(no subject)
Well I thought I would post something today.
It's been a while since I've stuck down my thoughts onto a page, and I gotta say I'm sort of miffed at how somethings in my life are going, other things are doing well, I've got a sweet girl who likes me for who I am, even though she lives in California. Other things aren't going as well, I was declined for my finacial aid for school, so I'm throwing that all out and going to get myself a job and see if I can't keep that up for a while. If I can't keep myself employed I might look into disability for my depression, and maybe get a study done, I haven't been able to hold a job for very long. Other then that I don't feel right... like I'm not happy, but then I'm drugged so I don't really feel sad very often... it's like I'm sitting on a large rock I can't get down but it doesn't bother me and it should. Like I'm hungry but full at the same time... I'm... comfortably numb. I'd really like to feel like I could feel again but it doesn't seem to want to happen.
I've been sleeping a lot lately, and conciousness just seems to be that horrible period between being 'Off'. Good news is I get to see my friends more often then I use to, Cory, Randy, Colin, Jon, and I get together every two weeks and role play, last week we played Vampire where I threw something strange and random at them, seeing as there Vampires playing in a Werewolf Storyline (go Pentex!). Though I'm not sure what really to throw at them as they're Anarchs in a Camerilla/Sabbat Contested City.
I've stopped playing Exalted online, since they've decided to screw everyone and close the first edition game and get rid of all our Storytellers, which means I'm stranded with a character who's marked for Deletion on Nov 20th.
Besides Gaming, I'm not doing a whole lot, and it's getting to me I think. Part of me wants to just leave and go... where I'm not sure but going is what I feel like I need to do. I just might too but I've got things that tie me here, one of them being Stina who's coming from California to see me. <3
I think to much is what I think, or I don't think about the right things. We seriously think we're in trouble, and we need to get some guidence, or counciling.
-eL'z