[001] March 7, 2008; fifteen minutes into the flight to China.

[curseyouxerox]

Help help! Is this message showing up on anyone else's Billbery? This is George Darrow, Intern for Public Relations, Business Class Upper Deck 81C -- can someone please help me with my seat-belt? I've tried to undo the buckle for the last ten minutes and I SWEAR I actually paid attention during the safety demonstration given by the flight

Comments

[savoytruffled]

Calm down, Darrow.

[curseyouxerox]

I AM calm, or at least I am by my standards. Are you coming to rescue me, or is someone else being sent over? I think my LEGS are starting to go numb ALREADY.

[savoytruffled]

You aren't my intern, but I suspect being left to sort this out on your own is for your own good.

Still, here's a tip. There's a small button with the silhouette of a person on the console above your head. Press it.

[curseyouxerox]

Well, to be honest, ma'am, I suppose there's something to be said about learning things on my own, although I don't know how 'for my own good' it will be if I lose circulation in my legs before I sort it out. Thank you for the wise words though, ma'am.

Are you COMPLETELY sure? Not that I have doubts about your intelligence, ma'am, but you did hear about the last Xerox machine I touched, right? Buttons and I don't get along, I'm afraid.

[coxsure]

Being afraid to press a button is letting the Xerox machine win.

[curseyouxerox]

Is that even supposed to make any sense, sir?

[coxsure]

With the right mindset, you can master the machine. Don't let one bad experience dictate the rest of them.

[curseyouxerox]

Well, I don't think it's really me so much as the company doesn't want me to cause another explosion in the office, or whatever it was that happened. I think I've tried to block it out my memory by now.

[coxsure]

You sound like you could do with reading one of my books. If you want, I'll sign a copy for you when we get back, kid.

[curseyouxerox]

You're very generous, sir, but I wouldn't want to trouble you. I won't read it anyway.

[savoytruffled]

Much as I appreciate well-meaning obsequiousness--desist.

As long as you don't hit the oxygen mask button--and the call button is quite clearly marked, I believe--you ought to be right as rain, with blood in all the appropriate places.