the truth about cats and dogs
For cornerflag's Issue no. 7; also for darkblue.
Title: The Truth About Cats and Dogs
Rating: PG
Pairing: Cesc Fàbregas/Robin van Persie
Disclaimer: Fiction.
Summary: Condensed romcom - Cesc and Adonis meet Robin, who has an angry cat.
It wasn't their usual walking time. They had already been out that morning, but Cesc had eaten two slices of cheesecake after supper and Adonis had had a little extra meaty chunks in his bacon and liver mix; so, when Adonis came padding up to Cesc with his leash in his mouth and casting hopeful eyes at the door, Cesc only rubbed his own aching belly, finished his beer, and said, "All right, then."
The sky was golden as Cesc and his dog started down the road. By the time they reached Highbury Fields, a gradient of the sunset had taken over: dark violet stretched overhead, then pinker and pinker, peach, amber, and a wide strip of glowing tangerine yellow on the horizon. It was beautiful, like an arrangement of his best cupcakes, or, better, the burst of their flavours in his mouth - no, even better, it was sublime. Cesc thought, Maybe Adonis is onto something with walking at this time of day.
But the thought was brief, for at that moment Adonis let out a shrill cry - or maybe it was his owner who squealed - as some kind of a beast came around the trees and barrelled into them. The beast mewled a terrible mew and started batting at Adonis's tail, which Adonis was trying very hard to hide, and their leashes wound a tangled mess around Cesc's legs. Belatedly, as he fought to remain upright, Cesc noticed that there was a man attached to the beast's leash and that the beast was actually a cat - a hissing bully of a cat, apparently, but a cat nonetheless.
"Sorry! I'm so sorry," the cat-owner said, trying to steady Cesc with one hand and extricate his pet monster with the other. "I don't know what's got into Cheetah! I promise she's not usually like this. It must be the dark that's scaring her; we don't usually walk so late, you see."
"Who even walks a cat?" Cesc demanded once he was free. The cat was caged in her owner's arms now, but Adonis was still cowering behind Cesc's knees, so Cesc felt justified in avenging the previous injustice. "Aren't normal cats supposed to lounge around the house and bitch about how life is so bourgeois?"
"I do," the cat-owner said, frowning. "And I don't know about your dog, but my cat doesn't talk. Just... I'll have you know, Cheetah is extraordinarily athletic. And otherwise normal."
"Normal cats don't attack innocent puppies!"
The cat-owner seemed for a moment as though he was going to dispute that statement of complete and utter truth but caught himself before doing. Instead, he gave Cesc a funny look, made Cesc squirm a bit on the inside and feel subjected to a pseudo-scientific scrutiny, before dropping his gaze to Adonis and then following down on his knees.
"What are you doing?" Cesc said, suspicious.
"Cheetah and I would like to apologise to..."
"Adonis," Cesc supplied. He shrugged at the cat-owner's loaded glance. He had wanted to name the dog Ares, like the god of war, or something exceptionally butch and fear-inspiring, like Spike or Alfonso, but... well, look at him! One look at that face and Cesc had known he had adopted a bona fide stud.
"Adonis, then. Adonis," the cat-owner said, looking Cesc's dog in the eye, "Cheetah and I are very sorry to have caused you any pain or trauma this evening." Adonis whimpered, clearly in agreement. "I know, I know," the cat-owner continued soothingly. "We have wronged you grievously. Can you please find it in your majestic heart of hearts to forgive us? Please? We promise it won't happen again."
It didn't take long for the dog to make up his mind. Adonis whimpered again, but Cesc knew that this time it was a helpless reaction to the cat-owner's undeniable charm. Cesc was also about two seconds away from simpering at the man and barely contained himself in time to manage a more dignified lip-twitch. Then Adonis barked happily and licked at the cat-owner's face, and Cesc felt oddly jealous that his puppy got there first. He tugged at Adonis's collar as the cat-owner stood up.
"I am sorry for disturbing your night," he said, giving Cesc that curious look again and petting his cat absently. "I usually walk her in the morning, but I was running late today, so we postponed it."
"It's fine," Cesc said, suddenly feeling a little flustered. "Adonis and I are morning walkers too. We just... ate too much tonight and needed the exercise." Stupid, so stupid. He didn't need to know that.
"Yeah? The pair of you looks quite fit to me."
Cesc might have whimpered a little. He tried to mask it with a cough.
"I'm Robin," the cat-owner now known as Robin said.
"Cesc."
