just_muse_me | 28.2.3. Business before pleasure
Co-written with geniuscowboy
[Follows THIS]
Chris would say it was 'one of those days' if every day of his life wasn't technically 'one of those days'. It was the nature of the job for everything to potentially explode with the next income, and although it had been a quiet morning, lunchtime brought in three victims on a boat crash that had the Alpha team once again run off their feet. It was over now, and although the crash had one fatality on impact, they were able to save the other three patients, who were now stable and responding to treatment. It was late afternoon now, and a well-deserved break had finally come. Chris sauntered across the lunch green lawn of the courtyard, coffee and a chicken sandwich in hand. He needed some fresh air, food and caffeine to recharge the stamina, and always having been an outdoorsy guy, the hospital courtyard was the next best thing at hand to the beach on a surfboard.
When he spotted their young rookie sitting on the grass a short distance away, Chris smirked, still amused at the online conversation they had shared earlier in the day during the lull. He breached the gap between them and dropped down onto the grass beside her without waiting for an invitation, squinting a little in the sunlight which was slowly approaching dusk. "Saved by the bell, huh?" he commented, shooting her an amused look. He laid back on the grass, resting on his elbows and let his legs stretch out in from of him, watching the passing crowd on the footpath at the edge of the courtyard.
Serena had been lost in her own thoughts by the time Dr C had approached, her mouth pulled to the side as she contemplated a spot in the distance and tried to find her happy place; some Zen getaway to just give her mind a break while there was a chance. He had been right - in between the talk of his huevos - about her needing a way to just chill. Most of the time she could actually manage. It wasn't like she was completely new to all this. Her three month survival and the wake left from Reiner's naked mental break just seemed to be making her question her own sanity, and how she handled being a trauma surgeon. She didn't want to wash out, she didn't want to lose it. She just wanted to make sure she stayed grounded, and focusing on the patients did help with that.
There were just days where it seemed never ending, though. And unfortunately, at the hospital it wasn't like she could just grab some wine, pour a bath, and soak in the tub. Maybe even enjoy some sex and a snuggle. Which brought her mind full circle to Dr C and his balls, and the appointment they were supposed to have in Trauma 3. She tilted her head as she smiled, her eyes focusing first on his face before she let them drift down his body. "Lucky for you," she replied.
Chris raised his eyebrows and then laughed as he shifted onto his side, leaning on one elbow so he could work on snapping the lid off his coffee with his free hand. "And why is that? Did you plan on sticking an IV pole up my butt for some medical kink?" he joked and then took a sip of the latte, licking the soft foam off his lips as he swallowed. He tilted his head back, letting the sun prick his skin and give him a boost. "I'm not buying you would have gone through with it anyway," he added, opening his eyes again and looking at her in amusement.
"Not an IV pole, no. But there may have been latex gloves involved." Serena grinned as she reached up to let her hair down now she was no longer operating. The blonde locks fell around her face and shoulders, and she shifted to lie down next to Dr C. Her empty salad container was next to her, her lunch wolfed down the second she was out here. There was no denying that this job was at least good for working up an appetite. She rest her head in her hand and looked back at him. "You really don't have much faith in me, do you? It's a real shame. Girl comes up against impressions like that, and it makes her wonder what she's doing wrong."
Chris shook his head and moved on to his sandwich. His stomach had been growling demandingly for over an hour now, and he was wondering if he should have taken that ham and tomato sandwich from the vending machine too. "You're in gloves all day and you want to have sex in them? Maybe you really are screwed in the head," he teased, giving her a small wink. He bit into the sandwich, needing to pause the conversation to get some food into him and he chewed thoughtfully before swallowing and pointing at her with the sandwich. "I just don't think any resident would risk their position three months into the residency by having sex in a dirty great trauma suite with glass walls when we could get incoming at any minute."
Serena watched him before her eyebrows rose slightly. "So it was a test? Are you going to report me or something? I mean, no resident should be risking their residency to fuck an attending anyway. I think I'm screwed in the head, and maybe just a little self-sabotaging to boot. Guess it really was a good thing we got hit with those incoming otherwise I'd probably be well and truly knee deep in a shit pile. You're not worried about risking your position having sex in the same trauma suite?"
Chris laughed, even if he was making sure he didn't drop any of his precious chicken onto the grass. "Report you? Serena, chill out. It's okay to be on the edge in the OR, but you need to just chill out a bit. It's okay to have a laugh now and again. Self-sabotaging. You got that right. I wasn't intending on having sex in the trauma suite. I was winding you up," he admitted with a small shrug. "Trying to get you to not take things so personally."
Her eyebrows drew together as she stared at his mouth for a moment. "So... teasing me about sex, offering sex, then renegging on sex is not supposed to be something I take personally? Are you usually used to dealing with fembots, or Dr Zambrano? Because the female stock that I come from could seriously take that personally. But okay, I'm chilling." She flopped onto her back as she stared up at the cloudless sky. "So you really wouldn't ever... you know?"
Chris was already finishing off the next generous bite of his lunch... or dinner. He wasn't sure, he had lost track of what meal he was supposed to be up to because he tended to miss so many of them. "I evidently drastically mistook the notion that you might have realised I was actually kidding. No more teasing or joking about sex from here on in, though. I don't want to be slapped with a sexual harrassment suit." He analysed a huge blob of mayonaise in the next part of his sandwich, contemplating whether to wipe it off or not. "Would I ever... you know? With you?" he asked. "Because I've actually 'you knowed' quite a lot in my life already."
"Yeah, with me." Serena scrunched her face up as she lifted her arms up over her head and arched her back in a stretch as she tried to work out the kinks. She turned her head to look up at him. "So I figured. It's not like you're ugly, and you said yourself you prefer the single life. I can't exactly see you sitting at home knitting. And it's okay, you can joke or tease, or whatever. I'm not uptight, I swear. Just find it a little hard sometimes to know when you are joking, I guess. Still learning to read you."
