The Head-Slam-Desk kind of Suck
I've worked in customer service for years. I know people yell and most of the time, it's out of frustration, not personal, and I just do what we all do in that position, smile and champion on through it, but this is the first time I've worked tech support/customer service...and it just gets woooorse each time.
+ The customer who thinks I'm an idiot because I'm not a magician. This customer knows he's speaking with Internet technical support, because it's part of our phone intro. We resolve Internet-related issues and yet, he asks me the following question, "Can you turn on my computer for me?" ...my customer service response is, "I'm sorry your computer is not functioning accordingly. Have you tried checking that the power cord is properly in place." Believe it or not, sometimes it is that simple. "Have you tried a different outlet?" That's happened to me twice. "Have you tried the mousepad?" That one doesn't always work but some customers think their computer is off when it's actually asleep. "Have you tried holding down the power button for ten seconds, then pressing it after letting go?" After many other questions like these, I realized, either his screen was dead, his hard drive was dead, or just, something was dead, so I apologized and explained that's not something we could do, but I wanted to at least try to pinpoint the issue so I could direct him to a solution---his local tech store. Oh, he got mad. And snappy. "Why is it you people never know what you're doing!?" And I explained, calmly, that while remote access on a computer is possible, it needs the computer to be turned on and an active Internet connection, but that we lack the tools (and information) to complete said action. He called me an idiot. Said McAfee could do it for him as they had unlocked his father's computer when he forgot his password to it.
At that point, I didn't have the strength to explain how different that scenario is from his own (HIS FATHER'S COMPUTER WAS LOCKED. BUT ON. IT HAD POWER.)
+ The customer who doesn't understand the fact that bandwidth is not unlimited. I get this lady and I can see it's the 3rd time she calls for the same issue. Her internet is slow. She tells me she pays for 10M and when she tests it, she gets 3M. I, of course, have to politely ask if she's testing it via ethernet. She says yes. I ask if there's any wifi devices on. She says no.
LIIIIIES.
This ISP has a nifty bandwidth tool and network tool where we can see how many devices are on the network (useful when we have IP conflict issues---we release the IPs from devices and they reacquire their individual IPs, everyone's happy). She has a Wii, a streaming device, two tablets and two PCs (one hardwired). I tell her what I see. She's not happy, but she turns them all off. After turning them off, her speeds are beeeautiful. She's getting just below 10 (about 9.8?) and she just screeches (how do customers learn how to screech like banshees is beyond me), "I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU THINK TESTING IT WHEN I'M NOT USING IT IS GOING TO SOLVE ANYTHING. IT'S ONLY SLOW WHEN I TRY TO USE IT."
...I can't even. I gently explain how speeds work; you're sharing it across devices, it means that depending on what everyone is doing, they're drawing from the speeds to do what they're doing and if they're trying to pull more than what she's provisioned for, there's going to be issues, and maybe she should upgrade. Of course, no customer wants to hear, "You're over-utilizing you bandwidth, how about upgrading to a higher speed to improve your connection?" because all they hear is, "PAY MORE, BIATCH." Sigh. And that's what she heard. Cue more screeching.
So, I do something I'm not supposed to do but considering it had been the third time she had called and she kept harassing other techs...I just had to spare the next tech the pain. I ask her what she does with her inet. What is she doing when it gets the most slow? Netflix and her son plays WoW. Now, I don't play WoW (...I need a better gaming PC for that), but I don't think it draws on that much and I am a Netflix hog so I suddenly have a lightbulb, "What's your video quality on Netflix?" "What does that mean?" Insert sigh. I'm inet tech support, not Netflix support, so I know anyone who audits this call is gonna flip on me, but frak it. I explain to her the different video qualities, SD, HD and Ultra HD, their speeds, etc. She insists she has to have the basic one.
...I don't believe her. (My job is like an episode of House M.D. Everybody lies). I tell her to turn on her streaming device, put something on on Netflix, and have her son turn on/use his WoW. Run the tool. See the thing that's pulling 7M as her streaming device (hmm, smells like HD to me. Ultra HD is 25. And if you have HD/Ultra HD, the serv is smart enough to put you in HD if it detects you can pull Ultra HD). I tell her this. She says I'm lying.
WHY WOULD I LIE? I AM TRYING TO HELP YOU, LADY.
So I tell her how to log on to her Netflix account on her computer, to check her settings AND she sees I wasn't lying. Sigh. HD/Ultra HD. I tell her she can go to Playback Settings (also in her account settings) and change the data usage from Auto to Medium (which wouldn't pull as much bandwidth), without having to lower her screen amounts because she was screaming to me about that, too, "So, I'm supposed to go to standard so I can use Netflix!? Then I can only use it on one screen!"
Oh, the tragedy. UPGRADE YOUR SPEED.
And at the end of all this? Not even a thank you. Just an exasperated sigh of "Well, I guess I have no choice." ...you have plenty of choices, you just don't like either one, cranky pants.
Go hug a tree.
