fuck.

[cut_cut_cut]

fuck everyone. i've spent tha last year or so giving all i can to my friends and my girlfriend, driving everyone everywhere, buying people shit and trying to be the best friend i can be. and what do i get? the feeling of being a burden to everyone, getting ditched, getting bitched at and never, ever being invited anywhere, thus making it seems like i'm tagging along wherever i go. i'm not your annoying kid brother. i spend every day bending over backwards to make other people happy, and in return i fuck up my life. i thought "hey, i'll go to UCCS", fuck that. i'm probably not going to graduate. i changed EVERYTHING about myself to better serve all amy friends, and in return, i get made fun of and avoided at every corner. if any of my friends actually gave a shit about me, they would do something nice for me. any time i've EVER asked to be picked up at my house, i get some lame excuse. "you live too far out" fuck you. everyone goes and picks up kyle, and he lives about 20 miles further away than i do. i've been thinking about this for a while, hoping that i could just move on when i go to college, but i can't even do that now. i'm stuck in a shitty situation with no one that really cares about me. i have a lot of friends, yet i am a friend to no one. i'm just another rung on the ladder of people you will step over to make yourselves feel better. i'm not your slave, and obviously not your friend. and when my girlfriend thinks that taking her out to dinner is more important than me trying NOT to fuck up my life beyond recognition after 2 a year of treating her like a goddess and suddernly I"M the bad guy, and I'M selfish. well, fuck you all. fuck you for not caring about me. fuck you for letting me fuck up my life for you. fuck you for leading me on and treating me like an itch that can't be scratched. you are all bad people, i hope you get what you deserve. i just hope i could've held out for a little longer so i wouldn't have to see you at school. it would be the same anyway: i would be ignored. now, if i don't pay attention to steph for a millisecond, i won't have to spend the rest of the day trying to cheer her up.

your "friend" andrew