Beware your teeth, it's CC6.
It's been a wicked week. Perhaps someday, I'll blog about it. There will, I suspect, be vehicular smut when I do.
~~~
The next bit of Childhood Chews. It wants to be PG-13 at least for themes, but Draco doesn't understand them, so it's maybe a G? I dunno. Ratings baffle me. Love to
bella_white for the beta; all mistakes are mine. As always, you find, I fix.
one / two / three / four / five / six
Draco woke to the sound of one man thumping, and for a minute, he just sleepy-scowled and rubbed at his eyes and listened for Mum.
When he'd gotten to looking, he did it one-eyed, peeking cautious over a fist and ducking his head so he wouldn't be caught. The one man thumping didn't look like anyone Draco knew, and for a bit, he thought maybe he'd been stuck in with strangers in his manor, he'd best tell mum. Then he remembered about mums and strangers and Polly People, and anyway, he was home, wasn't he?
Home was safe, home always had been.
So maybe this was Polly Mum, only Polly Mum was a Polly man, which couldn't be right.
"Polly Mum?" he whispered, and the man slowed down in his yelling, Polly man was mad, those weren't nice words at all, but he didn't stop or answer or anything. So not Mum, then, not even the Polly kind. That was a bit of a puzzle but Draco liked puzzles, so it was all right. "Polly Dad?"
"Erm, no, not really." Polly man turned around, looked at Draco a bit sheepish like he'd broken a pottery on accident or something, and he had very green eyes and very nice glasses and a wicked scar right above them.
Draco didn't know many big people and he really really didn't know many big people with potions, but he knew sad smiles when he saw them and he knew big men who weren't dads who sometimes tugged their own sleeves and were quiet.
"Polly Uncle Severus," he said, certain as he could be, because if anyone was going to take potions they shouldn't, of course it would be Uncle Severus.
Dad would like that, how smart he'd been. No Polly-fooling him.
"Oh, God," Polly Uncle Severus said, like it hurt, just saying that. "Oh, God, Mal-Draco, just…"
It must have hurt too much, saying things, because Polly Uncle Severus stopped.
"It's all right," Draco said, and patted his hand. "Dad will know what to do, Dad always does." Then he squinted to make the thinking about things easier, because this was a lot to think about, really. "Or maybe Mum? She was Polly Mum for a bit, she'll know how to make you Uncle Severus for real again."
Then Polly Uncle Severus started yelling "My-oh-knee, my-oh-knee," at the door and Draco giggled because what were oh-knees, anyway, but before he could ask, there was Polly Mum at the door, looking sad and quiet.
***
"Polly Mum!" Draco raced across the room, forgot about running in the manor until Polly Mum's eyes widened but he stopped and his shoes screeched and he said, "You said you wouldn't take any more."
Polly Uncle Severus said, "What?" as Polly Mum said, "Oh," then, "No, no, I didn't mean to, it was a mistake, someone-" and she looked mad at a big ginger man with one ear, mad like she'd go for her wand, and Draco moved closer to Polly Uncle Severus to hide because Mum mad was Not Good. It worked, too, hiding with Polly Uncle Severus, because Mum didn't look down at him, she looked up at Polly Uncle Severus like Draco wasn't even there. "-put something in the juice because he's a big git who'll be apologizing from now until forever about it, won't he, George?"
One of the big gingers went all red and the other one went shifty and one of them said, "Oi, they got on when they were small, if you leave them alone, they'll sort themselves out," and a dark-haired lady Draco thought he'd seen before smacked the ginger right on the arm and said, "You'd best hope they do, because if they don't…your balls, my ear bobs, am I clear?" She was scary, too, worse than the gingers, and the one she'd just smacked smirked a bit and said yeah, yeah, she was clear, there was no call to be threatening his bits but she could have at them anytime she pleased, really, and when he'd said that much, she smacked him again.
Polly Uncle Severus said, "Erm, yeah, I figured," and rubbed at his neck. "Any chance it'll end soon?"
"Sorry, no. Not as long as last time, but he says he's not tried it, just heard M-A-L-F-O-Y talk about it."
"Wait, wait, what? S'one of Mal-M-A-L-his?" Polly Uncle Severus didn't like that, whatever Mal-his was.
"Yeah," Polly Mum said with a bit of a smirk. "Apparently he's made himself quite at home in the Wheeze lab."
"Well, yeah, s'a lab, yeah? Kind of his home territory, isn't it?"
