(no subject)
i hate life. i hate you especially. i think you are so fake. i worry about you becuase i don't think you realize your faults and so you're going to end up in the same trouble and it makes me sad when i watch people in situations that will make them unhappy. you worry too much. you choose to make yourself as unattractive as possible (which is probably for the best). i am always amused by you but worry about us being friends. you are my favorite person in the world and i would do anything for you, eat onions, throw up, not wear a bra, poop in public, go to school naked, stick something in my eye, live without air conditioning. i hate when you write nm. i hate eating food and feeling sick. i hate being fat. i hate that you are better than me, even though i don't think you are and i think i am being judged unfairly. i hate that i could have been everything you like about her but i wasted my time being with you. i hate this. i hate here. i hate that this is happening. i hate papers. i hate deadlines. i hate you. i hate you a lot. i hate gainesville. i hate right now.
i really want to shave my head because im angry and hurt and i dont want to be pretty and i want to tell myself that the reason im unliked is my hair, and i can comfort myself by telling myself over and over that you're being mean to me because you only liked my looks and i fucked them up.
oh, and i wish this all weren't happening.
and one of my tamagotchi's is ugly.
i hate that no matter what i do it all ends up the same. i wish i could really believe this and stop killing myself for your sake when you're just going to ignore it?
i really want to shave my head because im angry and hurt and i dont want to be pretty and i want to tell myself that the reason im unliked is my hair, and i can comfort myself by telling myself over and over that you're being mean to me because you only liked my looks and i fucked them up.
oh, and i wish this all weren't happening.
and one of my tamagotchi's is ugly.
i hate that no matter what i do it all ends up the same. i wish i could really believe this and stop killing myself for your sake when you're just going to ignore it?