life
I haven't updated in a while so let me catch you all up. My life has been pretty good.
School Stuff
My grades are better than I expected, not great, but better. I still am going to have to work hard to get them up so I can get into a good college (far away form california). so, to stay on the topic of colleges, I met with my college counselor and she is great. She knows everything to know about college. I am the one who is still confused about what I want to do as a career. Should I go into theater or just do that as a hobbies? I love theater and I work hard but is that enough. Theater is the way for me to get away from who I am and become a different person. So, I have to decide what I want to major and minor in before I can really seriously look at my college options so I will have to do a lot of thinking in the next couple of months. School is much harder this year, and this is the most crucial year so I will have to work my butt off so my dad will be happy, but, don't worry, i can do it.
Social Stuff
I guess my social life is good. It has never been great but I feel that some people are nicer or at least notice my presence. I still have this feeling of fear and rejection and being judged but with certain people I feel it less or not at all. I feel that I have some really friends. yay! I have been talking to Kate (therapist) about this and she has helped but it is all about me and how I change. First I have to figure out why I am this way. By "this way' I mean, why do I feel like I am still in middle school? Why do I constantly feel like I am being judged? Why do a fear rejection to an extreme? and mainly why can't i change this? I need to investigate the major things in my past to find the root of being pessimistic, self-conscience and overall fearful. If you heard me speak at the freshman mutual respect assembly... well that speech was just the tip of the iceberg. I don't want to go to my past because a lot of bad memories will emerge and I am scared of how I will react. But I need to if I want to fix myself before college so a can be a happy healthy young adult. I would just like to say thank you to taylor, nani, and andrea because all of your support and kindness (and sarcasm in andreas case) has helped me so much with my confidence. I hope that I will continue to gain confidence and one day get to a happy place!
Into the Woods
All I have to say is auditions are monday. everyone pray, PRAY HARD that I get it. I want to get in so bad. well, g2g, time to practice my song!
School Stuff
My grades are better than I expected, not great, but better. I still am going to have to work hard to get them up so I can get into a good college (far away form california). so, to stay on the topic of colleges, I met with my college counselor and she is great. She knows everything to know about college. I am the one who is still confused about what I want to do as a career. Should I go into theater or just do that as a hobbies? I love theater and I work hard but is that enough. Theater is the way for me to get away from who I am and become a different person. So, I have to decide what I want to major and minor in before I can really seriously look at my college options so I will have to do a lot of thinking in the next couple of months. School is much harder this year, and this is the most crucial year so I will have to work my butt off so my dad will be happy, but, don't worry, i can do it.
Social Stuff
I guess my social life is good. It has never been great but I feel that some people are nicer or at least notice my presence. I still have this feeling of fear and rejection and being judged but with certain people I feel it less or not at all. I feel that I have some really friends. yay! I have been talking to Kate (therapist) about this and she has helped but it is all about me and how I change. First I have to figure out why I am this way. By "this way' I mean, why do I feel like I am still in middle school? Why do I constantly feel like I am being judged? Why do a fear rejection to an extreme? and mainly why can't i change this? I need to investigate the major things in my past to find the root of being pessimistic, self-conscience and overall fearful. If you heard me speak at the freshman mutual respect assembly... well that speech was just the tip of the iceberg. I don't want to go to my past because a lot of bad memories will emerge and I am scared of how I will react. But I need to if I want to fix myself before college so a can be a happy healthy young adult. I would just like to say thank you to taylor, nani, and andrea because all of your support and kindness (and sarcasm in andreas case) has helped me so much with my confidence. I hope that I will continue to gain confidence and one day get to a happy place!
Into the Woods
All I have to say is auditions are monday. everyone pray, PRAY HARD that I get it. I want to get in so bad. well, g2g, time to practice my song!