don't know about that. What happens when you get an urge to run to Proctor about my teaching methods?" he joked, nipping at her lower lip and drawing it between his teeth to start kissing her slowly again while he found the buttons of her shirt, flicking them open with ease.
Serena looked up at him as she arched her back, and tried to kick off her heels so that she wouldn't hurt him or get caught in them on the sofa. Her fingers curled around the hem of his shirt and this time she started to tug it up his back in an effort to get him out of it. The sooner he was without it the better. Chris had a damn fine body, and Serena may or may not have had a hankering to see him in action on a surfboard. "There might be an interesting follow up session with him offering pointers while he observes. Or who knows, maybe he'll spank you." She kissed him back, matching his slow pace as she just revelled in the feel of him on top of her again.
Chris stopped and pulled back a little as he started to laugh. "Are you trying to give me a boner or prevent me from ever getting one again?" he asked her and rose up on his knees, sitting straddled over her to he could pull his t-shirt off and fling it onto the floor. "I don't ever want to think about Proctor and spanking in the same vicinity ever again, letting alone spanking my ass." He had her shirt open, flicking the edges out of the way to expose her slim body and cute little lacy purple bra. "Purple?" he teased and then leaned forward to trace over the curve of her cleavage with the tip of his tongue.
Serena grinned as she reached out to smack her hand against his ass before hooking her fingers into the waistband of his pants. "Alright, no Proctor, no spanking... again. Just you and me, and my purple bra. And yes, purple. Something wrong with that colour? I don't think the most important part of you is complaining." Serena cupped his crotch and gave it a squeeze as she let out a shuddering breath at the feel of his tongue. "Oh, God..."
"It never does," Chris returned as he continued to press soft kisses over the swell of her breast. His hand snaked under her back and he had the bra undone with the skill only surgeons hands could afford... and his right one, too. That was talent. He rolled his hips forward against her hand and smiled against her skin as his lips found her nipple. His tongue had it hardened to a delicious peak, but then he was kissing his way back up her throat to her lips, smirking against them. "I told Eva about us," he revealed, half of him waiting to see how she would react while the other half was focused solely on her gorgeous and petite body beneath him.
Serena hummed happily, arching her back to encourage the attention to her breasts as she rubbed the heel of her palm against his cock before she started to work on getting the fly undone. Just the idea of touching him again had her wet, and ready to be ridden into oblivion. She brushed her fingers against his hip dents when she got his pants down a little of the way and hooked a leg tightly around his hip as she lifted her lower body up to rub against him. She froze a second later though, her arousal faltering for just a moment. "You... huh?"
Chris looked down between them so he could start undoing the buttons on her jeans. "Ah huh," he confirmed huskily. "Just had this... urge to come clean. Seems to be a lot of that going around lately." He slipped his hand into the jeans once he had the fly open, sliding his fingers between her legs, not faltering in his attentions at all. He felt like he was sparking with arousal now, all the energy he had previously poured into sulking about his crap day now being focused on getting laid again.
"Clean..." Serena was unable to stop from thinking about what it would be like to have shower sex with Chris. She was shuddering again at just the idea, lifting her hips up against his fingers to increase the friction. "So there's an us," she finally added after a let out a breathy moan. She held his gaze as she finally slipped her hand past the waistband of his pants, her slender fingers wrapping around his cock as she started to mimic his rhythm. Her lips parted, already swollen from the kissing, and she slid her tongue over them. "You don't think she'll tell you-know-who?"
"She might do just that," Chris conceded through a rough exhalation when he felt her fingers around his cock. He let his head fall forward for a moment, thrusting softly against her hand to encourage her ministrations, but he was smirking to himself as he remembered just how the conversation with Eva had gone down. "She thinks he might want a threesome with us." He kept his weight braced on his knees so he could use his other hand to start tugging her jeans down over her hips, not willing to let them be a road block for too long. Where were scrubs when you needed them?