"Hey, I might have a tea cosy fetish. Go home and sit around with my knitting needles, channelling Nana," Chris laughed. He stretched his legs a little, but his feet were starting to get that interesting burn from being on them so much. "The only time I'm probably incapable of having a laugh or a joke is when I have a crashing patient on the table in front of me. Hell, sometimes you even need to actually have a joke or a laugh with the patient. It's just perspective. I'm not saying I wouldn't, I'm just saying I wouldn't on shift in a public place. Perspective," he repeated and batted a bug away before it made an attempt to dive-bomb into his coffee.
Serena laughed at the mental image that popped into her head as she covered her mouth. "Oh God, please don't mention you and tea cosies ever again... Sure you're not just trying to channel a perverted version of Dr Proctor?" She tried to slow down the laughter, her body almost trembling from the act. "Well, sure. I think anyone's sense of humour tends to fly out the window at a moment like that. There are appropriate moments for humour, that's not one of them. Okay, so if there was, say, a wall outside of the hospital in down time?"
Chris raised his eyebrows as he finished the first half of his sandwich. Somehow, his gut was still rumbling though. "How do you know he doesn't just walk around naked at home in nothing but a tea cosy? He might. He might live in a commune, or he might breed Mexican Walking Fish. He might have eight wives. He might give perverted a whole new name," he pointed out to her, still niggled over the way they knew absolutely nothing about their new boss beyond the fact he was English and ex-Army. He looked at her and then laughed. "Are you hitting on me, Dr Warren?"
Serena's eyes drifted back to the sky as she thought about Dr Proctor walking around his home naked an in a tea cosy. "Well, at least he's not doing that through the middle of the bull pen. What a man does in the privacy of his own home is completely his business. And there's nothing wrong with Mexican Walking Fish. We used to have a pet one in my class in middle school. It was actually kinda cute in an amphibious way. He's not blue beard..." She pressed her lips together as she fought a smirk at the way the English doctor was still getting under Dr C's skin. It was the first time she'd seen him bothered since she started with Alpha team. "I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about, Dr C."
"You're awfully defensive of him. I'm going to start wondering if you're keeping his secrets for him," Chris told her with a smirk. "Did you give him your own personal Maimi welcome? Is this where the whole wall thing came from? I'm not sure coy suits you after you just got shirty that I - what was it? - renegged on sex?" He made the mistake of relaxing back just a little too much and found himself stifling a yawn, closely followed by another one. It would be unlikely he did anything else that night other than go home and crash in bed.
"Maybe I'm just trying to keep mysterious? It's not easy having all these attendings and now a new boss to keep up with. Gotta show my huevos at some point. And no, it wasn't by welcoming him personally. Maybe I'm just not as suspicious as him? I mean, he did let me help reattach a hand. That was pretty freakin' cool, you know." Serena shrugged from her spot on a grass before she heaved out a sigh. "Okay, truth? Yes, I was. Is that weird?"
Chris was still snickering at her. "All these attendings? You have two, and now a new boss. Oh, and you have Tuck. Do you realise that we're actually a small medical team. Be thankful you aren't in the ER where you have to contend with directions from eight different doctors five other residents and enough nurses to keep you in bedpans for a year. Constantly fighting for the spotlight to learn. That's when you have something to worry about. Here, you're always part of the team, you're always hands on, and you always only have one person calling the shots. It's like the Ferrari of Residencies. Sit back, flick the radio on and enjoy the ride," he advised, once again enjoying the warmth of the sun on his face, his eyes slipping closed in the brightness. "You were shirty I renegged on sex that was only a joke in the first place? Okay, talking of perspective here, I wouldn't do our resident at work, on shift. And before you get your delicate knickers in a twist, I'm senior to you, I'm technically a form of boss. I'm your teacher. It would have been inappropriate to have sex with you in an professional environment. So no pouting. You'll get wrinkles."
"If I get wrinkles I'll just have to switch to Plastics and get some botox, or something." Serena rolled onto her side again so she could watch Dr C. She couldn't deny it was kind of sweet seeing him enjoy the sun like this. It was also easier to study him quietly. "My 'knickers'? You really are taking notes from Dr Proctor, aren't you? It's cute. Well, my knickers are twist free. And not because I wear a g-string. Fuck that. I wear sensible panties. I don't need my ass flashed over the ER. Point about the form of boss thing, I wouldn't have condoned the inappropriate sex thing. You still haven't answered my question about non-workplace sex. Consider it a hypothetical. Somewhere between a joke, and a real question. I won't pout about the answer either. This is me cruising down the highway of my awesome residency and just taking a time out to talk to one of two attendings in a frank manner."
Chris opened his eyes again, looking at her strangely. "Does he own the word knickers, does he? What are you going to tell me next, that he's God? James Bond? Actually, I could buy the James Bond thing. That has credence. He's CIA and here undercover. Explains why they let him operate before he even had his HR paperwork completed. He pulled 007 strings. I like a girl who can get in touch with her inner Bridget Jones. Of course, I also still get a thrill up my spine when I find a nice little lacy pair of sheer panties with rose buds or something. I am still a dude. And I did, I asked if you were hitting on me. You didn't answer me. C'mon, Dr. Warren. Does a bear shit in the woods? Of course I would hypothetically sleep with you. Do I look like a Monk?"
Serena smirked. "Oh yes, he does. He's probably also going to own every female doctor's and nurse's knickers by the end of the week. Just saying. It's the accent, and the salt and pepper colouring. Makes him look distinguished. Plus he still does look good in a pair of jeans," she had to admit with a slightly wistful sigh. "007? Well, I guess you'll just have to ask him if he likes it shaken, not stirred. That might answer one of the questions. Maybe he's just an English cowboy hence the operating. Would you have waited?" Serena hooked her thumb in her waistband and pulled it down enough to expose the rosebud panties, they just weren't sheer. "Well, at least I got it half right. Next time I'll remember the sheer. Even if you do look like a ruggedly handsome surfer Monk. And yes, I was hitting on you. Happy?"