"Hello Cesc, it's nice to meet you." Robin smiled. "Would you and your superlative Adonis like to continue walking with me and my cat?"
Cesc looked down at Adonis, who wagged his tail bashfully. "All right," he said, and slowly smiled back.
It was easy to talk to Robin, which made Cesc feel comfortable enough to begin flirting in return. He tried to be a little coyer than Robin, though, whose brazen smiles and straight responses spoke of uninhibited interest in Cesc. At least, Cesc thought so.
"What is your job?" Robin was asking as they trailed behind Adonis and Cheetah, who seemed to be getting on much better now that they had teamed up to chase the park squirrels. Well, Cheetah was chasing the squirrels. Adonis had tastefully decided to cheerlead the expedition.
"I'm a baker," Cesc said, beaming. "Arsène's Sweetiecakes, near Chinatown. Have you been there?"
"No, but I'll try to stop by next time I'm picking up egg foo young for dinner." Robin grinned mischievously. "So... sweetiecakes?"
"Don't knock them until you try them. Anyway, what do you do?"
Robin shrugged. "I'm a professional childminder."
"What? You're a babysitter?" Cesc laughed.
"Professional childminder," Robin corrected, but he was smiling too. "A caregiver."
"A nanny," Cesc teased gleefully. "No, a male nanny - a manny! A regular Joe Frost."
"That's cute."
No, you are, Cesc wanted to say, but he settled for blushing instead. "Do you work with one family, then, or do you have multiple clients?"
"Just the one, for a single mother who has become a close friend of mine. Her children, Shaqueel and Dina Layla, are practically my own. I adore them."
"How did you get into mannying?"
Robin smiled at him and only said, "I like kids."
"Oh," Cesc said, and melted on the inside.
Cesc decided to employ his best ninja skills when they approached the edge of the park. "What time do you usually walk Cheetah?" he asked. Keep it cool, real smooth.
"About half-six."
Cesc tried not to cringe. He and Adonis often didn't make it out of the flat until 08:45 or sometimes nine. But what came out of his mouth was, somehow, "Oh, wow, that's kind of late. Adonis and I are usually here around six." Then, before Robin could do more than lift a shoulder in apology, Cesc continued airily, "Who knows? Maybe we'll see you around some time."
"Maybe," Robin agreed. "It was nice meeting you, Cesc. And you!" He bent to ruffle the dog's fine black fur and scratch beneath his chin, which always made Adonis docile and kind of weepy. "Adonis, King of wild things, it was my pleasure. I do hope to see you again."
Adonis woofed.
Cesc's alarm rang at 06:15 the next morning. He snoozed for five minutes, and after a quick wash-up, went to wake Adonis from his doggy bed.
"Baby," he crooned when Adonis opened one eye and lifted a lazy paw in protest. "It's time for our walk." Adonis grunted. "I know, it's earlier than usual. But remember the nice, handsome man? Yeah, mate, we might see him again. His beastly cat will be there too, unfortunately, but you can play wingman for your daddy, can't you?" Adonis closed his eye. "Baby! You were so supportive last night. Come on, stud, you know we've been so lonely. Let's go, and maybe, eventually, one day, you'll have two daddies, okay? Two."
Of course Adonis couldn't say no to that.
Cesc smelled the coffee before he saw Robin sitting on the bench with two cups in hand. He let Adonis off the leash to go join Cheetah in naughty frolicking and casually sat down.
"Hi. Are you sure you didn't come this early just to see me? Because that's a lot of coffee for one bloke."
Robin laughed. "One of them is for you. I hope I won't be considered presumptuous."
"You won't be if I'm getting free coffee," Cesc said and gladly took the cup.
"Do you take it black?"
"Um..."
Robin laughed again and produced a zipper bag full of sweeteners. "No cream or milk, I'm afraid, but maybe these will help?"
Cesc grabbed the bag with greedy hands. "Yes!" He dumped eight packets of Sweet'n Low into his cup and took a mouthful as Robin watched on with a vaguely horrified expression. Cesc explained, "I have a sweet tooth."
"I see that."
They drank in silence for several moments. Then, Cesc said, "You never answered my question."
"Hm?"
"Did you come to see me?"
Robin said nothing at first. Cesc had almost given up expecting an answer, though he was content in their companionable quiet, when he felt gloved fingers tentatively brushing against his own. "I brought coffee for two, Cesc. And I don't know about your dog, but my cat doesn't need a boost of caffeine."