Serena wriggled under him, trying to help him get her jeans off faster even if she was just trying to do it through the power of her mind. She used her free hand to pull him back in for another kiss, her tongue pulsing against his as it matched the strokes of her hand along his length. "I can't see him... agreeing," she murmured between pants. "And I have to admit that I'm not sure I'm ready to share with anyone else like that. Jesus, Chris... I want you."
"Halle-fucking-lujah, because if you want me to keep it up, you better stop talking about Proctor, stat..." Chris got out through a breathless groan against her lips as he deepened the kiss, more than happy to block out the days events buried balls deep inside her, no matter how inappropriate Proctor thought it was to have secrets between colleagues.
[FOLLOWS THIS]
Chris was sitting out on the balcony of his apartment, peering over the edge and randomly flicking M&Ms at the people walking on the sidewalk five floors below. He had only hesitated for a moment when contemplating going out there. How could he not? After getting income at work after a balcony collapse, who wouldn't be slightly wary? Still, he had nothing better to do. It was an overcast day and the fog hadn't even allowed him to go for a surf. Eva had gone home after they had a beer on the beach and it once again left Chris alone with his thoughts, so he just ended up taking a leaf out of her book and going home too.
He was still reeling over the fact Proctor sent him home off shift. He couldn't think on it too long because the anger started to build up inside him and he would probably end up saying or doing something he regretted. He had to bite his tongue when Proctor tore him a new one and he had been surprised he couldn't taste blood by the end of it. Sent home from work. It wasn't even the fact it was a blow to the ego, it was the fact that Chris didn't - and wouldn't - believe he did anything wrong. Sure, he left when he was told because Proctor was still his boss, but he still held firm in his belief over trying to protect Serena. He didn't care. Proctor was such an unknown quantity, clearly. He could have reacted anyway to her error with the patient. If she wasn't confident, she should have said and that was why Chris wanted to protect her. Who hadn't made mistakes as a resident? It's how you learnt.
The green M&M he went to flick this time missed and bounced off the railing onto the floor by his feet. He just watched it for a few moments and then groaned softly to himself, leaning back in the chair and rubbing his eyes roughly. It just plain sucked, there was no other way to explain it, really. The thing that seemed to be pissing him off the most was the fact he hadn't got the chance to see his patients through to the end, and that just downright aggravated him.
Serena should have known it was Dr C when she felt something hit the top of her head and then glanced down to see an M&M by her foot. Only she thought nothing of it, and didn't even look up. For all she knew it was just some kids. She was too caught up in the curiosity that came with wanting to know what the hell had happened to get Chris sent home by Proctor. She had this horrible feeling in her gut that it had something to do with her fuck up, but she wasn't sure. How could she be sure? She hadn't seen Chris again after rushing into surgery with pool guy, and Procotor.
Now she was off shift, and there was only one place she wanted to go. The thought should have concerned her, but she was his friend as well as his student, and his... benefit. Serena pushed her way into Dr C's building, giving the doorman a wave as she past. It really was getting to be a recurring situation with her just rocking up here. In fact, she'd only been here the night before. She'd given Chris a ride in the morning after a night of hot sex and now she was back again. She might as well have her own apartment here. By the time she got to his floor, Serena was practically bouncing on her heels. The nerves and curiosity really were killing her, and she probably banged a little harder than she meant to on his door as she waited.
Chris dipped his head even further back over the chair so he could look at his apartment door upside down. Now that he had planted himself on a chair, he didn't actually feel like moving. And why should he? He was supposed to be sitting on the naughty chair, wasn't he? He felt like he was a kid again, being sent to his room for doing something wrong. No doubt by now the whole hospital would know it, too. Brilliant. With a heavy sigh and pushed up out of the chair and was scratching his stomach through his t-shirt as he made his way to the door. If he didn't have to work tomorrow, he would be probably out somewhere right now getting extremely drunk and trying to pull to take his mind off things.
When he opened the door and found Serena standing there, he balked, hand still planted on the doorknob. His forehead creased uncertainly as a few moments passed and then he cleared his throat. "Hey," he finally greeted her, feeling just a tiny bit awkward after what had gone down that day.
