Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow
Last week I got my hair cut. It was pretty long at this point (half down my back) but I knew I wanted a short style. I was imagining a retro looking bob, like Betty Draper from Mad Men or Lil Mainwaring in Marnie. It would be a drastic change but I imagined a sleek and elegant shoulder length bob.
Betty Draper (aka January Jones):
Lil Mainwaring (aka Diane Baker):
Instead, my stylist just went with the word "bob" and transformed my long locks into a short choppy shaggy inspired hair do. I ended up looking like Amy Adams' character in Julie and Julia (a movie I do love) or a shaggy and not so elegant Martha Stewart do:
Julie:
I mean Amy Adams looks adorable, but it's because she is Amy Adams, not because of the hair cut. I was obviously upset and every time I looked in the mirror, tears burned the corners of my eyes- I hated it.
But it's started to grow out, flatten out, and get more shape. It does frame my face nicely and while I miss putting it into a ponytail, it is forcing me to get away from my usual messy ponytail look. Also, it is so quick to wash and style (a huge bonus). I'm not in LOVE with it, but I'm getting used to it and pretty soon it might grow into that sleek elegant retro bob I want.
And that's what this Grad School/ Financial Aid application process has been like. It's like being a librarian is the sleek elegant bob that I want and moving to a new place and doing something new is this horrible shaggy bob. I concurrently want to change my vocation to be a librarian but I don't really want to move or change my life to do so.
I've been unreasonable the last two months. I was initially excited at getting into all of the schools I applied to but then a feeling of unease sunk in when I officially chose Illinois and started filling out forms and looking for housing. I love my apartment and I now have to trade it in for one that is merely acceptable. I have to get used to a new town, make new friends.
Plus. I forgot how tiring and scary applying for financial aid is! It turns out that right after my last post (in which I flaunted my leisurely status- "here I am reading books and baking; I have nothing to worry about, la la la.") I started pursuing financial aid. What a nightmare!!! My daily schedule turned from just working to this: work, search for more financial aid, work, apply for assistanships and jobs at all 5 schools until Midnight, pass out on my couch. It seemed like every day something new would pop up and I would apply for it.
All of this left me feeling tired and a bit of a grumpy gus. But as time has passed I am finding things that are getting me excited about this change. I am so excited to start taking MLS classes in the fall and to (finally) start working at a library. I have also visited U of I's campus and have fallen in love with that. I am also realizing that, while, yes, my apartment isn't as great as the one I have here it isn't above a laundry room and I have a chance of not living under really noisy neighbors. Also, Chambana has some fabulous grocery stores, a legit farmer's market, and every store I could possibly want (I get to live in a town with a mall again- insane!). Also, they have a fabulous bus system so I will save on gas money (but guess what- gas is cheaper in central Illinois anyways!). Plus, I have a few interviews for assistantships so, while competition will be fierce, at least I have some chance at getting my tuition paid for!
I think the main frustration is stemming from my Veruca Salt attitude of "I want it now!!" I really like just working and I can't wait to have a more permanent library job with a decent salary and an apartment/house I may live in for more than two years. I feel like I am waiting for life to start, for my hair to grow out.
But I think this transitional period will be good for me- I will learn more and have time to continue to cultivate my self.
And until that time I have clips to keep these shaggy strands back and friends to keep me grounded.
Betty Draper (aka January Jones):
Lil Mainwaring (aka Diane Baker):
Instead, my stylist just went with the word "bob" and transformed my long locks into a short choppy shaggy inspired hair do. I ended up looking like Amy Adams' character in Julie and Julia (a movie I do love) or a shaggy and not so elegant Martha Stewart do:
Julie:
I mean Amy Adams looks adorable, but it's because she is Amy Adams, not because of the hair cut. I was obviously upset and every time I looked in the mirror, tears burned the corners of my eyes- I hated it.
But it's started to grow out, flatten out, and get more shape. It does frame my face nicely and while I miss putting it into a ponytail, it is forcing me to get away from my usual messy ponytail look. Also, it is so quick to wash and style (a huge bonus). I'm not in LOVE with it, but I'm getting used to it and pretty soon it might grow into that sleek elegant retro bob I want.
And that's what this Grad School/ Financial Aid application process has been like. It's like being a librarian is the sleek elegant bob that I want and moving to a new place and doing something new is this horrible shaggy bob. I concurrently want to change my vocation to be a librarian but I don't really want to move or change my life to do so.
I've been unreasonable the last two months. I was initially excited at getting into all of the schools I applied to but then a feeling of unease sunk in when I officially chose Illinois and started filling out forms and looking for housing. I love my apartment and I now have to trade it in for one that is merely acceptable. I have to get used to a new town, make new friends.
Plus. I forgot how tiring and scary applying for financial aid is! It turns out that right after my last post (in which I flaunted my leisurely status- "here I am reading books and baking; I have nothing to worry about, la la la.") I started pursuing financial aid. What a nightmare!!! My daily schedule turned from just working to this: work, search for more financial aid, work, apply for assistanships and jobs at all 5 schools until Midnight, pass out on my couch. It seemed like every day something new would pop up and I would apply for it.
All of this left me feeling tired and a bit of a grumpy gus. But as time has passed I am finding things that are getting me excited about this change. I am so excited to start taking MLS classes in the fall and to (finally) start working at a library. I have also visited U of I's campus and have fallen in love with that. I am also realizing that, while, yes, my apartment isn't as great as the one I have here it isn't above a laundry room and I have a chance of not living under really noisy neighbors. Also, Chambana has some fabulous grocery stores, a legit farmer's market, and every store I could possibly want (I get to live in a town with a mall again- insane!). Also, they have a fabulous bus system so I will save on gas money (but guess what- gas is cheaper in central Illinois anyways!). Plus, I have a few interviews for assistantships so, while competition will be fierce, at least I have some chance at getting my tuition paid for!
I think the main frustration is stemming from my Veruca Salt attitude of "I want it now!!" I really like just working and I can't wait to have a more permanent library job with a decent salary and an apartment/house I may live in for more than two years. I feel like I am waiting for life to start, for my hair to grow out.
But I think this transitional period will be good for me- I will learn more and have time to continue to cultivate my self.
And until that time I have clips to keep these shaggy strands back and friends to keep me grounded.