Chris scrunched his nose up with a small snort of a laugh. "Okay, so let me get this straight," he began, as he scooped the next half of his sandwich from the plastic packaging. "You have a crush on Proctor and his salt and pepper... jeans? But you're trying to get into my pants? Are you deliberately making me feel like sloppy seconds? I'm not even going to try and analyse the English cowboy comment. Besides it being too late in the day, England doesn't have cowboys. At least, they shouldn't. They have... I dunno... knights and royalty and shit. Scones and Doctor Who. I thought you said you wore practical knickers?"
Serena flicked her scrub pants back up and gave a small shake of her head as she laughed herself. "Hey, every girl is entitled to crush on an older guy once in a while. And I mean, older. Not like you older. It's like having a crush on a high school teacher. You're never going to act on it, you don't really want in his pants. It's just a thing. I'm not trying to make you feel like sloppy seconds, I'm trying to be honest. I'm trying for no secrets. Well, not those kinds of secrets. Laying my knickers on the line since you're the one with the huevos. And sheer can be practical. Anything that doesn't ride up my ass is practical."
Chris looked over her face curiously. "What kind of secrets do you have, Dr Warren?" he asked her intently. He cleared his throat and shrugged. "To look at it practically, you know us sleeping together probably wouldn't be the best idea, right? These walls have eyes, ears, noses, and probably CCTV in places we could only dream of. I doubt anyone can pick their noses or fart without someone else finding out about it on the other side of the department. We're Alpha, we're watched. That's the lay of the land."
Serena held her hand up with her palm facing him. "It was just a suggestion. I realise we'll probably be outed before the condom even comes off. Hell, I'm waiting for this conversation to be broadcast for the patients' amusement. Just figured I'd ask. And my secrets... are my secrets. I told you before they aren't too exciting. They'd probably just send you into a fit of boredom."
"I don't believe you," Chris said with a smirk. "You know what they say about those who protest the loudest. You have secrets. We all do. I don't doubt we all have a good working relationship, but we don't exactly ever get a chance to get to know each other on that deeper level. And who knows, maybe it's time we did? It was different with Reiner. A different focus. I don't know where the cards are going to fall with Proctor, and although that is unnerving, I can't say I'm opposed to the shake up or the change. I say bring it on. It can't get worse that losing a boss to the loony bin."
"I guess it depends on the kind of relationships you want at work. Once you get deeper, there's no shaking those people out of your lives." Serena rolled onto her stomach as she kicked her leg up into the air and started to pluck at the grass. "Oh, I don't know. I think maybe losing a second boss to the loony bin could be worse. Don't you?"
Chris raised an eyebrow. "Is that your passive-aggressive way of telling me you don't want anything to do with us beyond work? To each his own. But we're together a minium of forty-eight hours a week. Like it or not, we're going to impact on each other's lives in some capacity. It's just whether you want that to be strictly professional or something else. Eva and I, we're mates, but I don't know all that much about her private life and she doesn't know all that much about mine and we've worked together three years. You get into the habit of just going through the motions, living to work. Clock off, clock on. Save lives. Go home, sleep, eat, come back again. Maybe someone needs to break that mould? Maybe someone already has."
"No, it wasn't. I was just talking generally. I have no problem letting you guys into my life beyond work. I was the one that was just trying to talk you into sex, remember? That's not exactly a passive-aggressive way of telling you to stay out, is it? I wouldn't mind knowing more, but I just figured it wasn't really my place. I am still just the resident. I don't want to go through the motions. The motions killed my goldfish. I don't want to get stuck in a rut."
"Now I'm just wondering how someone like you has trouble finding sex. Or has the life of Miami Trauma made you blase about taking care of the finer vices of life?" Chris asked her with a smile. "The sooner you stop thinking of yourself as 'just the resident' the better, you know. We were all there at one point, we all had to learn from someone else. We all want to teach you. You're no less a part of the team than I am. If you don't want to be stuck in a rut, get out of it. Sooner rather than later, or it will eat you alive and before you know it, you'll forget how to have fun."
Serena reached out to shove him in the chest when she was sure he wouldn't lose any of sandwich. It wasn't like she didn't understand how important food was. "I was trying to get out of my rut! You just pointed out the practicalities of not pursuing that particular route. I have trouble because I'm not always in the mood after a shift to go pick up. I'd rather just be home and he's there, and I can get it on, then go to sleep. I really am happy to be taught by you all, I promise. Sometimes it's just hard to shake the resident mind set."
Chris laughed, setting his sandwich down again. "Hey, you aren't wanting much, are you? Mail Order Fuck," he said in amusement. "Is he supposed to be a mind reader and not leave the toilet seat up, too? Cook a perfect breakfast, and keep the car tuned? If you find the dude, let me know. He might have a sister. Just find a balance, that's all I'm saying. No one has the right or wrong answers. You need to find your own niche and mojo in this. We can teach you the medicine, but you need to seek out your own path." He paused, tilting his head. "Shit, I sound like Yoda."
"Yeah, but better looking," she replied with an amused snort. "I don't need him to do anything else. I don't need him to leave the toilet seat up. That takes like a second to just put back down. I'm not exactly a prissy lady. I deal with body fluids day in and day out. I think I can handle seeing some pee on the rim. I can also get my own car tuned. All I'm asking for is some mutual fun. And a way to help find the balance. I will work on finding both the balance and the path okay, Yoda?"
Chris looked at her closely and cleared his throat. "And you think I might be the answer to that, huh?" he asked her. "That because we're in the same boat, we can maybe get it rocking in some sort of rhythm? What if I have a girlfriend?"