Serena's eyebrows drew together as she watched Chris' reaction to seeing her. "Hey," she returned, just as uncertain now he was giving her A Look. She just wasn't too sure what the look was. She'd told him not to cover for her. She should have owned up to Proctor from the start, and now he'd lied for her. She wasn't naive enough to think it had anything to do with them sleeping together, but it was certainly going to look suspicious if anyone caught onto them. Mostly if Proctor did. "I'm sorry if you were... ah, busy. I just wanted to see if you were okay. I can't believe Proctor sent you home. Why did he send you home?"
Chris' features shifted abruptly from uncertain to surprised as his eyebrows rose at her question. "I figured you would've heard if Eva did," he admitted, and for the first time he did actually pause and wonder how Eva knew. Proctor must have told her, or some nosey nurse had overheard the conversation between him and Proctor in the corridor and passed it around the department. If it had been the latter, however, Serena would have heard. So, it was Proctor, and Chris couldn't help being even slightly more irked at this realisation. So much for trust. He also figured that telling another lie about getting in the shit for lying was probably a really stupid idea. He stepped aside and gestured with his hand for her to come in. "Because I lied to him. Apparently he has a trust fetish on top of everything else."
Serena was still looking confused as she stared back at him. "If Eva... Lied? About wha--" She stopped, her lips pressed tightly together as realisation hit and she dropped her gaze to the floor as she shifted her weight to her other foot and felt the wave of guilt crash down over her. "Oh. Me. The pneumo. I told you you didn't have to lie, and I know you didn't want me going to Proctor, but I had to! It was my mistake. It wasn't anything else but me not being able to do it all dinosaur. You gave me a chance, and I blew it."
"Or you not being able to have the conscience to let me have your back," Chris corrected before he could stop himself. He closed the door behind her and cleared his throat, walking back into the main part of the apartment. "Not that I blame you. I interferred, and it wasn't my place to. Your residency is your call, and you've gotten to know Proctor better than I have. I think next time, I'm keeping my mouth shut," he decided wryly, his hands coming to rest on his hips. "It was my fuck up, don't beat yourself up. Just please... please tell me if you aren't confident about something in the future."
Serena followed him quietly, unable to stop beating herself up even if he was asking her not. She was a perfectionist, he knew that. It meant she couldn't help but wallow in guilt when she thought she'd done something wrong. Now she had the added guilt because of Chris doing something wrong on her behalf. "Conscience? I didn't even... Why would you... It's always been Dr Zambrano having my back. I didn't realise you even wanted it." She held her hand up briefly to indicate that she was aware there had been more than a little naked back having. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't realise that was what you were doing. I didn't even stop to think about why you did it, just that you shouldn't have. Thank you for having my back, Dr C. I just wish it was a better one for you to watch. I just... I should have said I wasn't confident. I'll get it right next time."
Chris scratched his forehead with the tips of his fingers and gave a small laugh. "You've been here four months, there hasn't been a lot of chance for me to get in beyond Eva to have your back," he pointed out and then waved his hand. "But it's cool. She's a chick, you're a chick, and you needed a mentor. You can't get a better one than Eva. The thing is, we might all be a team, but we all have our own way of doing things. Only with Proctor, he has come in with this overreaching way of his own but no instruction manual. I've got to be your Chief Resident and not your mate, and if I want to keep my job, seems I need to respect that. His words, not mine. Just for the record, I would've done exactly the same thing whether we were sleeping together or not. That was a professional choice on my part, nothing else came into it."
Serena gave a nod before she raised her hand slightly like she was back in college and was trying to ask a question. "It's not about being chicks. It's about... well, she just seemed to want to step up but since Proctor came along we haven't exactly been spending much time together. Even without the sleeping together thing, you and me... we've had more time together on shift. I'm learning things from you. Lots of things, and I don't want to stop. I want to learn whatever you've got to teach me, however you want to teach me. And now I know that there's back having, and I'm okay with that. Really. So thank you for the professional choice. I probably would have told Proctor regardless. I don't like being dishonest. Not when it comes to my work."
