Dear Customer
Quick Brief: Snr Tech Support Monkey for 15 ISP's, two customers who should burn.
Dear Customer,
I really REALLY do understand your anger an annoyance of recieving a bill for £250+VAT (17.5%) for the BT engineer who sent to site and found it was your router causing the issue, we did warn you that this can and will occur if your hardware is at fault. No we will not refund that money nor will we "take it on the nose", we and by we I mean I, warned you that this was going to happen if we did not swap out the router. You agree to the T&Cs made during the call about this appointment with BT Openreach, I know I've got the voice recording in my mailbox right now for reviewing.
No sir my Manager will not "give you it back", nor will threattening ME personally with a legal case on deception etc make the money disappear. Next time spend the damn £40 on a new router and you can then bitch at us then about getting it back, WE do do credit on routers that were not needed.
Yours,
Tech Monkey
Dear Sir,
I understand that this fault has been going on for a month now, its not a simple one and I appreciate that you've now come to the end of your tether on this matter. Seriously wouldnt suggest taking a rifle up a tower and taking out BT Openreach engineers, it might delay the repairs by a while (Seriously he actually said that).
Yes I can see that we have a "special" engineer from the REINS team going out this Saturday..oh no ones going to be there and you wont come in espically to fix this. Well thats going to delay things to Tuesday I'm afraid...No I'm not bulling you sir, here in the UK we have Bank Holiday called May Day. It happens on the first Monday of every May, every year. No engineer is working that day, its why I'm getting the first engineer available for Tuesday to high tail his ass to the front door and make sure this works.
Sir, if you call me that choice of words again I'll be happy to generate you a MAC code and send your way.
Oh you've hung up...and run back within seconds and now started on another agent. Thank god we have internal comms, I've brief the agent within seconds and he's told you the same thing, so please accept this. We do want you back online, we HATE BT just as much as you do Sir, they mess us around too often.
Yours,
The Now Slightly Drunk Tech Monkey
Dear Customer,
I really REALLY do understand your anger an annoyance of recieving a bill for £250+VAT (17.5%) for the BT engineer who sent to site and found it was your router causing the issue, we did warn you that this can and will occur if your hardware is at fault. No we will not refund that money nor will we "take it on the nose", we and by we I mean I, warned you that this was going to happen if we did not swap out the router. You agree to the T&Cs made during the call about this appointment with BT Openreach, I know I've got the voice recording in my mailbox right now for reviewing.
No sir my Manager will not "give you it back", nor will threattening ME personally with a legal case on deception etc make the money disappear. Next time spend the damn £40 on a new router and you can then bitch at us then about getting it back, WE do do credit on routers that were not needed.
Yours,
Tech Monkey
Dear Sir,
I understand that this fault has been going on for a month now, its not a simple one and I appreciate that you've now come to the end of your tether on this matter. Seriously wouldnt suggest taking a rifle up a tower and taking out BT Openreach engineers, it might delay the repairs by a while (Seriously he actually said that).
Yes I can see that we have a "special" engineer from the REINS team going out this Saturday..oh no ones going to be there and you wont come in espically to fix this. Well thats going to delay things to Tuesday I'm afraid...No I'm not bulling you sir, here in the UK we have Bank Holiday called May Day. It happens on the first Monday of every May, every year. No engineer is working that day, its why I'm getting the first engineer available for Tuesday to high tail his ass to the front door and make sure this works.
Sir, if you call me that choice of words again I'll be happy to generate you a MAC code and send your way.
Oh you've hung up...and run back within seconds and now started on another agent. Thank god we have internal comms, I've brief the agent within seconds and he's told you the same thing, so please accept this. We do want you back online, we HATE BT just as much as you do Sir, they mess us around too often.
Yours,
The Now Slightly Drunk Tech Monkey