hmmm this will seem depressing but i need to rant becase my sister wont listn bc shes a bitch
ok yet another entry tonight? why u may ask? because i need to vent!
ok so anyway there is a guy who shall remain nameless but over the past year i have hasd a relationship with him...he has been my boyfriend/ a brother figure/a pilar of strength and just an awsome person to have...i told him everything and all my feelings and he truly could jus about know more abot me then my own self...i talked to him everyday...he made me laugh...cheered me up....swept away every single fear...was my world when i didnt have one.....any u get the picture ok so well the past few weeks he has bitched me out for something that didnt evn involve him and i thought he would understand what i did above everyone else but i was wrong which hurt/confused me...well our converstaions have been gettin shorter, hes been gettin meaner and more confusing and he is a new person totally....he doesnt care anymore he doesnt have time for me anymore...he makes me cry which a month ago i thought was totally impossible for him to do..i dont i guess it just kinda confusing and i dont know...i was sooooo lucky to have him there for me too...bt i should of known it wouldnt last...hes tooo good for me...just when life was going really super great too.....i guss he has been under alot of stress with school/work/rugby and other shit like that but y is he taking that stress out on me like he would on a boxing bag or something? god i really wana know is what i did so i can fix it because if i cant tell him something then who can i tell it too????? gosh damn he sooo fucken confusing and its making me feel like shit in the long run so all i really wana tell him is to get shit figured out and when he is the same guy i knew then he can talk to me
see the thing is that he makes me feel like shit when he calls and makes me cry after but yet i carry my cell phone all around my hosue and i wait for his call...i dont get it...i set myself up for the pain so i deserve it...maybe i drove him away and maybe i said something or did something to make him resent me or make him turn aganist me i dont know...
all i know is that he calls..i answer...we talk...i cry and feel like shit....and frankly i dont wana do that anymore...i want my *name* back...the next time he calls i want it to be *name* but the old caring funny nd loving person who he used to be....not the new one...but ill answer and then there i go...the smile fades from my face to only be replaced by a frown and smeared tears....
o well...i gotta try to do my homework then probably cry then sleep!!!
bye yall!!!!
ok so anyway there is a guy who shall remain nameless but over the past year i have hasd a relationship with him...he has been my boyfriend/ a brother figure/a pilar of strength and just an awsome person to have...i told him everything and all my feelings and he truly could jus about know more abot me then my own self...i talked to him everyday...he made me laugh...cheered me up....swept away every single fear...was my world when i didnt have one.....any u get the picture ok so well the past few weeks he has bitched me out for something that didnt evn involve him and i thought he would understand what i did above everyone else but i was wrong which hurt/confused me...well our converstaions have been gettin shorter, hes been gettin meaner and more confusing and he is a new person totally....he doesnt care anymore he doesnt have time for me anymore...he makes me cry which a month ago i thought was totally impossible for him to do..i dont i guess it just kinda confusing and i dont know...i was sooooo lucky to have him there for me too...bt i should of known it wouldnt last...hes tooo good for me...just when life was going really super great too.....i guss he has been under alot of stress with school/work/rugby and other shit like that but y is he taking that stress out on me like he would on a boxing bag or something? god i really wana know is what i did so i can fix it because if i cant tell him something then who can i tell it too????? gosh damn he sooo fucken confusing and its making me feel like shit in the long run so all i really wana tell him is to get shit figured out and when he is the same guy i knew then he can talk to me
see the thing is that he makes me feel like shit when he calls and makes me cry after but yet i carry my cell phone all around my hosue and i wait for his call...i dont get it...i set myself up for the pain so i deserve it...maybe i drove him away and maybe i said something or did something to make him resent me or make him turn aganist me i dont know...
all i know is that he calls..i answer...we talk...i cry and feel like shit....and frankly i dont wana do that anymore...i want my *name* back...the next time he calls i want it to be *name* but the old caring funny nd loving person who he used to be....not the new one...but ill answer and then there i go...the smile fades from my face to only be replaced by a frown and smeared tears....
o well...i gotta try to do my homework then probably cry then sleep!!!
bye yall!!!!