[001] March 7, 2008; fifteen minutes into the flight to China.

[curseyouxerox]

Help help! Is this message showing up on anyone else's Billbery? This is George Darrow, Intern for Public Relations, Business Class Upper Deck 81C -- can someone please help me with my seat-belt? I've tried to undo the buckle for the last ten minutes and I SWEAR I actually paid attention during the safety demonstration given by the flight

Comments

[khaaaan]

Can you hear me laughing all the way back there? Because I'm seriously busting a gut.

Thanks for getting this flight off to a great start, Georgie Porgie.

[curseyouxerox]

I think it's fantastic that you've got an excellent sense of humour, sir, but I don't think it would be very funny if I had to get BOTH legs and other parts of my anatomy amputated, would it? I'm glad to hear you're enjoying yourself already though.

[khaaaan]

I don't know, I think it'd be pretty chuckle-worthy.

We could throw you in the lake and call you Bob.

[curseyouxerox]

I don't really like the sound of that suggestion, sir -- what if I drowned? Wouldn't that reflect poorly on the rest of the company?

[khaaaan]

No more than your inability to work a seatbelt does.

[curseyouxerox]

Being somewhat confused on how an airplane seat-belt is supposed to be undone when Mom isn't here to do it for me is, I think, hardly as problematic as the company having an accidental death or would it be manslaughter in this case? on the record, sir. But I'm just an intern, so what would I know, right?

[khaaaan]

Being unable to operate a seatbelt reveals that we have shockingly low standards for our internship programs, which could be a matter of public disgrace.

Whereas your untimely death, while unfortunate, would be a minimal loss, because the lives of interns do not have the same value as those of normal people.

[curseyouxerox]

I don't think my ability to operate a seat-belt ever came up during the interview, sir, and I've done all of the work I've been assigned all right -- just ask Mr. Gallagher. And sometimes, I like being rescued, so I --

Interns are normal people too, aren't they?

[khaaaan]

Yeah, neither did being able to feed and dress yourself for the same reason.

Some things you just assume a human being to be capable of without royally fucking up.

[spinphd]

Lindsey.

[khaaaan]

Just playing!

Georgie knows it, don't you GP?

[spinphd]

Darrow has work to do, Lindsey; I'll thank you to leave him to it. Kindly cease harrassing my interns unless I think they deserve it.

[khaaaan]

Fine, you can distract me with that drink.

I'll come slum in with you and Savoy.

[curseyouxerox]

Thank you, sir; and that work will be done by the deadline you had designated, if not earlier.