Chris didn't say anything at first. He watched her closely as she spoke, an unreadable expression on his face. "I didn't know how he was going to react when you told him," he finally explained to her. "He's on about trust and loyalty, being a team, but to be honest, I don't know him well enough to trust him yet. Just being on a team together isn't enough for me. I need time to know him, it's how I operate, and he's giving me nothing but walls to work with. I can't say I'm impressed."
"He's Proctor," Serena answered as if that was supposed to explain it, but even as she said it her shoulders just slumped in defeat. It was true that Proctor was a hard man to get to know. He'd told her about the lacrosse girl, but even now she was wondering if she should pass that information onto Chris. How was trust supposed to come into it if she couldn't keep people's confidences? She stepped forward towards Dr C, and raised her eyebrows a little. "Do you trust me?"
Chris looked at her skeptically. "And I'm Deleo. What's your point? I get more info from some of my patients in a ten minute conversation than Proctor has given me in however many weeks he has been here. I don't trust him, so why should he trust me? Proof is in the pudding. I don't see what I did as fucking up. I see it as a choice he just didn't agree with. If the patient had further complications, fine. I get it. But I'm still the Chief Resident and I still can make calls about my patients... especially the ones he doesn't even lay a hand on until they crash." He paused and let out a breath of frustration. "I'm starting to," he had to admit honestly. "Though after today, I'm wavering a little. It's unnverving that we're meant to be a team, but I know for a fact Proctor is telling you more than he's telling the rest of us."
Serena reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear as she cleared her throat. "Maybe because I ask. Or because I'm just there when he feels honest. I don't know why he tells me more. I don't really ask for more, I just... ask. I don't want to lose your trust because of that. I'm not doing it to get on your bad side. I'm not on anyone's side but the team's. And maybe the patients' when I'm not stabbing them in the lung."
Chris pressed his lips together and finally sat down on his sofa. "I wasn't talking about taking sides or who is on whose side of the fence. That didn't even cross my mind. All I'm saying is that his idea of trust seems to be in a whole other realm to mine. And that's fine. I'll rock up to work tomorrow and roll with whatever he wants. That's the shiney happy pants he gets to wear being the boss. But you know what, Serena? You're going to make mistakes, and owning up to them is probably an admirable quality. But at the same time, I've been taught to learn how to wear them without wetting my pants for days when I do," he told her, looking up at her pointedly, raising his eyebrows to see if she was going to get it. "One day, you'll be flying solo, could even be heading your own team. Who do you go to then if you make a mistake? You don't. You build up the guts to wear it yourself, with support from your friends."
Serena nodded slowly before she set her bag down and took a seat next to Chris. She pulled her legs up under her, her knees resting against his thighs as she sat close to him. Her eyes held his gaze before she leaned in to brush her lips against his cheek. "Thank you for the support," she murmured. "I'm just sorry I'm such a perfectionist that I can't notice it. I didn't mean to land you in the naughty corner. I still can't believe he just sent you home."
"I'm more pissed off he didn't let me follow through with my patients. As if they didn't have enough shit to worry about," Chris said, his lips pressing together in annoyance. "One other time in my work on the Alpha Team did I not follow through on my cases, and it was after I got smacked in the head by a patient and couldn't see straight. Oddly enough, I think Proctor's dressing down floored me more than that." He rested his head back on the sofa and looked at her. "You can make your own calls with Proctor from now on," he told her with a small laugh.
"Well, I am a big girl," Serena murmured with a smile. She reached out to touch her fingers to his head and tapped a fingertip against his forehead. "Feeling any effects of concussion now? Or maybe I need to kiss your ass better if you got floored that badly. The patients went okay, but I know you should have been there. It's hard not to see the end of a case through. To see the people you start to get investing in come good."
