Today
Is not a good day - I have a lot of anxiety about going back to work for a certain someone & am not sure why. Maybe because of the way things ended last time? Maybe because It's days? Maybe because i don't want to go back to work? IDK but I ask my Fiance for some guidance and he gives me the he don't care line but then when I ask him to talk to his mother about babysitting - he wont. Id need her to come here. No reason to get my kids up that early & Amber would need to be gotten up to get ont he bus. That is the other thing - I don't realy want my kids involved so much with the lady - she is mena. Atleast I know if it is here - there wont be any junk food. IDK - I realy just don't know. My family needs me to work at least part time but to work and pay for a babysitter - what is the point? and there are no good ones to be heard of - I've been around the block with this a million times. Mike is working himself to death & I got a job - i guess I should go with it. But this situation didn't end so good last time - I got huret by a friend and though he has addmitted his wrong - I'm still frightened it will happen again. I am sick of doing the best job and getting shit on. County, Jack, Blackberry, Summer - the list goes on & I am tired of it.