Long time, no see
Quick update cos i'm at work again!!! This weeks been fine other than that i actually want to kill Ceri. She's making our house a pigsty and it's pissing me off. there are used tissues under the coffee table, open packets of bacon either on the worktop or the top shelf of the fridge, she leaves every light on in the house regardless of if she's in or not and she only eats if me or Lynne cook or if she realises that we're not going to cook for her. oh, and she nicked some of our ice cream from the freezer. the nice stuff we got cos we were both feeling sorry for ourselves. fucking bitch!
On the mental health side of things, i'm struggling. i haven't cut in over 10 days now but i'm struggling. i don't want to cut in the new house if i can help it, it's meant to be a new start, but i really really need to. i'm going slowly mad what with Ceri and just my own head. on that note, i'm feeling really crappy. my heads telling me all sorts of things at the moment and for some unknown reason, i'm listenign to it. too much! my opinion of myself is at its lowest ever point and all i can think about is how much i hate myself and how much of a failure i am. I'm not liking my job because i feel i'm crap at it, i'm hating being in this new house because my head's saying it's not going to work and things like that and i see myself as fat, spotty and ugly and nothing anyone can say is going to change that at the moment. why am i like this again? it's not fair and it's not right. i thought i was getting better and yet it just feels like i'm sliding back down the slope to depression again. it's not fucking fair.
Ah shit, gotta go. some work just came in. hope everyone' ok, better than me at least!!
Cut
On the mental health side of things, i'm struggling. i haven't cut in over 10 days now but i'm struggling. i don't want to cut in the new house if i can help it, it's meant to be a new start, but i really really need to. i'm going slowly mad what with Ceri and just my own head. on that note, i'm feeling really crappy. my heads telling me all sorts of things at the moment and for some unknown reason, i'm listenign to it. too much! my opinion of myself is at its lowest ever point and all i can think about is how much i hate myself and how much of a failure i am. I'm not liking my job because i feel i'm crap at it, i'm hating being in this new house because my head's saying it's not going to work and things like that and i see myself as fat, spotty and ugly and nothing anyone can say is going to change that at the moment. why am i like this again? it's not fair and it's not right. i thought i was getting better and yet it just feels like i'm sliding back down the slope to depression again. it's not fucking fair.
Ah shit, gotta go. some work just came in. hope everyone' ok, better than me at least!!
Cut