Serena blinked. "But you said you liked being single. Had been single for a while. Are you not single? Because I'm not... if you have a girlfriend I definitely don't want any kind of boat rocking. However, yeah, I guess that's what I was thinking. Other surgeons get it. Sometimes the 9-5ers just don't understand our schedule."
"They should try nine to nine and then come bitch about long hours," Chris agreed. He finished off his sandwich, but was still hungry as he swallowed the last mouthful. He felt cheated, and a little like he wanted to run through the McDonalds drive-thru on the way home... if he didn't ride a bicycle. "I don't have a girlfriend, but that's my point. We don't know anything about each other. You've got to admit, I could have. Hell, I could have even been married and you might not have known. Trauma surgeon, can't wear a ring to work. For the record, I'm not married either. Never really found the one. I'm just surprised you would want to play with fire like that."
"Well, you don't know much about me, do you? It's entirely possible that I'm some death wish ridden emo goth outside these walls, and you wouldn't know. I'm not, but that's my point. Look, you don't have to say yes. I'm not actually trying to press it, just saying that I was just asking and trying to break the mould a little. It's playing with fire, but who knows... Maybe we can be careful, and we can get away with it. It's not a relationship. I'm not looking for PDAs and love notes."
Chris was now back with his coffee, glad that their pagers hadn't gone off and their break was actually a substantial one. And eye-opening. "You know, once you sleep with someone, the dynamic changes. No going back once you've seen each other naked... and I still have to be that semi-boss teacher of yours. Would you be alright with that?" he asked.
Serena gave a nod. "Of course. I actually like you being my semi-boss teacher. You'd just be the semi-boss teacher that I'd see naked sometimes."
"Ohhhhhhhhh," Chris began with a laugh, watching her cheekily over the top of his coffee cup. "It's sometimes now, is it? We're getting into the plural. And there I was thinking it was just a one off thing you were nudging towards. See naked sometimes... hm..." He sipped his coffee which was cooling a little now and glanced over at her. "We're not talking exclusivity here, are we?"
Serena had the decency to look sheepish for a moment before she just shrugged. "Surgeons with benefits? And no, we're not. I don't think either of us are in a position to promise that, are we? Besides, we don't even know if we'll like kissing each other. For all we know, we get to the moment and there's just no spark."
There was no hesitation when Chris shook his head, lips pressed together momentarily. "I gave up making promises a long time ago. On that level, anyway. It's a good habit to get into when you work in trauma. You make promises to your patients that you don't know you can keep, then it will be a one-way ticket to the loony bin. Kissing, huh? Guess we're just going to have to ride on that suspense for now. You've had a lot of experience of getting to the moment with no spark, have you?"
Serena pointed a finger at him as she stuck her tongue in the corner of her mouth briefly. "That is a lesson I made sure to remember early on. I just think it's still easy to fall into a trap. Especially if you really care about the patient. It's hard to always stay objective, you know? But it's a fine line to walk when you still want to not treat them like meat, and not give them false hope. So you're saying... yes? I think I've had more than I care to admit."
"Of course it is," Chris agreed, his forehead creasing a little as he squinted in the bright sunlight. "It's a trap I've fallen into more times than I care to admit. Parents to kids... an expectant mom... a kid whose dad had just been in a building collapse. They stick with you, somewhere deep inside. You get cases that you don't forget and that you end up using to learn from, but you still see their faces sometimes, when you get patients come in with similar things. It's just human nature. It's easy to get too confident and make promises." He finished off his coffee, and looked over at her, another hint of a smirk appearing. "I'm not saying no."
"Glad to know it's still something that can happen to even experienced trauma specialists. I honestly don't know how we can do this job without being affected. You really would have to be a robot, or a zombie, or something. Even with seperated hand guy there was something to personalise it. Aside from the apparent masturbation conversation." Serena rolled her eyes and laughed softly. "Well, that's something."
Chris shrugged. "We're only human. We're not cyborgs, even if some days I wish I was just to plug on that bit more, you know. The days you go home wrecked with a thumping headache." He smirked. "Eva told me about that, but hey, dude had a point. If you're gonna lose your hand, you don't want it to be your jerk off one. Some things are just sacred. No matter what anyone says, you can never quite get the same momentum with your other hand. All I'm saying is sleep on it, maybe. You might be just projecting after a long day. There's probably a fifty-fifty chance you'll wake up tomorrow and be all 'Holy shit, no way do I wanna bed Dr. C.'"
Serena arched an eyebrow at him. "So which one is your jerk off hand? Just so I know not to go for that one if I do wind up getting a scalpel out. Fine, I'll sleep on it. I'm just not going to be held accountable for what my jerk off hand will be doing."
"That's for me to know and you to find out, Dr. Warren," Chris returned with a cheeky smirk. He squashed the coffee cup into the empty sandwich container and snapped it closed again so he could toss it into the trash on his way back. "I wouldn't worry about that. If you go home tonight with the energy for that, you're not working hard enough," he joked just as his pager started to buzz on his hip. "Saved by the bell again. Maybe karma's against us."
Serena's pager went off a moment later and she rolled onto her back to get to her feet with a groan of protest. She might have still been young, but that didn't mean the hours and work didn't take their toll. "Personally it's probably just wishful thinking. I would love nothing more than to go home and have a nice dirty dream, but mostly I just pass straight out." She offered him her hand to help him up as she grinned. "Karma owes me, so it must be all your bad doing."
Chris' eyebrows rose as he read the page. "Hit and run? Ohh-kay then." He took her hand and pulled himself up with her help. He snapped the pager back onto his belt and grabbed up his trash. "What is with all the shootings and hit and runs lately? To think, I actually used to feel safe living in Miami once upon a time. Become a trauma surgeon and you can't help wonder if a truck will squish you on your ride to work each day. Karma your little Resident butt to the OR, Dr. Warren. You'll have to put the sex fantasies on hold for awhile."