"Polly Mum," Draco said sternly, this was important. "It is not time to chat. Uncle Severus Polly'd himself and he. Needs. Help."
"He thinks you're Severus?" Polly Mum asked, like it was funny. Polly Not Uncle Severus shrugged and said, "Yeah, I know, I can't…" but he didn't finish, so Draco didn't know what he couldn't.
***
Polly Mum crouched down and Polly Mum explained and really, adults were silly, not even knowing who they were.
"He's not Uncle Severus? Even the Polly kind?" Draco worried then, because who else could it be? He'd ask Polly Uncle Severus, only it wasn't Uncle Severus, and he hadn't said or anything, so maybe he didn't know?
"No, sweet, he's not," Polly Mum said, patient as ever. "He's a very dear friend of mine, though."
"Really? Is this like the nursery? Are these their dads?"
Polly Mum laughed a bit, but it was nervous, too. "Not quite."
***
"If you're not Uncle Severus, we should go find him. He'll make you right, he's good with potions."
"We can't, sweet, your Uncle Severus isn't here anymore," the blonde lady said, and she touched his hair like she was his mum, but she wasn't, she was Nev's Polly Someone Luna. It was nice, her touching his hair, she was all right, but there were those gingers by the door, all hovered about Polly Mum and her dark-haired friend yelling, and Draco thought gingers were very scary indeed but not as scary as mums on a tear.
Merlin, he missed Harry. And maybe Pansy, even if she wanted to play house all the time, because he didn't know anyone but Polly Mum and she wasn't even there anymore, she'd left him to yell.
And then he saw Teddy.
***
It was all right, seeing Teddy again, Teddy wasn't scary like gingers or anything, but he wasn't Harry, either, Harry wasn't there, even when Draco looked and looked.
Teddy didn't seem too happy to see Draco, either, because he clapped a hand over his mouth and stared for a bit, even though it was rude, staring, then turned to the man beside him and said, "He's little? Why is he little? Nev, this wasn't in the plan."
Draco thought maybe the whole world had gone mad.
And maybe Polly Uncle Severus didn't think he really was Uncle Severus, but at least he wasn't yelling, so Draco stayed close to be safe.
***
Teddy's big friend, Nev, had to drag him away from the yelling, shouting, "How's he meant to play now? Look at him, he doesn't even have his wand, he doesn't know about being mates with big people and he's no Grr and he'll be scared, what were you thinking?" at the gingers. Draco looked at Polly Not Uncle Severus, who was a bit of a Polly puzzle, really, and he knew Polly Mum was wrong about it not being Uncle Severus because when he squirmed in close to be safe from the yelling, Polly Puzzle looked down like Draco had fangs and would maybe bite him.
"All right, then?" Polly Puzzle asked, sounding a bit daft.
Draco nodded. "There's an awful lot of yelling," he whispered. Polly Puzzle nodded back and relaxed a bit, like they were their own quiet little corner of the couch. "Are we in trouble?"
"Not really, no. It's just, it's a bit of a surprise, I guess."
"What is? Is it not a good surprise?" Surprises were fun, sometimes, but there was yelling, so he guessed maybe this one wasn't.
Polly Puzzle took a deep breath and leaned in a bit. Not much, not like Mum sharing secret stories, but just like Uncle Severus. Like getting too close might give him fits. "Just a surprise. We, erm, weren't expecting to see you today is all. Your, erm, your mum, she…" and Polly Puzzle flapped a hand about.
It was pretty silly, the hand flapping, but it was a pretty silly surprise, too, finding Draco Malfoy in Malfoy Manor, and when he said so, Polly Puzzle looked a bit daft, like he hadn't known that.
***
"So if you're not Uncle Severus, then who are you?"
"I'm, erm, Harry," Polly Puzzle said, and he looked very serious even when he was joking, Draco knew Harry and Harry wasn't big, Harry was still just his size. Best mates knew these sorts of things about each other, whether they were big or small, he was certain. So Draco told Polly Puzzle, who said, "Look, Draco, I…" and his voice snapped like crackers at tea and he looked at the gingers again. Only this time, he looked at them like they'd stolen his biscuits. "I'm not who you think, all right? Not Sna-Severus or your mum or your dad or anyone. Just…I'm just Harry, okay?"
"Well, you smile like Uncle Severus," he said, because he'd been wrong maybe but he hadn't been silly.
"Do I?"
"Well, yeah. Like it hurts. Does it?"
"Oh, God," Polly Puzzle said, and Draco said, "I'm not God, I'm Draco," and Polly Not Uncle Severus put his face in his hands and used words Mum didn't like.
