to him

[cursedlips]

sooo confused. my mind always seems to be tracked with one boy. well for the past two years it's been two boys [dallas and now landon]. i always thought after i had the baby we'd stay together and raise landon together because that's what i was promised time and time again. a lot of promises were broken from the both of us. it's just hard seeing what could've been done different but it all made us stronger nonetheless. 2007 is approaching pretty darn quick. january 12, 2007 would've made it FOUR fricken years. lonnnnnnnnng time. we've had our good days and definitely had our share of bad days but honestly, i loved every minute of it. i love you for giving me our son. that's something NO GIRL can take away or replace. you were my first real love and my only so far, but maybe it is time to put everything behind us and move on for good? i'm so sick of being told stuff by "people", and by people i mean one person, the things you're saying which really are hurtful and then i question you about it and you say you dont know what im talking about. what we have right now isn't healthy. i'm not going to be used when it's convenient for you and you know what i mean by that. i will never stop loving you, ever. but i just want someone to love me for me and treat me right and not be afraid what his friends might say.

i probably just wasted my time typing that but oh well at least it felt good to vent.

oh yeah and if you dont like what you're reading, quit reading my journal.