Words: 5310
[Follows THIS]
Chris would say it was 'one of those days' if every day of his life wasn't technically 'one of those days'. It was the nature of the job for everything to potentially explode with the next income, and although it had been a quiet morning, lunchtime brought in three victims on a boat crash that had the Alpha team once again run off their feet. It was over now, and although the crash had one fatality on impact, they were able to save the other three patients, who were now stable and responding to treatment. It was late afternoon now, and a well-deserved break had finally come. Chris sauntered across the lunch green lawn of the courtyard, coffee and a chicken sandwich in hand. He needed some fresh air, food and caffeine to recharge the stamina, and always having been an outdoorsy guy, the hospital courtyard was the next best thing at hand to the beach on a surfboard.
When he spotted their young rookie sitting on the grass a short distance away, Chris smirked, still amused at the online conversation they had shared earlier in the day during the lull. He breached the gap between them and dropped down onto the grass beside her without waiting for an invitation, squinting a little in the sunlight which was slowly approaching dusk. "Saved by the bell, huh?" he commented, shooting her an amused look. He laid back on the grass, resting on his elbows and let his legs stretch out in from of him, watching the passing crowd on the footpath at the edge of the courtyard.
Serena had been lost in her own thoughts by the time Dr C had approached, her mouth pulled to the side as she contemplated a spot in the distance and tried to find her happy place; some Zen getaway to just give her mind a break while there was a chance. He had been right - in between the talk of his huevos - about her needing a way to just chill. Most of the time she could actually manage. It wasn't like she was completely new to all this. Her three month survival and the wake left from Reiner's naked mental break just seemed to be making her question her own sanity, and how she handled being a trauma surgeon. She didn't want to wash out, she didn't want to lose it. She just wanted to make sure she stayed grounded, and focusing on the patients did help with that.
There were just days where it seemed never ending, though. And unfortunately, at the hospital it wasn't like she could just grab some wine, pour a bath, and soak in the tub. Maybe even enjoy some sex and a snuggle. Which brought her mind full circle to Dr C and his balls, and the appointment they were supposed to have in Trauma 3. She tilted her head as she smiled, her eyes focusing first on his face before she let them drift down his body. "Lucky for you," she replied.
Chris raised his eyebrows and then laughed as he shifted onto his side, leaning on one elbow so he could work on snapping the lid off his coffee with his free hand. "And why is that? Did you plan on sticking an IV pole up my butt for some medical kink?" he joked and then took a sip of the latte, licking the soft foam off his lips as he swallowed. He tilted his head back, letting the sun prick his skin and give him a boost. "I'm not buying you would have gone through with it anyway," he added, opening his eyes again and looking at her in amusement.
"Not an IV pole, no. But there may have been latex gloves involved." Serena grinned as she reached up to let her hair down now she was no longer operating. The blonde locks fell around her face and shoulders, and she shifted to lie down next to Dr C. Her empty salad container was next to her, her lunch wolfed down the second she was out here. There was no denying that this job was at least good for working up an appetite. She rest her head in her hand and looked back at him. "You really don't have much faith in me, do you? It's a real shame. Girl comes up against impressions like that, and it makes her wonder what she's doing wrong."
Chris shook his head and moved on to his sandwich. His stomach had been growling demandingly for over an hour now, and he was wondering if he should have taken that ham and tomato sandwich from the vending machine too. "You're in gloves all day and you want to have sex in them? Maybe you really are screwed in the head," he teased, giving her a small wink. He bit into the sandwich, needing to pause the conversation to get some food into him and he chewed thoughtfully before swallowing and pointing at her with the sandwich. "I just don't think any resident would risk their position three months into the residency by having sex in a dirty great trauma suite with glass walls when we could get incoming at any minute."
Serena watched him before her eyebrows rose slightly. "So it was a test? Are you going to report me or something? I mean, no resident should be risking their residency to fuck an attending anyway. I think I'm screwed in the head, and maybe just a little self-sabotaging to boot. Guess it really was a good thing we got hit with those incoming otherwise I'd probably be well and truly knee deep in a shit pile. You're not worried about risking your position having sex in the same trauma suite?"
Chris laughed, even if he was making sure he didn't drop any of his precious chicken onto the grass. "Report you? Serena, chill out. It's okay to be on the edge in the OR, but you need to just chill out a bit. It's okay to have a laugh now and again. Self-sabotaging. You got that right. I wasn't intending on having sex in the trauma suite. I was winding you up," he admitted with a small shrug. "Trying to get you to not take things so personally."
Her eyebrows drew together as she stared at his mouth for a moment. "So... teasing me about sex, offering sex, then renegging on sex is not supposed to be something I take personally? Are you usually used to dealing with fembots, or Dr Zambrano? Because the female stock that I come from could seriously take that personally. But okay, I'm chilling." She flopped onto her back as she stared up at the cloudless sky. "So you really wouldn't ever... you know?"
Chris was already finishing off the next generous bite of his lunch... or dinner. He wasn't sure, he had lost track of what meal he was supposed to be up to because he tended to miss so many of them. "I evidently drastically mistook the notion that you might have realised I was actually kidding. No more teasing or joking about sex from here on in, though. I don't want to be slapped with a sexual harrassment suit." He analysed a huge blob of mayonaise in the next part of his sandwich, contemplating whether to wipe it off or not. "Would I ever... you know? With you?" he asked. "Because I've actually 'you knowed' quite a lot in my life already."
"Yeah, with me." Serena scrunched her face up as she lifted her arms up over her head and arched her back in a stretch as she tried to work out the kinks. She turned her head to look up at him. "So I figured. It's not like you're ugly, and you said yourself you prefer the single life. I can't exactly see you sitting at home knitting. And it's okay, you can joke or tease, or whatever. I'm not uptight, I swear. Just find it a little hard sometimes to know when you are joking, I guess. Still learning to read you."
