It seems...
I have figured out the reason why, some how, I refuse to work on Beat Artist. For me, that was a fun little project that I worked on in school. Whenever I had free time I'd write a little. Five minutes there, ten minutes here, etc; and by the end of the month, a new chapter was born. But now, I don't have that same liberty. Sure, I have all the time in the world, but I don't have the same motivation to do it. Not to mention the multitude of other things I can do instead when I'm not doing anything. Things such as tv, computer, games, etc. The writing part is just not as strong when I'm at home. So, I figure, once school starts up again, I'll work on it between, during, and after classes. I know it'll be a cinch to pick it up once more. Until then, to the story board.
*
Summer sucks. Sure it started off nice. What with the friends, and events, and what not, but now? It's nothing to be excited about it. Because it is literally that. Nothing. I haven't seen my friends in weeks now. I miss them so much. I have no where to go. So, I sit in my room all day, aimlessly browsing the internet and accomplishing nothing at the same time. How sad is that? This is my life currently. While everyone is out doing their own thing, I watch the world go by. But it's not like I CAN'T go out and do something, oh no, it's the fact that I do not want to go out. I don't want to go out by myself. I mean, what the fuck is there to do by myself? Jack off? Nothing. All things fun involve other people. And god forbid I ask someone to go do something. They're always busy, or ignoring me, or can't hold a fucking conversation because they can't take ten fucking seconds out of their day to type a reply text. Fuck. It just makes me realize I have no fucking real friends. I like to believe I do; after all, I know wonderful people. And I can surround myself with aquaintences all I damn well please, but in the end I only have one true friend. Myself. I'm a pathetic, self-absorbed, self-hating, ugly, anti-social loser who has nothing to do all day except sit his fat ass on his bed and type on a computer to some fucking website to people who aren't even reading this.
*
On a completely different side note,
There are so many things I wanted to do this summer. One i got to do. Anime Expo. Which was fucking amazing. The others, failed. I wanted to go to the beach a lot. But no one to go with. I wanted to see all the movies coming out, but no one to go with. I wanted to go to a few raves. But money is tight, considering all the expenses. I can deal with that...'cept...you guessed it, no one to go with.
There is one coming up called "The Lost City of Atlantis", I really hope to go. It's pretty cheap consdering right now. So maybe I'll find someone to go with? News later if I go *eye roll*
I dumped Jesus. Well, technically I said we should take a break, but that was just my excuse because I don't know how to turn people down/break up. Then, we stopped talking. I didn't mind. THEN, my phone service was turned off. He found out because he's a fucking myspace creeper, and seemed a little upset when he messaged me on myspace. We havn't talk since. And there is no fucking way I'm tweeting I have my phone back up and running because it'll just update myspace too, and I don't want him texting me. Sure he was nice, but like I said, I don't know how to turn people down.
...
"Hey OP! Why did you dump him?"
Great question my little anonymous. The reason being is that he didn't trust me. One, because I rave. Fuck him, I knew exactly where he was going with that. he didn't have elabortae, even though he said he got past that and said he couldn't stop me. FUCK YEAH I do drugs there. So fucking what? Live a little. And two, because of the people on my friends list on myspace. The random (attractive) guys who added me. He said he didn't know what I was doing and thought I was flirting with other guys. OH! And get this! I breaks up with me, only later THAT NIGHT sends me a text PLEADING he made a mistake and would try (not WOULD) to trust me and to take him back. Hmm...no. I beat around the bush for about three hours not giving him a straight answer, hoping he'd take the hint. No such luck. So a couple days later I suggest the take a break thing. And now, out of my hair for good.
I have an assessment test for LBCC on August 9th. And the an orientation workshop on the 10th. I know that somehow I will end up getting butt fucked out of something. And ugh...someone told me we had to take a physical education class. FUCK! I was thinking weight training. But I'd be so embarassed. I'm not that strong. I was think a sport. I'm not good at sports and am uncoordinated. I wondered if they have swimming. I can swim. But then I remembered my hair. So fuck that. I could deal with my low self esteem in my body, but I don't spend 25 minutes straightening my hair for no god damn reason.
I dunno if I should mention this, but I did something with somebody. It was not the pre-mention, now-ex. And it was fucking hot <3 I told him let's not let things get weird between us. And for awhile it didn't. He'd still talk to be about his relationship problems. Yes, he cheated on his boyfriend with me. I didn't mind.
And we'd still just talk about random things. For awhile, things got flirty. But then, he broke up wit his boyfriend. And a few days after...we stopped talking. Well, he wouldn't reply. Then when we started talking again, he said his ex was all emo now 'cause he found out that he was "talking" to another guy so soon. This kinda hurt me as well. I had started to like him on more than a friend basis. Then he tells me that. Obviously he didn't know my feelings. But hey, I'm used to it by now. I'm never anything more than a friend/aquaintance/ or a piece of meat in men's eyes. especially to those I like/have feelings for.
I downloaded a really cool emulator for my computer. It's basically a GB/GBC/GBA. I have four games. Robopon: Sun Version; an awesome robot capturing, raising, and fighting game. Very much like Pokemon, only with robots. Then I got Dragon Warrior Monsters. This was/is my favorite game of all time. More than pokemon. It's plot ran deeper than pokemon, and it's gameplay was so much more in-depth. Also the home to my love, Blizzardy. The ice pheonix. The next game is Dragon Warrior Monsters 2: Tara/Cobi's Adventure. Basically same game; but plot/situations/+more were different. The first one was better, IMO anyways. These three games have been out for at least 10+ years now. So retro. And so loving it. Last but not least, it would not be complete without Pokemon. Pokemon Emerald to be exact. My favorite game of all five generations of pokemon.
*Drum Roll* Guess who found a job!? So, my aunt work at wal-mart. And she is the manager there. Soooo, I got the hook ups. Not much. She said she could get me a cashier's job working there. The one I'd rather work at, would be the one in the Long Beach Town Center, since it's so close. But she doesn't work there. She works at the one in HUNTINGTON BEACH! Fuck that's far. But I have ways of getting there if needed. Although, she said she'd pull some strings and make some calls to the one in long beach to try for a position there. That's a maybe. The one in huntington beach is a definite. So either way, I'll have a job soon. I just want money to spend really. Treat myself to some nice, new clothes every once inawhile, instead of having to wear the same things all the time. Then I won't have to worry about money for other things I want to do. Raves, movies, fast food, basically all the things I'm so concerned about spending money on. Also, I want to move out. I want to be rid of this hell hole. But I do realize that all this won't come 'till after a few paychecks. I'm not stupid.
The announcements for Pokemon Black and White keep getting better and better. Munna got an evolution. They introduced the antagonist, who is presumably a man reffered to as "N". The new group is called Team Plasma. They are sexy fuckers. Dressed like knights, they will surely destroy the Isshu Region <3 The Isshu Region looks like New York o_O A part of New York state. The manhattan area. Stantler, presumably, got a prevolution. It's too cute. Luvdisc got an evolution...fuck luvdisc. Victini, a pokemon in the category of mew, jirachi, celebi, and shaymin, has been announced. It's an ugly little fucker. Um, what else...oh, the game is going to be loaded with new features. Most utilize the wifi funtions and all sorts of things of the DSi. I really have to get a DSi x_x Can't fucking wait <3
I'd write another rant, but I'm too lazy and have no motivation to do so.
This has been in my head for awhile...the fact that I have so much to type. This little entry being only one thing. I'm so bogged down and distracted by the vastness of the interwebs, that I ADD over everything little things and never finish anything. I'm letting people down. Feels bad man.
Isn't random switching of topics just fun? I don't care.