"Oh." Cesc pinked. "All right, then."
Title: The Truth About Cats and Dogs
Rating: PG
Pairing: Cesc Fàbregas/Robin van Persie
Disclaimer: Fiction.
Summary: Condensed romcom - Cesc and Adonis meet Robin, who has an angry cat.
It wasn't their usual walking time. They had already been out that morning, but Cesc had eaten two slices of cheesecake after supper and Adonis had had a little extra meaty chunks in his bacon and liver mix; so, when Adonis came padding up to Cesc with his leash in his mouth and casting hopeful eyes at the door, Cesc only rubbed his own aching belly, finished his beer, and said, "All right, then."
The sky was golden as Cesc and his dog started down the road. By the time they reached Highbury Fields, a gradient of the sunset had taken over: dark violet stretched overhead, then pinker and pinker, peach, amber, and a wide strip of glowing tangerine yellow on the horizon. It was beautiful, like an arrangement of his best cupcakes, or, better, the burst of their flavours in his mouth - no, even better, it was sublime. Cesc thought, Maybe Adonis is onto something with walking at this time of day.
But the thought was brief, for at that moment Adonis let out a shrill cry - or maybe it was his owner who squealed - as some kind of a beast came around the trees and barrelled into them. The beast mewled a terrible mew and started batting at Adonis's tail, which Adonis was trying very hard to hide, and their leashes wound a tangled mess around Cesc's legs. Belatedly, as he fought to remain upright, Cesc noticed that there was a man attached to the beast's leash and that the beast was actually a cat - a hissing bully of a cat, apparently, but a cat nonetheless.
"Sorry! I'm so sorry," the cat-owner said, trying to steady Cesc with one hand and extricate his pet monster with the other. "I don't know what's got into Cheetah! I promise she's not usually like this. It must be the dark that's scaring her; we don't usually walk so late, you see."
"Who even walks a cat?" Cesc demanded once he was free. The cat was caged in her owner's arms now, but Adonis was still cowering behind Cesc's knees, so Cesc felt justified in avenging the previous injustice. "Aren't normal cats supposed to lounge around the house and bitch about how life is so bourgeois?"
"I do," the cat-owner said, frowning. "And I don't know about your dog, but my cat doesn't talk. Just... I'll have you know, Cheetah is extraordinarily athletic. And otherwise normal."
"Normal cats don't attack innocent puppies!"
The cat-owner seemed for a moment as though he was going to dispute that statement of complete and utter truth but caught himself before doing. Instead, he gave Cesc a funny look, made Cesc squirm a bit on the inside and feel subjected to a pseudo-scientific scrutiny, before dropping his gaze to Adonis and then following down on his knees.
"What are you doing?" Cesc said, suspicious.
"Cheetah and I would like to apologise to..."
"Adonis," Cesc supplied. He shrugged at the cat-owner's loaded glance. He had wanted to name the dog Ares, like the god of war, or something exceptionally butch and fear-inspiring, like Spike or Alfonso, but... well, look at him! One look at that face and Cesc had known he had adopted a bona fide stud.
"Adonis, then. Adonis," the cat-owner said, looking Cesc's dog in the eye, "Cheetah and I are very sorry to have caused you any pain or trauma this evening." Adonis whimpered, clearly in agreement. "I know, I know," the cat-owner continued soothingly. "We have wronged you grievously. Can you please find it in your majestic heart of hearts to forgive us? Please? We promise it won't happen again."
It didn't take long for the dog to make up his mind. Adonis whimpered again, but Cesc knew that this time it was a helpless reaction to the cat-owner's undeniable charm. Cesc was also about two seconds away from simpering at the man and barely contained himself in time to manage a more dignified lip-twitch. Then Adonis barked happily and licked at the cat-owner's face, and Cesc felt oddly jealous that his puppy got there first. He tugged at Adonis's collar as the cat-owner stood up.
"I am sorry for disturbing your night," he said, giving Cesc that curious look again and petting his cat absently. "I usually walk her in the morning, but I was running late today, so we postponed it."
"It's fine," Cesc said, suddenly feeling a little flustered. "Adonis and I are morning walkers too. We just... ate too much tonight and needed the exercise." Stupid, so stupid. He didn't need to know that.
"Yeah? The pair of you looks quite fit to me."
Cesc might have whimpered a little. He tried to mask it with a cough.
"I'm Robin," the cat-owner now known as Robin said.
"Cesc."