Customers like these...make me hate my job. Not because I can't do what they ask me to do, more because, well, we try to help them and yet they just see/hear what they want to hear. And sorry, but yelling will never ever change the ability in which I'll help you. Honestly...
+ The customer who thinks I'm an idiot because I'm not a magician. This customer knows he's speaking with Internet technical support, because it's part of our phone intro. We resolve Internet-related issues and yet, he asks me the following question, "Can you turn on my computer for me?" ...my customer service response is, "I'm sorry your computer is not functioning accordingly. Have you tried checking that the power cord is properly in place." Believe it or not, sometimes it is that simple. "Have you tried a different outlet?" That's happened to me twice. "Have you tried the mousepad?" That one doesn't always work but some customers think their computer is off when it's actually asleep. "Have you tried holding down the power button for ten seconds, then pressing it after letting go?" After many other questions like these, I realized, either his screen was dead, his hard drive was dead, or just, something was dead, so I apologized and explained that's not something we could do, but I wanted to at least try to pinpoint the issue so I could direct him to a solution---his local tech store. Oh, he got mad. And snappy. "Why is it you people never know what you're doing!?" And I explained, calmly, that while remote access on a computer is possible, it needs the computer to be turned on and an active Internet connection, but that we lack the tools (and information) to complete said action. He called me an idiot. Said McAfee could do it for him as they had unlocked his father's computer when he forgot his password to it.
At that point, I didn't have the strength to explain how different that scenario is from his own (HIS FATHER'S COMPUTER WAS LOCKED. BUT ON. IT HAD POWER.)
+ The customer who doesn't understand the fact that bandwidth is not unlimited. I get this lady and I can see it's the 3rd time she calls for the same issue. Her internet is slow. She tells me she pays for 10M and when she tests it, she gets 3M. I, of course, have to politely ask if she's testing it via ethernet. She says yes. I ask if there's any wifi devices on. She says no.
LIIIIIES.
This ISP has a nifty bandwidth tool and network tool where we can see how many devices are on the network (useful when we have IP conflict issues---we release the IPs from devices and they reacquire their individual IPs, everyone's happy). She has a Wii, a streaming device, two tablets and two PCs (one hardwired). I tell her what I see. She's not happy, but she turns them all off. After turning them off, her speeds are beeeautiful. She's getting just below 10 (about 9.8?) and she just screeches (how do customers learn how to screech like banshees is beyond me), "I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU THINK TESTING IT WHEN I'M NOT USING IT IS GOING TO SOLVE ANYTHING. IT'S ONLY SLOW WHEN I TRY TO USE IT."
...I can't even. I gently explain how speeds work; you're sharing it across devices, it means that depending on what everyone is doing, they're drawing from the speeds to do what they're doing and if they're trying to pull more than what she's provisioned for, there's going to be issues, and maybe she should upgrade. Of course, no customer wants to hear, "You're over-utilizing you bandwidth, how about upgrading to a higher speed to improve your connection?" because all they hear is, "PAY MORE, BIATCH." Sigh. And that's what she heard. Cue more screeching.
So, I do something I'm not supposed to do but considering it had been the third time she had called and she kept harassing other techs...I just had to spare the next tech the pain. I ask her what she does with her inet. What is she doing when it gets the most slow? Netflix and her son plays WoW. Now, I don't play WoW (...I need a better gaming PC for that), but I don't think it draws on that much and I am a Netflix hog so I suddenly have a lightbulb, "What's your video quality on Netflix?" "What does that mean?" Insert sigh. I'm inet tech support, not Netflix support, so I know anyone who audits this call is gonna flip on me, but frak it. I explain to her the different video qualities, SD, HD and Ultra HD, their speeds, etc. She insists she has to have the basic one.
...I don't believe her. (My job is like an episode of House M.D. Everybody lies). I tell her to turn on her streaming device, put something on on Netflix, and have her son turn on/use his WoW. Run the tool. See the thing that's pulling 7M as her streaming device (hmm, smells like HD to me. Ultra HD is 25. And if you have HD/Ultra HD, the serv is smart enough to put you in HD if it detects you can pull Ultra HD). I tell her this. She says I'm lying.
WHY WOULD I LIE? I AM TRYING TO HELP YOU, LADY.
So I tell her how to log on to her Netflix account on her computer, to check her settings AND she sees I wasn't lying. Sigh. HD/Ultra HD. I tell her she can go to Playback Settings (also in her account settings) and change the data usage from Auto to Medium (which wouldn't pull as much bandwidth), without having to lower her screen amounts because she was screaming to me about that, too, "So, I'm supposed to go to standard so I can use Netflix!? Then I can only use it on one screen!"
Oh, the tragedy. UPGRADE YOUR SPEED.
And at the end of all this? Not even a thank you. Just an exasperated sigh of "Well, I guess I have no choice." ...you have plenty of choices, you just don't like either one, cranky pants.
Go hug a tree.
Customers like these...make me hate my job. Not because I can't do what they ask me to do, more because, well, we try to help them and yet they just see/hear what they want to hear. And sorry, but yelling will never ever change the ability in which I'll help you. Honestly...