Mass oodles of thoughts.
Semester break is finally here, a span of only a week left now. How short can it get?
Hong: Ms Adeline, why's our sem break only one week? So short!
Ms Adeline: Wei Hong, do you want to go to UniSA by February?
Hong: Haha, owh.
Ms Adeline: Yes, that's why.
Great answer.
***
For the past few days, I have yet to be doing anything useful enough for me to proudly tell my next semester's lecturers when they (might) ask us those same questions - how was ur break? what did you do for your break?
Ah well, sleeping has always been the popular answer among us students.
But here's a list of things I do plan to do:
+ finish up my Chapter 12 (it has been prolonged for far too long)
+do the SPECIALs that has been requested of me
+do some reading (another thing I havent been doing for long until HP7 came out)
+get back to art (which in my case, just means doodling)
Yeap, nothing special at all. Nothing "i have done something that can contribute to the benefits of this world" at all.
Well, writing is good enough I would say.
But seriously, when on earth am I going to finish my HE.AV.EN? At Chapter 12, the climax is yet to even arrive. And it amazes me that I've written over a hundred pages (A4 size, Times New Roman, pt 12). Last time I checked it was 123 pages...that did not include the 5 SPECIALs I did as a side story of the main plot and Chapter 12. I blame it on Adila.....challenging me, commanding me (of coz, u all might say I need not have obliged but as you can probably already tell from my blog entries...it ends up being longer than expected anyways) to challenge Harry Potter...to make it as thick as a brick. If I made it in novel-book size, i assure you, by the time I finish and end the story, it might JUST be that; as thick as a brick. Now, how big of a brick were you referring to, Adila?
I also remember Adila and Margaret sending me smses with threats of pointing a gun at my head if I do not finish the story or if I just decided to STOP and DROP the story. Haha, bribes would have worked better but nevertheless I did it to entertain my dear SPM-strained-and-stressed friends. As much as you all claim that it really relieves ya all...I never understood how it did. Especially Pong. Many a times, I just feel that it's all useless, it's all crap and yet you guys just praise it so, even claiming I would one day rival CLAMP (Pong) or receive some book award on TV (Adila) or putting alot of trust in me to write the script for your story blindly (Anisa). I am grateful and I am pleased but nonetheless the confidence, the motivation, the inspiration is not always there despite your words. I'm problematic, aren't I? Doubting your praises.
But what keeps me going is your reactions to my ideas. I'm glad when it turns out in a way you least expect it. Coz that's what i pride most in my stories. Cliffhangers and surprises and I-didnt-think-THIS-would-happen kinds. I'm not being cocky, I really do put in a lot of effort in creating these effects.
Argh, this is too long of an explanation. But I just wanted to write it out. You dont like it, it's fine.
To my HE.AV.EN readers, as I have mentioned before, Chapter 12 will be completed soon and most likely...the climax is about to come. It's been too long. And there's still a longer journey after the climax..it's a line of hills. More suspenses after another.
***
I dont understand why these days, there are some things I cant stand.
I dont know why I get irritated so easily when certain things happen.
I dont understand why, though I understand the reasons and conditions, I still cant accept such behaviour.
Why is it that you can just easily abandon us for another person? Dont you know that we, as your friends, love you just as much? But you just go ahead and skip out on us most of the time on us. Arent we just as important? I understand your circumstances, really, I do. But all the same, I still get irritated. It's not your fault, it would make me a bad friend to say that. I dont know if you know my annoyance. Sometimes, I get so irritated, I just give up talking to you. Coz if I continued, I would really burst. And then perhaps our friendship will be gone down the drain. Sigh, you're my friend but sometimes, dont abandon us so much. I do understand. And I'm sorry that I'm always so irritated but do understand on my part as well. Not just on mine, but on the rest of us. But it just seems that even when we tell you, you dont seem to care much anyways. So, i suppose we just have to leave it be.
I do wish for your happiness.
***
I havent been praying every night as I used to and though the guilt is there, I continued to not take up the reins and pray again. I do pray. Just not every night. And so, unable to bear it anymore, I started again last night. And pray, dear God, keep me going. My faith, i believe, is strong but my will never seems enough. I leave many things in God's hands and at the same time, work as hard as I can. God cant perform miracles without the person's faith and own strength.
Once in one of my church camps, one of the facilitators had a session and till this day, I remember it well. For those people who think you're ugly or not pretty enough, think of this (if you're a freethinker then unfortunately it probably wont work on you):
"God created man in His image..."
And so, if you think you're ugly, not pretty, not handsome, downright unable to even meet people, then is your point saying that God's image is also ugly, not pretty, not handsome, downright unable to even meet people?
Haha, to my dear frens from high school, you've probably heard this countless times. ^^;
***
I'm so bored with my livejournal layout...but I dont know exactly how to change it. The variety that Livejournal gives is simply just not...the kinds I want. But I like to think that somehow my blog layout looks so...sunshine-y...i dunno. Its my perspective. And no one leaves comments...they either dun leave comment or dont even tag in my CBox, either coz they cant find it or just...watever.
Haha, I'm being whiney. Sorry!
This is a long entry, full of words.