"Hey, I might have a tea cosy fetish. Go home and sit around with my knitting needles, channelling Nana," Chris laughed. He stretched his legs a little, but his feet were starting to get that interesting burn from being on them so much. "The only time I'm probably incapable of having a laugh or a joke is when I have a crashing patient on the table in front of me. Hell, sometimes you even need to actually have a joke or a laugh with the patient. It's just perspective. I'm not saying I wouldn't, I'm just saying I wouldn't on shift in a public place. Perspective," he repeated and batted a bug away before it made an attempt to dive-bomb into his coffee.
Serena laughed at the mental image that popped into her head as she covered her mouth. "Oh God, please don't mention you and tea cosies ever again... Sure you're not just trying to channel a perverted version of Dr Proctor?" She tried to slow down the laughter, her body almost trembling from the act. "Well, sure. I think anyone's sense of humour tends to fly out the window at a moment like that. There are appropriate moments for humour, that's not one of them. Okay, so if there was, say, a wall outside of the hospital in down time?"
Chris raised his eyebrows as he finished the first half of his sandwich. Somehow, his gut was still rumbling though. "How do you know he doesn't just walk around naked at home in nothing but a tea cosy? He might. He might live in a commune, or he might breed Mexican Walking Fish. He might have eight wives. He might give perverted a whole new name," he pointed out to her, still niggled over the way they knew absolutely nothing about their new boss beyond the fact he was English and ex-Army. He looked at her and then laughed. "Are you hitting on me, Dr Warren?"
Serena's eyes drifted back to the sky as she thought about Dr Proctor walking around his home naked an in a tea cosy. "Well, at least he's not doing that through the middle of the bull pen. What a man does in the privacy of his own home is completely his business. And there's nothing wrong with Mexican Walking Fish. We used to have a pet one in my class in middle school. It was actually kinda cute in an amphibious way. He's not blue beard..." She pressed her lips together as she fought a smirk at the way the English doctor was still getting under Dr C's skin. It was the first time she'd seen him bothered since she started with Alpha team. "I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about, Dr C."
"You're awfully defensive of him. I'm going to start wondering if you're keeping his secrets for him," Chris told her with a smirk. "Did you give him your own personal Maimi welcome? Is this where the whole wall thing came from? I'm not sure coy suits you after you just got shirty that I - what was it? - renegged on sex?" He made the mistake of relaxing back just a little too much and found himself stifling a yawn, closely followed by another one. It would be unlikely he did anything else that night other than go home and crash in bed.
"Maybe I'm just trying to keep mysterious? It's not easy having all these attendings and now a new boss to keep up with. Gotta show my huevos at some point. And no, it wasn't by welcoming him personally. Maybe I'm just not as suspicious as him? I mean, he did let me help reattach a hand. That was pretty freakin' cool, you know." Serena shrugged from her spot on a grass before she heaved out a sigh. "Okay, truth? Yes, I was. Is that weird?"
Chris was still snickering at her. "All these attendings? You have two, and now a new boss. Oh, and you have Tuck. Do you realise that we're actually a small medical team. Be thankful you aren't in the ER where you have to contend with directions from eight different doctors five other residents and enough nurses to keep you in bedpans for a year. Constantly fighting for the spotlight to learn. That's when you have something to worry about. Here, you're always part of the team, you're always hands on, and you always only have one person calling the shots. It's like the Ferrari of Residencies. Sit back, flick the radio on and enjoy the ride," he advised, once again enjoying the warmth of the sun on his face, his eyes slipping closed in the brightness. "You were shirty I renegged on sex that was only a joke in the first place? Okay, talking of perspective here, I wouldn't do our resident at work, on shift. And before you get your delicate knickers in a twist, I'm senior to you, I'm technically a form of boss. I'm your teacher. It would have been inappropriate to have sex with you in an professional environment. So no pouting. You'll get wrinkles."
"If I get wrinkles I'll just have to switch to Plastics and get some botox, or something." Serena rolled onto her side again so she could watch Dr C. She couldn't deny it was kind of sweet seeing him enjoy the sun like this. It was also easier to study him quietly. "My 'knickers'? You really are taking notes from Dr Proctor, aren't you? It's cute. Well, my knickers are twist free. And not because I wear a g-string. Fuck that. I wear sensible panties. I don't need my ass flashed over the ER. Point about the form of boss thing, I wouldn't have condoned the inappropriate sex thing. You still haven't answered my question about non-workplace sex. Consider it a hypothetical. Somewhere between a joke, and a real question. I won't pout about the answer either. This is me cruising down the highway of my awesome residency and just taking a time out to talk to one of two attendings in a frank manner."
Chris opened his eyes again, looking at her strangely. "Does he own the word knickers, does he? What are you going to tell me next, that he's God? James Bond? Actually, I could buy the James Bond thing. That has credence. He's CIA and here undercover. Explains why they let him operate before he even had his HR paperwork completed. He pulled 007 strings. I like a girl who can get in touch with her inner Bridget Jones. Of course, I also still get a thrill up my spine when I find a nice little lacy pair of sheer panties with rose buds or something. I am still a dude. And I did, I asked if you were hitting on me. You didn't answer me. C'mon, Dr. Warren. Does a bear shit in the woods? Of course I would hypothetically sleep with you. Do I look like a Monk?"
Serena smirked. "Oh yes, he does. He's probably also going to own every female doctor's and nurse's knickers by the end of the week. Just saying. It's the accent, and the salt and pepper colouring. Makes him look distinguished. Plus he still does look good in a pair of jeans," she had to admit with a slightly wistful sigh. "007? Well, I guess you'll just have to ask him if he likes it shaken, not stirred. That might answer one of the questions. Maybe he's just an English cowboy hence the operating. Would you have waited?" Serena hooked her thumb in her waistband and pulled it down enough to expose the rosebud panties, they just weren't sheer. "Well, at least I got it half right. Next time I'll remember the sheer. Even if you do look like a ruggedly handsome surfer Monk. And yes, I was hitting on you. Happy?"
