original intent & healthy curviness
Original Intent
I read this post by one of our members, as well as the comments to the post, and I feel that I need to explain why I created this community, to clear some things up. I want to explain the 'original intent' of this community, and address some discomfort that some of our members are experiencing.
I have what I believe to be the 'average' healthy woman's figure. I'm curvy, I'm voluptuous, and I do not have the proportions of any model or actress you see in the media -- and I feel the pressure to be thin. I had gotten tired of believing that I was wrong for being myself, and I went on a search for a community of people like myself.
I found misscurvaceous, which was a community dedicated to the hourglass shape, but it wasn't very active and eventually it died. I contacted the former moderator and asked why it got deleted, and she said it was because of clashing between sizes -- people were telling each other that they weren't curvy or were 'too curvy' (as if there is such a thing) and she got tired of the drama and deleted it. Well, we can all be delighted that it got deleted because that was the birth of this community, and I have to say that the spirit in here is about a million times more generous, kind, accepting, and open-minded, thanks to all of you lovely members and your gracious attitudes.
I wanted to learn from misscurvaceous's mistakes, so I decided that this community would not allow anyone to say 'too thin' or 'too thick' to anyone. However, this community was created at first for the average woman -- the women who were too delightfully curvy to fit into fashion model standards, but didn't fit in the plus size communities either. Let me tell you, LJ has about a million plus-size communities -- and the most active ones tend to be very exclusionist, only accepting members who are plus-size. I felt that I didn't belong in them, because at that time I was a size 9-10, which is considered straight size. So, since there were no communities for girls like me, I created one, and invited many of the members from the misscurvaceous community.
My intent was that this community be for sizes 7-12 (though I never wrote that down) -- but that intent changed. As people joined and posted their photos and stories, I began to realize that healthy curviness also comes in larger and smaller sizes. My perception of healthy curvy beauty shifted. Yes, I'll admit, seeing images of girls who were thinner than me at first made me very uncomfortable, and I wanted to gently shoo them out -- but I didn't, and instead tried to change my perception. I forced myself to see their healthy (though sometimes very subtle) curves, and as I did, I found myself growing more confident in my own curves. I now believe that it is impossible to truly accept yourself as beautiful until you can see beauty in those who are different from you. Then, and only then, can you love the fact that we are all different and you are unique. And it wasn't just the thinner ones that changed my views -- I began to be able to see those who were heavier than me as beautiful too, which was an amazing breakthrough. Since I had always condemned my own supposedly 'unneccessary' curves, I condemned others too -- and as I accepted others I was more able to accept myself.
This community is for all healthy curvy girls, and for those who wish to become healthy. This means that if you are unhealthily underweight or obese to the point where it seriously inhibits health and mobility, as long as you are (however slowly) heading in the direction of healthy curviness, you are wonderfully welcome here. We happily include those who are naturally smaller or larger.
And to the members who feel uncomfortable with the smaller girls here, I ask you to please stay and try to change your mindset. There will always be those who are thinner or thicker than you, and if you want to grow comfortable among those of different body types, I think that this is the place to do that. Especially if you have recently joined -- it took me a while to feel truly comfortable with seeing photos of girls who are smaller than me, but it was SO very worth it, because now I can go out and feel confident even when a 'media-worshipped' girl walks by.
If you want to join another community in addition or replacement to this one, beautifulcurves is a plus-sized-only body acceptance group that's pretty active and seems fairly nice.
To all of our 'plus size,' 'average,' and 'small size' members -- each of you are so brave and so beautiful and I LOVE having you here. Without you, our community would be unable to truly appreciate the fantastic variety of healthy curvy bodies.
I read this post by one of our members, as well as the comments to the post, and I feel that I need to explain why I created this community, to clear some things up. I want to explain the 'original intent' of this community, and address some discomfort that some of our members are experiencing.
I have what I believe to be the 'average' healthy woman's figure. I'm curvy, I'm voluptuous, and I do not have the proportions of any model or actress you see in the media -- and I feel the pressure to be thin. I had gotten tired of believing that I was wrong for being myself, and I went on a search for a community of people like myself.
I found misscurvaceous, which was a community dedicated to the hourglass shape, but it wasn't very active and eventually it died. I contacted the former moderator and asked why it got deleted, and she said it was because of clashing between sizes -- people were telling each other that they weren't curvy or were 'too curvy' (as if there is such a thing) and she got tired of the drama and deleted it. Well, we can all be delighted that it got deleted because that was the birth of this community, and I have to say that the spirit in here is about a million times more generous, kind, accepting, and open-minded, thanks to all of you lovely members and your gracious attitudes.
I wanted to learn from misscurvaceous's mistakes, so I decided that this community would not allow anyone to say 'too thin' or 'too thick' to anyone. However, this community was created at first for the average woman -- the women who were too delightfully curvy to fit into fashion model standards, but didn't fit in the plus size communities either. Let me tell you, LJ has about a million plus-size communities -- and the most active ones tend to be very exclusionist, only accepting members who are plus-size. I felt that I didn't belong in them, because at that time I was a size 9-10, which is considered straight size. So, since there were no communities for girls like me, I created one, and invited many of the members from the misscurvaceous community.
My intent was that this community be for sizes 7-12 (though I never wrote that down) -- but that intent changed. As people joined and posted their photos and stories, I began to realize that healthy curviness also comes in larger and smaller sizes. My perception of healthy curvy beauty shifted. Yes, I'll admit, seeing images of girls who were thinner than me at first made me very uncomfortable, and I wanted to gently shoo them out -- but I didn't, and instead tried to change my perception. I forced myself to see their healthy (though sometimes very subtle) curves, and as I did, I found myself growing more confident in my own curves. I now believe that it is impossible to truly accept yourself as beautiful until you can see beauty in those who are different from you. Then, and only then, can you love the fact that we are all different and you are unique. And it wasn't just the thinner ones that changed my views -- I began to be able to see those who were heavier than me as beautiful too, which was an amazing breakthrough. Since I had always condemned my own supposedly 'unneccessary' curves, I condemned others too -- and as I accepted others I was more able to accept myself.
This community is for all healthy curvy girls, and for those who wish to become healthy. This means that if you are unhealthily underweight or obese to the point where it seriously inhibits health and mobility, as long as you are (however slowly) heading in the direction of healthy curviness, you are wonderfully welcome here. We happily include those who are naturally smaller or larger.
And to the members who feel uncomfortable with the smaller girls here, I ask you to please stay and try to change your mindset. There will always be those who are thinner or thicker than you, and if you want to grow comfortable among those of different body types, I think that this is the place to do that. Especially if you have recently joined -- it took me a while to feel truly comfortable with seeing photos of girls who are smaller than me, but it was SO very worth it, because now I can go out and feel confident even when a 'media-worshipped' girl walks by.
If you want to join another community in addition or replacement to this one, beautifulcurves is a plus-sized-only body acceptance group that's pretty active and seems fairly nice.
To all of our 'plus size,' 'average,' and 'small size' members -- each of you are so brave and so beautiful and I LOVE having you here. Without you, our community would be unable to truly appreciate the fantastic variety of healthy curvy bodies.