(no subject)
How...can any of you ever be as sad as you are? You've all got so much more than me. I think...that Steven is the closest person in background to me, I mean, the guy lost all his fucking friends to death, and I lost mine cus well...moved and just kind of quit talking...
Everyone of you has friends that you have countless memories with, you have friends that would die for you, lie for you, kill for you, and you have countless numbers of them, but you still seem to cry at night. I don't cry, mostly because I don't have much water in me to cry out, but I've been through...an incredible amount of shit, and maybe I'm just better at keeping it kept inside? Maybe I can keep a "straight" face and joke throughout every day and just keep fronting like I don't even care.
I don't know, the stars aren't there, so I just kind of close my eyes at night now
A guy came to school once back in elementary school once, like 5th grade or some shit, I don't remember. Anyways, he mentioned something about our futures and if we could take a trip anywhere in the world, where would we go? Looking back on that question a little while ago I would have said to the past, but now I'm not so sure. I think...I'd just go somewhere where everyone was happy, an optimistic place and push myself into optimism. I know that if I did get to such a place and my pessimism brought the rest of them down, then I would hate myself severely. It's like that rotten apple saying, "one rotten apple can ruin the rest of the bunch". If I couldn't find happiness in that optimistic dream city, then I would have to go to some ice filled wasteland near one of the poles of Earth.
I've seen myself ready to leave, I've gotten in my car and made it past Parkton or whatever the fuck the name of that little town place is and I would just get somewhere where I was reminded of something or where I felt regret or some shit that I don't even remember right now, but I turned around all three times.
Maybe I just miss Middle School too much, where I didn't have shit to worry about.
I went home every day and played some basketball with Eddie, Stephon, sometimes Nick, Tremaine, Josh, whoever all was up for a game. Me, Eddie, and Steph, we were the trio back then. Chilling, playing the video games, watching bootlegs, I stole Steph's bro Keeshan's weed, Keeshan's girl braiding our hairs, the dog's and the dogfights, tackle football in the streets (STUPID), running deep into the woods and just chilling for the day at the lake, grilling hot dogs and shit, throwing waterguns down flights of stairs into the backs of people's heads cus they came up into your house trying to take shit, me sitting on my bed making out with someone and those dipshits somehow getting into my back door and coming up into my room with a camera, Steph breaking my mom's bedroom door cus the bitch is 12 feet tall and he tripped, Eddie gettin his bike stolen by some niggas walking from our school or something, all the black people trying to get up with Taleedra, that one dumbass that rode their bike down that hill and didn't know how to use brakes and hit the A/C unit and made a huge fucking mess with blood, ballin up 20 year old scrubs that lived on my street, though they're cool, faking my voice for the 20 year old scrub Chris's 19 year old sister so that her Dad will let her go to a party, hanging with Ryan while he was still there, DBZ days, our "fights", many a holes that have been implanted into the walls of my old house, St. Lunatic rap-offs, jumping off buildings, LV trying to get up with that one hispanic slut that moved in, getting my heart ripped out and thrown into a pit of shit for the first time, trying to find out if we could survive jumping out of my window or not, just for the hell of things, and the mudhole behind my house that froze over in the winter and captured idiot children and their bikes.
Damn good times
Everyone of you has friends that you have countless memories with, you have friends that would die for you, lie for you, kill for you, and you have countless numbers of them, but you still seem to cry at night. I don't cry, mostly because I don't have much water in me to cry out, but I've been through...an incredible amount of shit, and maybe I'm just better at keeping it kept inside? Maybe I can keep a "straight" face and joke throughout every day and just keep fronting like I don't even care.
I don't know, the stars aren't there, so I just kind of close my eyes at night now
A guy came to school once back in elementary school once, like 5th grade or some shit, I don't remember. Anyways, he mentioned something about our futures and if we could take a trip anywhere in the world, where would we go? Looking back on that question a little while ago I would have said to the past, but now I'm not so sure. I think...I'd just go somewhere where everyone was happy, an optimistic place and push myself into optimism. I know that if I did get to such a place and my pessimism brought the rest of them down, then I would hate myself severely. It's like that rotten apple saying, "one rotten apple can ruin the rest of the bunch". If I couldn't find happiness in that optimistic dream city, then I would have to go to some ice filled wasteland near one of the poles of Earth.
I've seen myself ready to leave, I've gotten in my car and made it past Parkton or whatever the fuck the name of that little town place is and I would just get somewhere where I was reminded of something or where I felt regret or some shit that I don't even remember right now, but I turned around all three times.
Maybe I just miss Middle School too much, where I didn't have shit to worry about.
I went home every day and played some basketball with Eddie, Stephon, sometimes Nick, Tremaine, Josh, whoever all was up for a game. Me, Eddie, and Steph, we were the trio back then. Chilling, playing the video games, watching bootlegs, I stole Steph's bro Keeshan's weed, Keeshan's girl braiding our hairs, the dog's and the dogfights, tackle football in the streets (STUPID), running deep into the woods and just chilling for the day at the lake, grilling hot dogs and shit, throwing waterguns down flights of stairs into the backs of people's heads cus they came up into your house trying to take shit, me sitting on my bed making out with someone and those dipshits somehow getting into my back door and coming up into my room with a camera, Steph breaking my mom's bedroom door cus the bitch is 12 feet tall and he tripped, Eddie gettin his bike stolen by some niggas walking from our school or something, all the black people trying to get up with Taleedra, that one dumbass that rode their bike down that hill and didn't know how to use brakes and hit the A/C unit and made a huge fucking mess with blood, ballin up 20 year old scrubs that lived on my street, though they're cool, faking my voice for the 20 year old scrub Chris's 19 year old sister so that her Dad will let her go to a party, hanging with Ryan while he was still there, DBZ days, our "fights", many a holes that have been implanted into the walls of my old house, St. Lunatic rap-offs, jumping off buildings, LV trying to get up with that one hispanic slut that moved in, getting my heart ripped out and thrown into a pit of shit for the first time, trying to find out if we could survive jumping out of my window or not, just for the hell of things, and the mudhole behind my house that froze over in the winter and captured idiot children and their bikes.
Damn good times