***
Teddy's big friend dragged him over to the couch and away from the yelling, and Teddy didn't look happy about it at all, Teddy looked like he was in trouble.
"Go on, then," Teddy's big mate said, and Teddy kicked the carpet, Teddy was silly, Teddy was bullying the furnishings. "Ask him, Teddy. Maybe Draco wants to play, too."
Teddy kicked the carpet again and shuffled like Harry, only it wasn't fun when Teddy did it, it was just strange. "D'you want to play with us?"
"What are we playing?" Maybe Teddy wasn't yelling anymore, but he was bullying the furnishings, which wasn't much better, really, so Draco looked up to make sure it was safe. Polly Puzzle looked like he didn't know, either.
"Aurors and Death Eaters," Teddy's big mate said with another nudge and Teddy said, "You 'n Harry can be a team again, Uncle Dragon, if you swear you won't fight again."
Draco ignored the bit where Teddy had him confused with Harry because really, they'd only just met and they weren't best mates or anything, and anyway, there was something far more important to think about.
And when he did, it made sense. Draco looked up at Polly Puzzle, who wasn't such a puzzle anymore, and said, "You're Uncle Dragon?"
Which was a bit brilliant, when he thought about it, because he had a few things to say to Uncle Dragon.
***
Uncle Dragon tried saying he really wasn't, that he was really Harry, and Draco'd had enough of that story, it wasn't a very good one and really Harry'd said Uncle Dragon told good stories, so Draco thought he could start any time and he said so. And Uncle Dragon gaped a bit, and Teddy's big mate did, too, and Teddy said, "Merlin," and covered his face with his hands like he'd just heard it wasn't really Christmas.
"I really think I should go now," Uncle Dragon said, and he tried to get up but Draco grabbed his arm and squeezed so he'd know Draco was serious.
"You can't leave yet," Draco said. "You'll miss Harry."
"It'll be fine, I promise."
Draco scowled then, sharp and fast. "It won't. You can't make promises, you don't ever keep them."
"I do."
"You don't. Didn't see you at story time at all, did I? With Harry looking and everything. And...and...and you shouldn't say things you don't mean, s'not right, lying to people, saying things you don't mean."
"You said that bit."
"Oh." Draco scowled. Looked hard at Teddy, because Teddy should know about Uncle Dragons and such, Teddy seemed that sort. Only, Teddy didn't say anything, Teddy just shook his head and hid, so Draco was all on his own.
He wanted to poke at Uncle Dragon's lying with his wand like Dad did sometimes with his snake stick, only Draco didn't have a wand or a snake stick yet and anyway, Uncle Dragon's lies weren't things he could actually see, which made it tricky.
"Why would you lie? He missed you and he made me watch out for you and we might have missed story and snack and you weren't ever coming. And...and...m'dad, he's not perfect, he even says so and Mum says so lots, but when he says something, he means it, and I'd feel awful if he didn't, I couldn't trust a thing he'd said, and…and…" Uncle Dragons were tricky, they kept stealing his words. So maybe this was why Teddy was bossy, then, just trying to keep his words and everything. "And when you say something, you should mean it."
Teddy told his big mate he didn't think there'd be playing after all, and Draco thought maybe they shuffled off, but he wasn't really watching them, he was watching Uncle Dragon, who was pretty much just watching him back.
"I do mean it," Uncle Dragon said carefully, like he was finding his words, which was all right, Draco did that, too, especially when they were big ones. "I'm sorry about what happened with your friend-Harry, was it?" Draco scowled that Uncle Dragon wouldn't remember, Harry was brilliant, Draco couldn't imagine anyone forgetting him, and Uncle Dragon nodded a bit. "Yeah, all right. Look, I won't do it again. Okay?"
Draco peered again, peered like Dad when Draco offered to help Uncle Severus in the lab. "And you'll say you're sorry?"
"What?"
"Harry really missed you. He was sad. I had to kiss him on the forehead and everything. So you should apologize." Uncle Dragon went a bit strange then, and hissed a bit, and Draco could understand that, it was a very big word. "That means you say you're sorry. And you have to mean it."
Uncle Dragon kind of smiled and kind of frowned and kind of nodded. "I will. This time, I'll mean it."
***
"Well, aren't you lot cheery as hell?" the dark-haired Polly mum said, falling onto the couch beside him like she'd just had the world's best play. "Enjoying your crash course in Malfoy-minding, Potter?"