On the beach and in his M&M missile period, Chris had actually been doing a lot of thinking. On the face of it, he probably had the blank, stupid look down pat, but he had gone to the beach for a surf to give him thinking time. Then there was the damn fog and it sort of left him at a loss of what to do. Luckily Eva had come along and distracted him, or he probably would have just gotten increasingly frustrated and angry. Inevitably, though, considering all that had gone down, Serena had been a topic of much mulling in his brain. "Maybe we shouldn't be doing this," he finally replied to her.
Serena pulled her hand back as she looked at him. "Oh. I... If it's what you want," she said quietly. She couldn't deny that Chris had been on her mind, and the sex thing had been a factor in her wondering why he'd lied to Proctor, but now she got it. She could understand that he had her back. She just couldn't understand why it meant they couldn't keep doing what they were doing. This kind of arrangement only fell down if people weren't on the same page, and talking let you stay on the same page.
Chris sighed and rested his head back against the chair again. "Do you know what Proctor said to me? He said I'm Chief Resident and not Chief Buddy, and it just... I don't know, made me stop and wonder if my professionalism has been going down the can lately. Maybe he has a point. The thing is, being anyone's buddy didn't even come into it. I did it because I personally didn't think you fucked up so massively that we needed to get the boss involved. The patient was fine once we got the catheter in, he's still going to be fine. He also said he doesn't care about my methods." He paused and frowned. "Just makes me wonder why the hell I'm bothering. I'm there to be a surgeon and nothing else, evidently."
Serena tilted her head, and thought about pulling away from Chris even more but she stayed where she was. "You weren't being my buddy. I have buddies, and yeah, we're friends - we did cover that, but so what? I know you too, you know. Even if you like to think you're all mysterious, and don't pretend you don't. You're not as open book as you want people to think you are. I'm sure there's something else about you that you haven't shared. My point is this though, I know you wouldn't ever compromise your position, or your professionalism just for some chick, or some resident. Proctor should know better, too. None of what you're doing is going down the can. You're Dr C."
Chris held his hand up. "Oh whoa, whoa. Back the truck up there. When have I ever tried to be all mysterious? You're mistaking me for Proctor. I don't give a shit what anyone thinks about me, I haven't got anything to hide so please, please don't compare me to him with the mysterious thing. That's all that got me into this shit. If people want to know about me, they just have to ask. Just because I live my life at base level and boring things like being friends with my colleagues gives me pleasure in life doesn't make me an irresponsible asshole. I'm awesome at my job, and Proctor coming in trying to indicate I'm doing it wrong was always just going to piss me off. But it's his call, and I just can't help thinking that if he's already riding my back for this, what is he going to do when he finds out we're sleeping together?"
"So why do you have such a problem with luck?" Serena asked him as she held his gaze. "You don't think there's any kind of greater meaning to life sometimes? That some people are just meant to be alive, or something? I didn't say there was anything boring about your life, and I guess I don't mean Proctor kind of mysterious, but... There's just something. Maybe I'm bullshitting," she finally conceded with a shrug. "It has nothing to do with you and me. It has to do with his trust fetish remember? If it wasn't me, and you did it for another resident, or for even Zambrano... he'd have reacted the same way."
Chris gave a weird look. "Since when do I have a problem with luck? Because I don't believe it, that automatically makes me a weirdo? It's a simple fact of never having experienced it, so why should I just believe it exists? Let's just say I'm indifferent to it. If someone wants to believe they're lucky to get them through, all the pride to them. Maybe some people are lucky and others aren't. Shit happens. Of course there is something, you've only known me for four months. Do you want me to walk around naked to bare my soul? Case in point right there. Just because you haven't had first hand experience of the knowledge, doesn't mean it's not there. Sure, he would have, and he would react the same way if I was sleeping with them, too."
"But you've been a witness to it," Serena argued. "I know you're a good surgeon, but come on. Think about pole guy. That's just... not normal. We're good, but he had some luck to begin with. Surgeons can only do so much. I'm not sure I've ever experienced luck like that, but it makes me wonder." Serena twirled her hair around her fingers as she shifted to tuck her knees up under her chin. "Then we'll stop. I don't want to be a regret, or to cause you more trouble."
