Let's try this one more time, with feeling.
Great Weekend.
Especially Saturday. Got to talk to someone I haven't heard from in a while. Still a cool guy. Too bad he's a stupid fuck. Well, that's what you get when you have uprotected sex, a gay guy who won't stop calling you, an assload of sperm in your butt, irritable bowel syndrome, and a mouth covered in herpes sores. I'm kidding, but it just goes to show you that it could be much worse.
I also hung out with my ex on Saturday after hitting the mall, well, another one of my ex's, seeing how the guy with the herpes is my ex too. He's grown up a lot, I'm impressed. Maybe, just maybe ... nah.
I got my LBC virginity taken from me on Saturday as well. It was beautiful. I also found the man whom I will marry, er, another man I will marry, seeing how I've been married about 3 times before. He hails from a band called swizzletree and goes by the name of Steve. I'm carrying his lovechild.
You know what the best part of falling in love is? The oral sex.
Speaking of, Happy [belated] Birthday Cari! If I saw you yesterday I would have jumped out of a cake for you. Naked. But wearing a birthday hat of course, gotta keep it classy.
I really love this time of year. I don't think I ever have before, but I do now. Maybe its because I know I'm growing up, and this will probably be a part of the best times of my life. I'm excited.
"Oh my, don't grab your balls like that"
"Oh yeah, my son Bobby's around here, but I don't know where he is. Oh, there he is, doing intervenous drugs and having sex with band whores."
"Oh, dear sweet jesus, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"
Do you think it's weird to shit your pants while you sleep? Not that I do, but I did last night, and I was wondering if that's what smells.
Yesterday I was working on smiley faces while I was IMing someone:
;o Orgasm smiley face
:> Lips were caught in the vaccuum hose smiley face
:D) Fat fuck smiley face
X0 Getting my ass kicked smiley face
:@ Saw grandma naked smiley face
:o Found out you slept with your sibling last night smiley face
%o Trippin' on acid smiley face
|o I hate giving blowjobs and I better get something in return, smiley face
;. My boyfriend just spewed a load of cum in my eye smiley face
People shouldn't take me seriously. At all.
Especially Saturday. Got to talk to someone I haven't heard from in a while. Still a cool guy. Too bad he's a stupid fuck. Well, that's what you get when you have uprotected sex, a gay guy who won't stop calling you, an assload of sperm in your butt, irritable bowel syndrome, and a mouth covered in herpes sores. I'm kidding, but it just goes to show you that it could be much worse.
I also hung out with my ex on Saturday after hitting the mall, well, another one of my ex's, seeing how the guy with the herpes is my ex too. He's grown up a lot, I'm impressed. Maybe, just maybe ... nah.
I got my LBC virginity taken from me on Saturday as well. It was beautiful. I also found the man whom I will marry, er, another man I will marry, seeing how I've been married about 3 times before. He hails from a band called swizzletree and goes by the name of Steve. I'm carrying his lovechild.
You know what the best part of falling in love is? The oral sex.
Speaking of, Happy [belated] Birthday Cari! If I saw you yesterday I would have jumped out of a cake for you. Naked. But wearing a birthday hat of course, gotta keep it classy.
I really love this time of year. I don't think I ever have before, but I do now. Maybe its because I know I'm growing up, and this will probably be a part of the best times of my life. I'm excited.
"Oh my, don't grab your balls like that"
"Oh yeah, my son Bobby's around here, but I don't know where he is. Oh, there he is, doing intervenous drugs and having sex with band whores."
"Oh, dear sweet jesus, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"
Do you think it's weird to shit your pants while you sleep? Not that I do, but I did last night, and I was wondering if that's what smells.
Yesterday I was working on smiley faces while I was IMing someone:
;o Orgasm smiley face
:> Lips were caught in the vaccuum hose smiley face
:D) Fat fuck smiley face
X0 Getting my ass kicked smiley face
:@ Saw grandma naked smiley face
:o Found out you slept with your sibling last night smiley face
%o Trippin' on acid smiley face
|o I hate giving blowjobs and I better get something in return, smiley face
;. My boyfriend just spewed a load of cum in my eye smiley face
People shouldn't take me seriously. At all.