"He thinks I'm Snape with a personality disorder and Teddy thinks I'm a twat with a violence problem. Really, it's been my day for children."
The dark-haired Polly mum snorted a bit, and Draco said, "He is Uncle Dragon," and the dark-haired Polly mum sprayed her drink everywhere like she was a hose.
"Well well. Moving up in the world, are we? It's about time, at that."
Draco didn't know what that meant, but he knew that slitty-eyed look, so he said, "It's okay, he's said he'll apologize to Harry about before."
"Has he?" The dark-haired Polly mum still looked slitty, but it didn't look mean or mad or anything, so Draco supposed that was all right, too. "Do tell."
"Leave off, Parkinson, please? This day's hell enough already. Just tell me when George thinks it might be over or leave us be."
"And miss this? Not for the world, Potter, not for all the Galleons in Gringotts. Been waiting for it since, I don't know, fourth year, maybe." The way Parksinson looked at him made Draco nervous, like she saw things he couldn't, and Uncle Dragon looked sad again, so Draco turned a bit and hugged his arm. "Don't suppose I need to say that if you hurt him, I'll do vicious wicked things to you, do I?"
Uncle Dragon said no, she really didn't, and then he said, "Fourth year?" in a very small voice, and Parksinson said it again, and said he'd have to find out the rest for himself, she'd done her bit, and they were quiet and strange until someone put a hand on Draco's back like a hug.
***
"Is Uncle Severus a portrait?" Draco didn't like that, there'd be no brewing things if he was a portrait, Draco never wanted to be a portrait if he could help it, and he said so.
Uncle Dragon said sometimes people didn't get to choose whether they'd be portraits or not, and at least if they were, people could still talk to them sometimes, not everybody got to be a portrait, after all, so it wasn't all bad. Draco asked did Uncle Severus's portrait have a space for potions, because he thought Uncle Severus would like that, making potions any time he wanted, and Uncle Dragon said yeah, maybe it did, and Draco said that was okay, then, Uncle Severus in a portrait if he had potions to make him happy.
Uncle Severus liked potions, even if he didn't smile about them like Draco smiled about stories and mates and Grr.
Uncle Dragon said that was probably true, and he didn't ask about Grr or anything, maybe Uncle Dragons knew about stuffed dragons?
And Parksinson said that would be nice, a trip to the portraits might keep them busy until it wore off, and Uncle Dragon nodded a bit and Draco hopped because a field trip? Exciting.
***
So Uncle Dragon, who wasn't really a dragon, took him to see Uncle Severus, who was really a portrait, and it was exciting a bit, seeing Uncle Severus was always more fun than it should be and they were going to make sure he could make potions in his picture because if he couldn't, he'd never be happy and that was no good, Uncle Severus deserved to be happy, didn't he?
Uncle Dragon said he thought so, too, and he looked at Draco like Draco'd taken his biscuits and Draco squeezed his hand and said, "You're making the wibbly face again," because maybe they were like smiles, wibbly faces, maybe they ran away on Uncle Dragon without ever saying.
So then Uncle Dragon just looked sad a bit, like he'd looked sad all day, but there was no wibbling, which was good-ish, and Draco wished he had Grr, who was brilliant like Mum at cheering up, 'specially when it was about things he shouldn't wibble over, anyway.
And he said so aloud, about wanting Grr and why, and Uncle Dragon made a squeak then, and Draco said, "No, no, he really does grrr, s'how he got his name, and he's brilliant at stories," and Uncle Dragon bit his lip.
Uncle Dragon did that lots, the lip biting, Draco thought that was weird, that might hurt or something, but he didn't say that, he just held Uncle Dragon's hand and let Uncle Dragon lead the way.
***
Uncle Severus did that slitty-eyed thing he did, what Mum called his I Am Severus, You Are For Chopping look, and Uncle Dragon squared his shoulders and cocked his head.
"Sir," he said as Uncle Severus said, "Mr. Potter," in a very growlly voice, and Draco thought that was silly, both of them pretending to be dragons when they were clearly both boys. When he giggled, Portrait Uncle Severus looked down at him and blinked and said, "Master Malfoy, I presume? Where is your father, boy, and why has he let Potter, of all people, in the Manor?"
"I dunno, really. Where's Dad, Uncle Dragon?"
"Uncle Dragon?" Portrait Uncle Severus looked like his name tasted like potions. The bad ones.