"Hello Cesc, it's nice to meet you." Robin smiled. "Would you and your superlative Adonis like to continue walking with me and my cat?"
Cesc looked down at Adonis, who wagged his tail bashfully. "All right," he said, and slowly smiled back.
It was easy to talk to Robin, which made Cesc feel comfortable enough to begin flirting in return. He tried to be a little coyer than Robin, though, whose brazen smiles and straight responses spoke of uninhibited interest in Cesc. At least, Cesc thought so.
"What is your job?" Robin was asking as they trailed behind Adonis and Cheetah, who seemed to be getting on much better now that they had teamed up to chase the park squirrels. Well, Cheetah was chasing the squirrels. Adonis had tastefully decided to cheerlead the expedition.
"I'm a baker," Cesc said, beaming. "Arsène's Sweetiecakes, near Chinatown. Have you been there?"
"No, but I'll try to stop by next time I'm picking up egg foo young for dinner." Robin grinned mischievously. "So... sweetiecakes?"
"Don't knock them until you try them. Anyway, what do you do?"
Robin shrugged. "I'm a professional childminder."
"What? You're a babysitter?" Cesc laughed.
"Professional childminder," Robin corrected, but he was smiling too. "A caregiver."
"A nanny," Cesc teased gleefully. "No, a male nanny - a manny! A regular Joe Frost."
"That's cute."
No, you are, Cesc wanted to say, but he settled for blushing instead. "Do you work with one family, then, or do you have multiple clients?"
"Just the one, for a single mother who has become a close friend of mine. Her children, Shaqueel and Dina Layla, are practically my own. I adore them."
"How did you get into mannying?"
Robin smiled at him and only said, "I like kids."
"Oh," Cesc said, and melted on the inside.
Cesc decided to employ his best ninja skills when they approached the edge of the park. "What time do you usually walk Cheetah?" he asked. Keep it cool, real smooth.
"About half-six."
Cesc tried not to cringe. He and Adonis often didn't make it out of the flat until 08:45 or sometimes nine. But what came out of his mouth was, somehow, "Oh, wow, that's kind of late. Adonis and I are usually here around six." Then, before Robin could do more than lift a shoulder in apology, Cesc continued airily, "Who knows? Maybe we'll see you around some time."
"Maybe," Robin agreed. "It was nice meeting you, Cesc. And you!" He bent to ruffle the dog's fine black fur and scratch beneath his chin, which always made Adonis docile and kind of weepy. "Adonis, King of wild things, it was my pleasure. I do hope to see you again."
Adonis woofed.
Cesc's alarm rang at 06:15 the next morning. He snoozed for five minutes, and after a quick wash-up, went to wake Adonis from his doggy bed.
"Baby," he crooned when Adonis opened one eye and lifted a lazy paw in protest. "It's time for our walk." Adonis grunted. "I know, it's earlier than usual. But remember the nice, handsome man? Yeah, mate, we might see him again. His beastly cat will be there too, unfortunately, but you can play wingman for your daddy, can't you?" Adonis closed his eye. "Baby! You were so supportive last night. Come on, stud, you know we've been so lonely. Let's go, and maybe, eventually, one day, you'll have two daddies, okay? Two."
Of course Adonis couldn't say no to that.
Cesc smelled the coffee before he saw Robin sitting on the bench with two cups in hand. He let Adonis off the leash to go join Cheetah in naughty frolicking and casually sat down.
"Hi. Are you sure you didn't come this early just to see me? Because that's a lot of coffee for one bloke."
Robin laughed. "One of them is for you. I hope I won't be considered presumptuous."
"You won't be if I'm getting free coffee," Cesc said and gladly took the cup.
"Do you take it black?"
"Um..."
Robin laughed again and produced a zipper bag full of sweeteners. "No cream or milk, I'm afraid, but maybe these will help?"
Cesc grabbed the bag with greedy hands. "Yes!" He dumped eight packets of Sweet'n Low into his cup and took a mouthful as Robin watched on with a vaguely horrified expression. Cesc explained, "I have a sweet tooth."
"I see that."
They drank in silence for several moments. Then, Cesc said, "You never answered my question."
"Hm?"
"Did you come to see me?"
Robin said nothing at first. Cesc had almost given up expecting an answer, though he was content in their companionable quiet, when he felt gloved fingers tentatively brushing against his own. "I brought coffee for two, Cesc. And I don't know about your dog, but my cat doesn't need a boost of caffeine."
"Oh." Cesc pinked. "All right, then."