♪So don't you all be lettin' that door hit you in the arse...♫

[velvetalchemist]

Guests, when I start making announcements a half hour out that the mall will be closing and the gate will be dropping at six, PAY SOME FREAKIN' ATTENTION, WOULD YA? I clearly state that you have X amount of minutes to exit through the mall gate, that it WILL come down at a specific time (and after that you'll have to leave through our main entrance which will be open for another hour), and no, I won't reopen it no matter how hardcore of a tantrum you throw at me. Yes, our anchor store stays open for another hour; I included that in the announcements. No, you cannot re-enter the mall after hours; the doors are fire-locked and you'll have to wait for someone to exit and catch the open door that way. Yes, I did make a fifteen minute announcement... twenty minutes ago. No, I am not reopening the gate and pissing off security and mall management. Yes, you'll have to walk to your car along the perimeter of the building. No, I'm not calling security to chauffeur your lazy ass around the corner. You have a cell phone that has the time on it; it is not my responsibility to time-keep for you. I believe I was fairly clear when I used the PA system and said that if you entered our store through our mall entrance that you should please finalize your purchases and head to the registers at this time so we may get you through the checkout and headed safely to your car. Did you think I was just yanking your chain? Yeah, you did hear a chain. The one that controls the overhead gate that I lowered at six. Gee, it's six fifteen and you're parked on the other side of the building? Enjoy the walk; it's a lovely day outside. Oh, we're in a "bad" neighborhood and you're afraid of being outside? Perhaps you should remember this next time you decide to go out craft shopping at the last minute.

Also, when I get back on the PA and tell you in my cute, perky tones that it's now 6:45 and we'll be closing up shop in fifteen minutes, I'm pretty sure at no point did I say that this was just a suggestive time. Dinking around until fifteen after the hour and then arguing prices and haggling until 7:30 was not part of the closing spiel. We have a store to put back together (boy howdy did we) and payroll to manage. If you and your husband cannot decide on which shade of dusty blue best goes with your beige couch in the three hours you've been wandering around, you're not going to have an epiphany once we've closed. Go home.

It's days like this that I really wish I knew how to hack into our Muzak system, because at closing time I'd have treated everyone to a rousing round of "Bugger Off" by The Real McKenzies. Seriously, I've had it stuck in my head since about 6:55 this evening. And this is only day one of our Daf... wait. Our "Marigold Marathon" sale. *snerk, giggle* I shudder to think what fresh hells await us upon the morrow.

Thanks for listening; I now return you to your regularly scheduled journal-surfing. :)