Chris scrunched his nose up with a small snort of a laugh. "Okay, so let me get this straight," he began, as he scooped the next half of his sandwich from the plastic packaging. "You have a crush on Proctor and his salt and pepper... jeans? But you're trying to get into my pants? Are you deliberately making me feel like sloppy seconds? I'm not even going to try and analyse the English cowboy comment. Besides it being too late in the day, England doesn't have cowboys. At least, they shouldn't. They have... I dunno... knights and royalty and shit. Scones and Doctor Who. I thought you said you wore practical knickers?"
Serena flicked her scrub pants back up and gave a small shake of her head as she laughed herself. "Hey, every girl is entitled to crush on an older guy once in a while. And I mean, older. Not like you older. It's like having a crush on a high school teacher. You're never going to act on it, you don't really want in his pants. It's just a thing. I'm not trying to make you feel like sloppy seconds, I'm trying to be honest. I'm trying for no secrets. Well, not those kinds of secrets. Laying my knickers on the line since you're the one with the huevos. And sheer can be practical. Anything that doesn't ride up my ass is practical."
Chris looked over her face curiously. "What kind of secrets do you have, Dr Warren?" he asked her intently. He cleared his throat and shrugged. "To look at it practically, you know us sleeping together probably wouldn't be the best idea, right? These walls have eyes, ears, noses, and probably CCTV in places we could only dream of. I doubt anyone can pick their noses or fart without someone else finding out about it on the other side of the department. We're Alpha, we're watched. That's the lay of the land."
Serena held her hand up with her palm facing him. "It was just a suggestion. I realise we'll probably be outed before the condom even comes off. Hell, I'm waiting for this conversation to be broadcast for the patients' amusement. Just figured I'd ask. And my secrets... are my secrets. I told you before they aren't too exciting. They'd probably just send you into a fit of boredom."
"I don't believe you," Chris said with a smirk. "You know what they say about those who protest the loudest. You have secrets. We all do. I don't doubt we all have a good working relationship, but we don't exactly ever get a chance to get to know each other on that deeper level. And who knows, maybe it's time we did? It was different with Reiner. A different focus. I don't know where the cards are going to fall with Proctor, and although that is unnerving, I can't say I'm opposed to the shake up or the change. I say bring it on. It can't get worse that losing a boss to the loony bin."
"I guess it depends on the kind of relationships you want at work. Once you get deeper, there's no shaking those people out of your lives." Serena rolled onto her stomach as she kicked her leg up into the air and started to pluck at the grass. "Oh, I don't know. I think maybe losing a second boss to the loony bin could be worse. Don't you?"
Chris raised an eyebrow. "Is that your passive-aggressive way of telling me you don't want anything to do with us beyond work? To each his own. But we're together a minium of forty-eight hours a week. Like it or not, we're going to impact on each other's lives in some capacity. It's just whether you want that to be strictly professional or something else. Eva and I, we're mates, but I don't know all that much about her private life and she doesn't know all that much about mine and we've worked together three years. You get into the habit of just going through the motions, living to work. Clock off, clock on. Save lives. Go home, sleep, eat, come back again. Maybe someone needs to break that mould? Maybe someone already has."
"No, it wasn't. I was just talking generally. I have no problem letting you guys into my life beyond work. I was the one that was just trying to talk you into sex, remember? That's not exactly a passive-aggressive way of telling you to stay out, is it? I wouldn't mind knowing more, but I just figured it wasn't really my place. I am still just the resident. I don't want to go through the motions. The motions killed my goldfish. I don't want to get stuck in a rut."
"Now I'm just wondering how someone like you has trouble finding sex. Or has the life of Miami Trauma made you blase about taking care of the finer vices of life?" Chris asked her with a smile. "The sooner you stop thinking of yourself as 'just the resident' the better, you know. We were all there at one point, we all had to learn from someone else. We all want to teach you. You're no less a part of the team than I am. If you don't want to be stuck in a rut, get out of it. Sooner rather than later, or it will eat you alive and before you know it, you'll forget how to have fun."
Serena reached out to shove him in the chest when she was sure he wouldn't lose any of sandwich. It wasn't like she didn't understand how important food was. "I was trying to get out of my rut! You just pointed out the practicalities of not pursuing that particular route. I have trouble because I'm not always in the mood after a shift to go pick up. I'd rather just be home and he's there, and I can get it on, then go to sleep. I really am happy to be taught by you all, I promise. Sometimes it's just hard to shake the resident mind set."
Chris laughed, setting his sandwich down again. "Hey, you aren't wanting much, are you? Mail Order Fuck," he said in amusement. "Is he supposed to be a mind reader and not leave the toilet seat up, too? Cook a perfect breakfast, and keep the car tuned? If you find the dude, let me know. He might have a sister. Just find a balance, that's all I'm saying. No one has the right or wrong answers. You need to find your own niche and mojo in this. We can teach you the medicine, but you need to seek out your own path." He paused, tilting his head. "Shit, I sound like Yoda."
"Yeah, but better looking," she replied with an amused snort. "I don't need him to do anything else. I don't need him to leave the toilet seat up. That takes like a second to just put back down. I'm not exactly a prissy lady. I deal with body fluids day in and day out. I think I can handle seeing some pee on the rim. I can also get my own car tuned. All I'm asking for is some mutual fun. And a way to help find the balance. I will work on finding both the balance and the path okay, Yoda?"
Chris looked at her closely and cleared his throat. "And you think I might be the answer to that, huh?" he asked her. "That because we're in the same boat, we can maybe get it rocking in some sort of rhythm? What if I have a girlfriend?"
