(no subject)
From last weekend. I work at a Build a Bear, a store in which you get to make a stuffed animal. We have birthday parties frequently.
Dearest Family of Asshats,
I know you spent a lot of money on your party. I know that your kid was looking forward to it. Despite what you might think, we didn't hire an actress to faint in the middle of your party. Believe it or not, we DIDN'T ask her to fall on the floor. We DIDN'T ask her to interrupt the entire store. We sincerely apologize that the paramedics just *had* to get that stretcher in.
You wanted to speak to the manager, eh? Well, we had our GM in. And she apologized. We gave you free shit. We gave you coupons. There were party discounts galore. And yet... it wasn't enough.
As you left, you said, "Maybe she'll have a happier birthday next year." Oh yes, she will. Because next year, we'll hires some actors to die during your party. And we'll rig the ceiling tiles too just to make sure it's going the extra mile.
Love,
Master Bear Builder
Dearest Family of Asshats,
I know you spent a lot of money on your party. I know that your kid was looking forward to it. Despite what you might think, we didn't hire an actress to faint in the middle of your party. Believe it or not, we DIDN'T ask her to fall on the floor. We DIDN'T ask her to interrupt the entire store. We sincerely apologize that the paramedics just *had* to get that stretcher in.
You wanted to speak to the manager, eh? Well, we had our GM in. And she apologized. We gave you free shit. We gave you coupons. There were party discounts galore. And yet... it wasn't enough.
As you left, you said, "Maybe she'll have a happier birthday next year." Oh yes, she will. Because next year, we'll hires some actors to die during your party. And we'll rig the ceiling tiles too just to make sure it's going the extra mile.
Love,
Master Bear Builder