"Well, erm, yes, sir, there was…Draco and I were just-"
"Draco?" Portrait Uncle Severus rubbed his nose, and Draco said, "Yes?" and Portrait Uncle Severus said, "I pray, Mr. Potter, that this is some absurd form of narcissism and that you have not, as I suspect, brought me my godson like that."
"You have another godson? Is it Harry? I like Harry," Draco said, but Uncle Dragon shushed him and said, "Well, sir, there was this Wheeze…"
***
"You shouldn't use those words, Uncle Severus, Polly Mum might hear and she won't like it."
Portrait Uncle Severus looked like someone pinched his face and said, "Polly Mum?" to Uncle Dragon like he'd forgotten Draco again, and Uncle Dragon said, "Her-my-oh-knee," very quiet, like it was a secret, and Portrait Uncle Severus almost looked pleased. Well, please for Uncle Severus.
"Good. Then you haven't shrunk all the sense in the place, no doubt despite yourself."
***
"D'you want me to leave?" Uncle Dragon asked him. "So you can have a proper visit with your uncle, if you'd like?"
Draco shook his head and squeezed hard on Uncle Dragon's hand so there'd be no going. "I'm sure you've loads to say to him, you've been talking m'ear off all afternoon," Uncle Dragon said. That didn't sound good, exactly, Mum said that thing about ears off when she saw her regular friends and they all cooed a bit like it was sad.
"Was that what happened to George?" Merlin, this was scary, dead mums and fallen-off ears might be going 'round, bad things happened with Pollys and Uncle Dragon, did they follow him? And when he asked, Uncle Dragon said yeah, yeah, he'd always been a bit of a magnet for trouble but he didn't mean that, either, and before Draco could ask about magnets, Portrait Uncle Severus said some people Accio'd trouble and some people were its Point-Me, and he said lots more, but Draco didn't do either so Draco didn't really understand.
He understood the yelling, though, and Mum really wouldn't like those words indeed.
***
"Is it all right in your portrait?" Draco asked, and yeah, maybe he was in.ter.upt.ing, which was a bit rude, but they were yelling, which was also a bit rude, and there were two of them and just one of him, so it was more rudeness, the yelling. So it was practically all right, then.
"Sorry?" Uncle Dragon said, which was silly, he didn't even have a portrait yet, and Uncle Severus said, "It is as tolerable as such things may be."
Which was Uncle Severus for "yes", Draco thought, but he had to think about it. "D'you need anything? A book or a juice or anything?"
"I prefer my afterlife devoid of Wheeze infestation, thank you kindly, Master Malfoy."
And Uncle Dragon said that wasn't fair, they hadn't meant it, and anyway, the ferret was in on it, he'd actually made it, and Uncle Severus said that meant nothing, they were a menace whose utter disregard for others would get someone killed or worse one day, and Uncle Dragon went all red and angry and he yelled that Snape didn't know, Snape hadn't seen that part but they'd lost Fred and George had no fucking ear and they'd bloody lost Remus and Tonks and a whole bunch of names Draco didn't know, and really, Draco was lost.
So Draco said, "Do the gingers scare you, too? Because they scared Harry, they were loud and they didn't know about space," and Uncle Severus said, "Do tell, Master Malfoy, I find that both plausible and promising," and Uncle Dragon called someone a git and there was more yelling.
And Draco'd had quite enough of the yelling, thanks.
So he put his fingers in his mouth like Mum sometimes and whistled hard.
When they both were looking at him and not yelling or anything, Draco told them about indoor voices and the having enough already, and asked could they be nice now or would they have to go to their rooms for a think?
He wasn't surprised at all when they said they'd be nice; he didn't think going to his room for a think was much fun, either.
***
They talked about flowers lots, which were a bit girly, really, and Uncle Severus said he'd needed lilies and narcissas, and Uncle Dragon said he'd needed narcissas, too, and not just lilies, and Draco asked were they making the same thing, then, and why hadn't they just made it together?
***
He was tired of just standing, so he tugged Uncle Dragon's sleeve lots and Uncle Dragon kept looking down at him like he didn't understand, and Portrait Uncle Severus said, "He wants you to pick him up," like he was laughing.
"Oh. Erm. Really?" Draco nodded and held up his arms so it would be easy.
And it was easy, and it was nice, Uncle Dragon had a nice shoulder, and Draco thought he'd have known it wasn't Uncle Severus if Uncle Dragon had just picked him up before, because he didn't smell a thing like potions.
