how am I?
I am better. Still very angry about Into the Woods, but what can you do. On the bright side, I have more free time. So, I just went to therapy and it was very good. I am feeling better. There is still a long way to go but I am getting better. We talk about so many things but I always feel that the hour goes by so fast. I need more time because I have so much to talk about. I want to discuss everything. Today was a confusing day because I have standards for friends but I feel others standards are much higher so I much work harder to be someones friend (does that make sense). Well, I also talked about branching off from the drama group. I am hoping that I will hit it off with seth's group and be able to hang out with them. We shall see. We also talked about how this personality test I took. It said I was negative, insecure, and passive. It also talked about my fears and it was dead on: rejection, loneliness, failure...just to name a few. I feel that I have definitely become more positive and confident. I am still not a "positive person" but I'm better. I am hoping the fear of rejection with decrease in severity. It was big step asking seth to go to Morp with me and he said yes (well actually he said "yeh, sure why not") but still, its a big step. I hope the dance will be fun. I'm not nervous at all because I always feel 100% comfortable around Seth. I have accepted his bad traits and have no problem...after all, what boy doesn't think about boobs and sexual stuff. Only difference is Seth talks about it (at least he speaks his mind). I think it will be a lot of fun and a big confidence booster. Unfortunately, I always have this underlying feeling of sadness and I don't know why. Sometimes even when I feel comfortable in a situation, I feel sad. Its weird and I don't like it. Hopefully, therapy will get to the core of my problems and I will be able to forget about middle school and move on with life. I don't what to be this way forever. Middle School has stunted my emotional growth. I don't feel like I will be going to College soon. I still feel as if I should be in middle school. Is this one big thing in my past not allowing me to move on? or it is he middle school experience as a whole? um...something to ponder. that reminds me: kara, if you want to read my mutual respect speech talk to me about it. ok, well g2g. homework time. bye!