Serena blinked. "But you said you liked being single. Had been single for a while. Are you not single? Because I'm not... if you have a girlfriend I definitely don't want any kind of boat rocking. However, yeah, I guess that's what I was thinking. Other surgeons get it. Sometimes the 9-5ers just don't understand our schedule."
"They should try nine to nine and then come bitch about long hours," Chris agreed. He finished off his sandwich, but was still hungry as he swallowed the last mouthful. He felt cheated, and a little like he wanted to run through the McDonalds drive-thru on the way home... if he didn't ride a bicycle. "I don't have a girlfriend, but that's my point. We don't know anything about each other. You've got to admit, I could have. Hell, I could have even been married and you might not have known. Trauma surgeon, can't wear a ring to work. For the record, I'm not married either. Never really found the one. I'm just surprised you would want to play with fire like that."
"Well, you don't know much about me, do you? It's entirely possible that I'm some death wish ridden emo goth outside these walls, and you wouldn't know. I'm not, but that's my point. Look, you don't have to say yes. I'm not actually trying to press it, just saying that I was just asking and trying to break the mould a little. It's playing with fire, but who knows... Maybe we can be careful, and we can get away with it. It's not a relationship. I'm not looking for PDAs and love notes."
Chris was now back with his coffee, glad that their pagers hadn't gone off and their break was actually a substantial one. And eye-opening. "You know, once you sleep with someone, the dynamic changes. No going back once you've seen each other naked... and I still have to be that semi-boss teacher of yours. Would you be alright with that?" he asked.
Serena gave a nod. "Of course. I actually like you being my semi-boss teacher. You'd just be the semi-boss teacher that I'd see naked sometimes."
"Ohhhhhhhhh," Chris began with a laugh, watching her cheekily over the top of his coffee cup. "It's sometimes now, is it? We're getting into the plural. And there I was thinking it was just a one off thing you were nudging towards. See naked sometimes... hm..." He sipped his coffee which was cooling a little now and glanced over at her. "We're not talking exclusivity here, are we?"
Serena had the decency to look sheepish for a moment before she just shrugged. "Surgeons with benefits? And no, we're not. I don't think either of us are in a position to promise that, are we? Besides, we don't even know if we'll like kissing each other. For all we know, we get to the moment and there's just no spark."
There was no hesitation when Chris shook his head, lips pressed together momentarily. "I gave up making promises a long time ago. On that level, anyway. It's a good habit to get into when you work in trauma. You make promises to your patients that you don't know you can keep, then it will be a one-way ticket to the loony bin. Kissing, huh? Guess we're just going to have to ride on that suspense for now. You've had a lot of experience of getting to the moment with no spark, have you?"
Serena pointed a finger at him as she stuck her tongue in the corner of her mouth briefly. "That is a lesson I made sure to remember early on. I just think it's still easy to fall into a trap. Especially if you really care about the patient. It's hard to always stay objective, you know? But it's a fine line to walk when you still want to not treat them like meat, and not give them false hope. So you're saying... yes? I think I've had more than I care to admit."
"Of course it is," Chris agreed, his forehead creasing a little as he squinted in the bright sunlight. "It's a trap I've fallen into more times than I care to admit. Parents to kids... an expectant mom... a kid whose dad had just been in a building collapse. They stick with you, somewhere deep inside. You get cases that you don't forget and that you end up using to learn from, but you still see their faces sometimes, when you get patients come in with similar things. It's just human nature. It's easy to get too confident and make promises." He finished off his coffee, and looked over at her, another hint of a smirk appearing. "I'm not saying no."
"Glad to know it's still something that can happen to even experienced trauma specialists. I honestly don't know how we can do this job without being affected. You really would have to be a robot, or a zombie, or something. Even with seperated hand guy there was something to personalise it. Aside from the apparent masturbation conversation." Serena rolled her eyes and laughed softly. "Well, that's something."
Chris shrugged. "We're only human. We're not cyborgs, even if some days I wish I was just to plug on that bit more, you know. The days you go home wrecked with a thumping headache." He smirked. "Eva told me about that, but hey, dude had a point. If you're gonna lose your hand, you don't want it to be your jerk off one. Some things are just sacred. No matter what anyone says, you can never quite get the same momentum with your other hand. All I'm saying is sleep on it, maybe. You might be just projecting after a long day. There's probably a fifty-fifty chance you'll wake up tomorrow and be all 'Holy shit, no way do I wanna bed Dr. C.'"
Serena arched an eyebrow at him. "So which one is your jerk off hand? Just so I know not to go for that one if I do wind up getting a scalpel out. Fine, I'll sleep on it. I'm just not going to be held accountable for what my jerk off hand will be doing."
"That's for me to know and you to find out, Dr. Warren," Chris returned with a cheeky smirk. He squashed the coffee cup into the empty sandwich container and snapped it closed again so he could toss it into the trash on his way back. "I wouldn't worry about that. If you go home tonight with the energy for that, you're not working hard enough," he joked just as his pager started to buzz on his hip. "Saved by the bell again. Maybe karma's against us."
Serena's pager went off a moment later and she rolled onto her back to get to her feet with a groan of protest. She might have still been young, but that didn't mean the hours and work didn't take their toll. "Personally it's probably just wishful thinking. I would love nothing more than to go home and have a nice dirty dream, but mostly I just pass straight out." She offered him her hand to help him up as she grinned. "Karma owes me, so it must be all your bad doing."
Chris' eyebrows rose as he read the page. "Hit and run? Ohh-kay then." He took her hand and pulled himself up with her help. He snapped the pager back onto his belt and grabbed up his trash. "What is with all the shootings and hit and runs lately? To think, I actually used to feel safe living in Miami once upon a time. Become a trauma surgeon and you can't help wonder if a truck will squish you on your ride to work each day. Karma your little Resident butt to the OR, Dr. Warren. You'll have to put the sex fantasies on hold for awhile."
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