***
Then they'd both said about Dumble doors, and it made them both sad again, like the smiling hurt, and Draco couldn't hug portraits but he could hug people, so he did. Uncle Dragon hugged back without being asked or anything, just put his hand on Draco's back and squeezed a bit like Dad did, and when they'd stopped hugging, Draco looked special at Portrait Uncle Severus to make sure he knew. And Uncle Severus did know, and Uncle Severus did vampire hands and slitty eyes and said, "You are, perhaps, not wholly your father's son after all."
"Like to think I'm a bit of both, sir, and quite a lot of myself."
***
"Clingy little thing, isn't he?" Uncle Dragon said, and Uncle Severus said no, he wasn't always, and Uncle Dragon said yeah, he'd seen that for himself, thanks, had the bruises to prove it.
"You mistake me, idiot boy," Uncle Severus said. "He does not often get attached, but where he does, he is intractable. The things he's done for those he loves are…" but Uncle Severus didn't finish that, so Draco didn't know what. "Do not believe, Mr. Potter, that you know him."
Uncle Dragon said, "I know I don't, but I'm trying," and Uncle Severus was pleased, even if he looked rather angry.
"I believe you mean that."
Uncle Dragon cleared his throat and said, "I do."
***
It was hard, leaving Portrait Uncle Severus, but he promised Draco could come visit lots, any time he wanted, and when Draco asked, Portrait Uncle Severus said yes, Draco could even bring his mate Harry, and Uncle Dragon said thanks, he appreciated that, and drew Uncle Severus's drapes.
***
"He looks fairly tired," Polly Mum said, and Uncle Dragon said yeah, yeah, he thought Draco was, and Polly Mum said, "Well, that's good, then. It's ending; we weren't sure it would…"
"I remember, it wore me out. Haven't been that tired since the war, I don't think, so yeah-" Uncle Dragon brushed Draco's hair off his forehead a bit and half-smiled sweet, and Draco didn't want to nap but he did like the petting so he snuggled in a bit, made himself tiny and there on Uncle Dragon's shoulder. "Think it's maybe bedtime for someone, yeah?"
"Careful with him on the stairs," Polly Mum said, and Parksinson said, "Oh my Muggle aunt, that's too adorable for words, that is, where's the camera?"
And another good thing about Uncle Dragon's shoulder? When he laughed, it rumbled funny through his chest, right in Draco's ear, and Draco really liked that, too.
***
"Don't want to nap," Draco said, clearly so Uncle Dragon would understand there'd be no napping even if they were in his room. Which was Grrless, thank you very much.
"Are you sure about that? Because you're yawning an awful lot for someone who's not even a little bit sleepy."
"That's because I am sleepy." No Grr, no nap. Draco knew how this worked, Grr hadn't run off by himself.
"So then, nap time, yeah?"
"Nap time, no." Because what if he napped and Harry came, and Draco was sleeping so Harry went home? So he explained about missing Harry, and Uncle Dragon let him finish.
Thought about it. "Even this age, you're bloody Slytherin, aren't you?" Uncle Dragon said but Draco didn't think he'd been meant to hear, he thought maybe Uncle Dragon was talking to himself like Dad did sometimes when Draco was being silly. "Look, I'm pants at this kids thing. No clue, really, you should see me with nappies, it's horrible. Sticking Charms everywhere and crying babies and really, just chaos."
"You know I'm not in nappies, right?" Draco was worried, nappies were for babies. "I'm four." He held up his fingers. All of them, because he was almost five and thumbs were almost fingers, and he wiggled his thumb and explained about almosts so Uncle Dragon would know.
"Right. Erm. Right." Uncle Dragon nodded once like his head slipped. "So you tell me, then, what it's going to take to get you in bed."
"Anything?"
"Anything."
And, well, maybe Draco wasn't Slytherin yet, but he might be someday, and he'd been practicing with Dad, so he smirked a bit and said, "Well, we'll start with a story."
***
Uncle Dragon's first story didn't get very far, because Draco had questions and Draco had ants in his pants when he had questions, Mum said so, and when Uncle Dragon stopped to ask what was wrong, why was there squirming and not napping, Draco asked his questions and Uncle Dragon choked a bit.
"Why was his name Puff? Isn't that a silly name for a dragon? Was he a silly dragon? Did the nother dragons make fun of him? S'not nice, making fun, it's im.pol.ite."
"There were no other dragons," Uncle Dragon said after a bit.
"No other dragons? Pfft. Of course there were, what about his mum? Wasn't she a dragon? Dragons can be girls, you know, they're not always boys."