Chris shook his head. "That's top notch medicine. If he was so lucky, why didn't he pull the pole out himself, huh? Sometimes, in medicine, extraordinary things just happen. You get weird and wonderful cases come through, that's what makes it so awesome to do the job we do. To succeed in those last few minutes and save the guy's life. He didn't survive because he was lucky, he survived because surgeons pulled the dirty great pole out of him. If he was lucky, the pole wouldn't have even been there in the first place. The tumour was just, hell, you're a surgeon. You know we can find all sorts of things inside people when we open them up. An asymptomatic tumour isn't luck. Just so you know, I could argue this with you all day. No one is right or wrong, I just prefer to have more faith in medicine than luck because frankly, if my life is hanging in the balance, I'm gonna be hoping for an ambulance with good doctors at the end, not a star to wish upon or a penny to throw into a fountain." He growled softly in frustation and scratched his fingers through his hair. "I don't know what to do, Serena. I just don't."
Serena pressed her lips together and couldn't help but smile. "And I'd let you argue with me about it all day. I don't pretend to understand Proctor, I really don't, but sometimes he has a point. Sometimes our patients have a point. The guy shouldn't have been a father, but he was. He shouldn't have survived the pole, but he did. Maybe it's not luck, but it's something. We believe in science, and we believe in medicine. Doesn't mean there isn't anything else out there taking care of the other side of people's lives." She pulled her mouth to the side as she glanced away, taking a quick look out at the sky from Chris' window. She looked back at him before leaning forward to take his face in her hands and kiss him. "I don't want to stop," she murmured against his lips.
"Actually, medicine doesn't say he shouldn't have been a father, it said he had a low sperm count, not no count at all. Still a chance, still not medically possible not to conceive. If he shouldn't have survived the pole, he'd be dead," Chris added pointedly. "It's med-i-cine. Sometimes it's amazing, other times it's not and we lose the patient. I'm not going to buy the luck thing. It's like religion, to each his own." He paused again and looked over her face, raising his eyebows. "Not sure I can if you don't do yoga," he finally joked with a smirk.
"Actually I do do yoga. I can be quite flexible. You just haven't had proper opportunity to find out," she revealed with a wink. "It's good for breathing, and releasing tension when there's no other outlet. Helps clear my head when the med-i-cine starts to clog it up."
Chris smirked, raising his chin a little. "Oh really? You know, guys have a whole other theory on tension releasing tactics..." He shifted a little closer to her and tugged teasingly on the hem of her shirt. "Nothing at all to do with saluting any suns, unless it's a metaphor." He breached the gap between them and caught her lips with his, keeping it light at first before taking the lead and letting the kiss deepen.
Serena's moan was lost in his mouth and she shifted to get her arms and legs around Chris so that they could be closer. She ran her hand down his back, and pushed up under his shirt so she could feel his warm skin, and the muscles working beneath it. Even like this she couldn't help running through some anatomy in her head, the habit a subconscious one now she was a surgeon. She pulled him down on top of her, breathless as the kiss eased off. "I think you might have to show me more about the male perspective on releasing tactics, Dr C. Just to make sure I have it right."
It was probably good Chris didn't know she was thinking about anatomy right then or he would have to stop to inevitably pull the piss out of her. No one ever said he had a huge attention span. He settled between her legs, a hand starting to explore over the planes of her torso to her ass, which he gave a soft squeeze. "I don't know about that. What happens when you get an urge to run to Proctor about my teaching methods?" he joked, nipping at her lower lip and drawing it between his teeth to start kissing her slowly again while he found the buttons of her shirt, flicking them open with ease.
Serena looked up at him as she arched her back, and tried to kick off her heels so that she wouldn't hurt him or get caught in them on the sofa. Her fingers curled around the hem of his shirt and this time she started to tug it up his back in an effort to get him out of it. The sooner he was without it the better. Chris had a damn fine body, and Serena may or may not have had a hankering to see him in action on a surfboard. "There might be an interesting follow up session with him offering pointers while he observes. Or who knows, maybe he'll spank you." She kissed him back, matching his slow pace as she just revelled in the feel of him on top of her again.