"Be inspired with what you have, for the less fortunate have even less to be inspired with..."
Hong: Ms Adeline, why's our sem break only one week? So short!
Ms Adeline: Wei Hong, do you want to go to UniSA by February?
Hong: Haha, owh.
Ms Adeline: Yes, that's why.
Great answer.
***
For the past few days, I have yet to be doing anything useful enough for me to proudly tell my next semester's lecturers when they (might) ask us those same questions - how was ur break? what did you do for your break?
Ah well, sleeping has always been the popular answer among us students.
But here's a list of things I do plan to do:
+ finish up my Chapter 12 (it has been prolonged for far too long)
+do the SPECIALs that has been requested of me
+do some reading (another thing I havent been doing for long until HP7 came out)
+get back to art (which in my case, just means doodling)
Yeap, nothing special at all. Nothing "i have done something that can contribute to the benefits of this world" at all.
Well, writing is good enough I would say.
But seriously, when on earth am I going to finish my HE.AV.EN? At Chapter 12, the climax is yet to even arrive. And it amazes me that I've written over a hundred pages (A4 size, Times New Roman, pt 12). Last time I checked it was 123 pages...that did not include the 5 SPECIALs I did as a side story of the main plot and Chapter 12. I blame it on Adila.....challenging me, commanding me (of coz, u all might say I need not have obliged but as you can probably already tell from my blog entries...it ends up being longer than expected anyways) to challenge Harry Potter...to make it as thick as a brick. If I made it in novel-book size, i assure you, by the time I finish and end the story, it might JUST be that; as thick as a brick. Now, how big of a brick were you referring to, Adila?
I also remember Adila and Margaret sending me smses with threats of pointing a gun at my head if I do not finish the story or if I just decided to STOP and DROP the story. Haha, bribes would have worked better but nevertheless I did it to entertain my dear SPM-strained-and-stressed friends. As much as you all claim that it really relieves ya all...I never understood how it did. Especially Pong. Many a times, I just feel that it's all useless, it's all crap and yet you guys just praise it so, even claiming I would one day rival CLAMP (Pong) or receive some book award on TV (Adila) or putting alot of trust in me to write the script for your story blindly (Anisa). I am grateful and I am pleased but nonetheless the confidence, the motivation, the inspiration is not always there despite your words. I'm problematic, aren't I? Doubting your praises.
But what keeps me going is your reactions to my ideas. I'm glad when it turns out in a way you least expect it. Coz that's what i pride most in my stories. Cliffhangers and surprises and I-didnt-think-THIS-would-happen kinds. I'm not being cocky, I really do put in a lot of effort in creating these effects.
Argh, this is too long of an explanation. But I just wanted to write it out. You dont like it, it's fine.
To my HE.AV.EN readers, as I have mentioned before, Chapter 12 will be completed soon and most likely...the climax is about to come. It's been too long. And there's still a longer journey after the climax..it's a line of hills. More suspenses after another.
***
I dont understand why these days, there are some things I cant stand.
I dont know why I get irritated so easily when certain things happen.
I dont understand why, though I understand the reasons and conditions, I still cant accept such behaviour.
Why is it that you can just easily abandon us for another person? Dont you know that we, as your friends, love you just as much? But you just go ahead and skip out on us most of the time on us. Arent we just as important? I understand your circumstances, really, I do. But all the same, I still get irritated. It's not your fault, it would make me a bad friend to say that. I dont know if you know my annoyance. Sometimes, I get so irritated, I just give up talking to you. Coz if I continued, I would really burst. And then perhaps our friendship will be gone down the drain. Sigh, you're my friend but sometimes, dont abandon us so much. I do understand. And I'm sorry that I'm always so irritated but do understand on my part as well. Not just on mine, but on the rest of us. But it just seems that even when we tell you, you dont seem to care much anyways. So, i suppose we just have to leave it be.
I do wish for your happiness.
***
I havent been praying every night as I used to and though the guilt is there, I continued to not take up the reins and pray again. I do pray. Just not every night. And so, unable to bear it anymore, I started again last night. And pray, dear God, keep me going. My faith, i believe, is strong but my will never seems enough. I leave many things in God's hands and at the same time, work as hard as I can. God cant perform miracles without the person's faith and own strength.
Once in one of my church camps, one of the facilitators had a session and till this day, I remember it well. For those people who think you're ugly or not pretty enough, think of this (if you're a freethinker then unfortunately it probably wont work on you):
"God created man in His image..."
And so, if you think you're ugly, not pretty, not handsome, downright unable to even meet people, then is your point saying that God's image is also ugly, not pretty, not handsome, downright unable to even meet people?
Haha, to my dear frens from high school, you've probably heard this countless times. ^^;
***
I'm so bored with my livejournal layout...but I dont know exactly how to change it. The variety that Livejournal gives is simply just not...the kinds I want. But I like to think that somehow my blog layout looks so...sunshine-y...i dunno. Its my perspective. And no one leaves comments...they either dun leave comment or dont even tag in my CBox, either coz they cant find it or just...watever.
Haha, I'm being whiney. Sorry!
This is a long entry, full of words.
"Be inspired with what you have, for the less fortunate have even less to be inspired with..."