"I know. Met one, haven't I?" Uncle Dragon kind of smiled and rubbed his neck a bit like Mum did when she talked about school.
"You've met a dragon? A girl one?" Uncle Dragon nodded and said yeah, yeah he had, he'd had to fly past her while she'd been defending her egg and she'd been mean a bit, and blown fire at him and chased him and everything, and when Uncle Dragon quieted down again because he was a bit excited talking about his girl dragon, Draco said, "That. Is. Cool."
Because someone should.
***
"You really promise?"
Uncle Dragon stopped his story and didn't even say Draco shouldn't interrupt or anything, just sort of petted him like Mum did when he was sick. "Yeah, I promise. You'll know the minute Harry gets here. Now…we've got a story to finish here and someone has a nap to take, I believe, hrm?"
So Draco thought about that, because Uncle Dragons and promises were tricky, but when he'd missed some of the story for thinking, he decided maybe Uncle Dragon had learned his lesson about lying. Maybe this time, it was all right.
***
"What's your really real name?" Merlin, he was sleepy, Uncle Dragon was good at stories, just like Harry'd said.
"Thought we'd figured out I'm Uncle Dragon, yeah?" Uncle Dragon put their book down and poked Draco's nose a bit, pressed it and smiled a really real smile.
"Silly." Draco scrunched his nose and made a face. "You're not really a dragon."
Uncle Dragon gasped and clutched at his chest like he'd died, but he wasn't hurt, he was just fooling. Uncle Dragon was pretty good at that, fooling. "Not really a dragon? Not really a dragon? The hell you say."
"Well, you're not really a dragon, are you?" Draco grinned, it felt good, trusting Uncle Dragon, he liked Uncle Dragon and maybe they were friends, too. "You're really a boy. Because dragons, they say grrrr-" and he put on his best dragony face and made claws with his fingers. "-but boys, they say erm. And you say erm loads. So you. Are. A boy." And Draco poked Uncle Dragon's nose back, which made Uncle Dragon laugh.
"Some boys say erm, yeah," Uncle Dragon said. "And some boys say other things."
"Like what?"
"Like, erm, riddikulus," and Uncle Dragon tickled him right on his belly and Draco laughed and laughed, and he couldn't make Uncle Dragon stop even when he wiggled and couldn’t breathe for giggling.
***
So Uncle Dragon wasn't so bad, really, he was actually really brilliant when he was there, and Draco said so, and Uncle Dragon said thanks, Draco was pretty brilliant himself, and Draco said, "I can't wait until Harry sees you, he'll be so excited, he really, really missed you last time."
Which made Uncle Dragon look sad, and Draco didn't want Uncle Dragon sad, he liked Uncle Dragon laughing, so he sat up and said, "Don't be sad, Harry's coming back, he promised, Harry wouldn't lie about a thing like that, we're best mates," and he kissed Uncle Dragon right on the cheek.
He almost didn't notice Uncle Dragon hadn't ever said his really real name. Almost.
***
"D'you think he's happy?"
"Who?"
"Grr. With Harry. D'you think he misses me?"
Uncle Dragon made a face like he wasn't sure what to think. "I bet he does, yeah. You, erm, you know he's with Harry, then?"
Draco nodded and made a very serious face, because he knew exactly what to think. "I forgot, but he's not on my bed. He's always on my bed. And I remembered Harry on my bed, too, and now they're both gone, so that's all right, then, as long as they're gone together and they've not run off forever or anything." He really, really didn't want to ask, but he worried. "Have they?"
"They'll be back," Uncle Dragon said, and petted Draco's head again to mess up his hair. "Just, you have to nap first, all right? And if you still can't find them when you wake up, I'll show you myself. Okay?"
"Okay." Draco yawned big, so big he thought his mouth was bigger than his whole face maybe. "Can you stay with me? Don't like the dark by myself. S'scary."
"I'll just, erm, maybe sit here by the-" Uncle Dragon said, and Draco had to cut him off because he sounded a bit odd and panicky. Really, he was so much like Uncle Severus it was ridiculous.
"You have to stay where I can hug you, maybe. Like Grr does."
He thought he might have to explain that to Uncle Dragon, too, but he didn't. Uncle Dragon just said, "Sure, yeah, where d'you want me?" and he looked a bit funny when Draco patted Grr's pillow, but he didn't whinge at all.
Monster-guarding dragons were very good things, after all. Whether they were really dragons or not.
***
And the last thing he heard before he fell asleep for real was Uncle Dragon saying, "Please, Merlin, just don't hate me for this, too, yeah?"