Chris stopped and pulled back a little as he started to laugh. "Are you trying to give me a boner or prevent me from ever getting one again?" he asked her and rose up on his knees, sitting straddled over her to he could pull his t-shirt off and fling it onto the floor. "I don't ever want to think about Proctor and spanking in the same vicinity ever again, letting alone spanking my ass." He had her shirt open, flicking the edges out of the way to expose her slim body and cute little lacy purple bra. "Purple?" he teased and then leaned forward to trace over the curve of her cleavage with the tip of his tongue.
Serena grinned as she reached out to smack her hand against his ass before hooking her fingers into the waistband of his pants. "Alright, no Proctor, no spanking... again. Just you and me, and my purple bra. And yes, purple. Something wrong with that colour? I don't think the most important part of you is complaining." Serena cupped his crotch and gave it a squeeze as she let out a shuddering breath at the feel of his tongue. "Oh, God..."
"It never does," Chris returned as he continued to press soft kisses over the swell of her breast. His hand snaked under her back and he had the bra undone with the skill only surgeons hands could afford... and his right one, too. That was talent. He rolled his hips forward against her hand and smiled against her skin as his lips found her nipple. His tongue had it hardened to a delicious peak, but then he was kissing his way back up her throat to her lips, smirking against them. "I told Eva about us," he revealed, half of him waiting to see how she would react while the other half was focused solely on her gorgeous and petite body beneath him.
Serena hummed happily, arching her back to encourage the attention to her breasts as she rubbed the heel of her palm against his cock before she started to work on getting the fly undone. Just the idea of touching him again had her wet, and ready to be ridden into oblivion. She brushed her fingers against his hip dents when she got his pants down a little of the way and hooked a leg tightly around his hip as she lifted her lower body up to rub against him. She froze a second later though, her arousal faltering for just a moment. "You... huh?"
Chris looked down between them so he could start undoing the buttons on her jeans. "Ah huh," he confirmed huskily. "Just had this... urge to come clean. Seems to be a lot of that going around lately." He slipped his hand into the jeans once he had the fly open, sliding his fingers between her legs, not faltering in his attentions at all. He felt like he was sparking with arousal now, all the energy he had previously poured into sulking about his crap day now being focused on getting laid again.
"Clean..." Serena was unable to stop from thinking about what it would be like to have shower sex with Chris. She was shuddering again at just the idea, lifting her hips up against his fingers to increase the friction. "So there's an us," she finally added after a let out a breathy moan. She held his gaze as she finally slipped her hand past the waistband of his pants, her slender fingers wrapping around his cock as she started to mimic his rhythm. Her lips parted, already swollen from the kissing, and she slid her tongue over them. "You don't think she'll tell you-know-who?"
"She might do just that," Chris conceded through a rough exhalation when he felt her fingers around his cock. He let his head fall forward for a moment, thrusting softly against her hand to encourage her ministrations, but he was smirking to himself as he remembered just how the conversation with Eva had gone down. "She thinks he might want a threesome with us." He kept his weight braced on his knees so he could use his other hand to start tugging her jeans down over her hips, not willing to let them be a road block for too long. Where were scrubs when you needed them?
Serena wriggled under him, trying to help him get her jeans off faster even if she was just trying to do it through the power of her mind. She used her free hand to pull him back in for another kiss, her tongue pulsing against his as it matched the strokes of her hand along his length. "I can't see him... agreeing," she murmured between pants. "And I have to admit that I'm not sure I'm ready to share with anyone else like that. Jesus, Chris... I want you."
"Halle-fucking-lujah, because if you want me to keep it up, you better stop talking about Proctor, stat..." Chris got out through a breathless groan against her lips as he deepened the kiss, more than happy to block out the days events buried balls deep inside her, no matter how inappropriate Proctor thought it was to have secrets between colleagues.