~tbc~
~~~
The next bit of Childhood Chews. It wants to be PG-13 at least for themes, but Draco doesn't understand them, so it's maybe a G? I dunno. Ratings baffle me. Love to
bella_white for the beta; all mistakes are mine. As always, you find, I fix.
one / two / three / four / five / six
Draco woke to the sound of one man thumping, and for a minute, he just sleepy-scowled and rubbed at his eyes and listened for Mum.
When he'd gotten to looking, he did it one-eyed, peeking cautious over a fist and ducking his head so he wouldn't be caught. The one man thumping didn't look like anyone Draco knew, and for a bit, he thought maybe he'd been stuck in with strangers in his manor, he'd best tell mum. Then he remembered about mums and strangers and Polly People, and anyway, he was home, wasn't he?
Home was safe, home always had been.
So maybe this was Polly Mum, only Polly Mum was a Polly man, which couldn't be right.
"Polly Mum?" he whispered, and the man slowed down in his yelling, Polly man was mad, those weren't nice words at all, but he didn't stop or answer or anything. So not Mum, then, not even the Polly kind. That was a bit of a puzzle but Draco liked puzzles, so it was all right. "Polly Dad?"
"Erm, no, not really." Polly man turned around, looked at Draco a bit sheepish like he'd broken a pottery on accident or something, and he had very green eyes and very nice glasses and a wicked scar right above them.
Draco didn't know many big people and he really really didn't know many big people with potions, but he knew sad smiles when he saw them and he knew big men who weren't dads who sometimes tugged their own sleeves and were quiet.
"Polly Uncle Severus," he said, certain as he could be, because if anyone was going to take potions they shouldn't, of course it would be Uncle Severus.
Dad would like that, how smart he'd been. No Polly-fooling him.
"Oh, God," Polly Uncle Severus said, like it hurt, just saying that. "Oh, God, Mal-Draco, just…"
It must have hurt too much, saying things, because Polly Uncle Severus stopped.
"It's all right," Draco said, and patted his hand. "Dad will know what to do, Dad always does." Then he squinted to make the thinking about things easier, because this was a lot to think about, really. "Or maybe Mum? She was Polly Mum for a bit, she'll know how to make you Uncle Severus for real again."
Then Polly Uncle Severus started yelling "My-oh-knee, my-oh-knee," at the door and Draco giggled because what were oh-knees, anyway, but before he could ask, there was Polly Mum at the door, looking sad and quiet.
***
"Polly Mum!" Draco raced across the room, forgot about running in the manor until Polly Mum's eyes widened but he stopped and his shoes screeched and he said, "You said you wouldn't take any more."
Polly Uncle Severus said, "What?" as Polly Mum said, "Oh," then, "No, no, I didn't mean to, it was a mistake, someone-" and she looked mad at a big ginger man with one ear, mad like she'd go for her wand, and Draco moved closer to Polly Uncle Severus to hide because Mum mad was Not Good. It worked, too, hiding with Polly Uncle Severus, because Mum didn't look down at him, she looked up at Polly Uncle Severus like Draco wasn't even there. "-put something in the juice because he's a big git who'll be apologizing from now until forever about it, won't he, George?"
One of the big gingers went all red and the other one went shifty and one of them said, "Oi, they got on when they were small, if you leave them alone, they'll sort themselves out," and a dark-haired lady Draco thought he'd seen before smacked the ginger right on the arm and said, "You'd best hope they do, because if they don't…your balls, my ear bobs, am I clear?" She was scary, too, worse than the gingers, and the one she'd just smacked smirked a bit and said yeah, yeah, she was clear, there was no call to be threatening his bits but she could have at them anytime she pleased, really, and when he'd said that much, she smacked him again.
Polly Uncle Severus said, "Erm, yeah, I figured," and rubbed at his neck. "Any chance it'll end soon?"
"Sorry, no. Not as long as last time, but he says he's not tried it, just heard M-A-L-F-O-Y talk about it."
"Wait, wait, what? S'one of Mal-M-A-L-his?" Polly Uncle Severus didn't like that, whatever Mal-his was.
"Yeah," Polly Mum said with a bit of a smirk. "Apparently he's made himself quite at home in the Wheeze lab."
"Well, yeah, s'a lab, yeah? Kind of his home territory, isn't it?"
"Polly Mum," Draco said sternly, this was important. "It is not time to chat. Uncle Severus Polly'd himself and he. Needs. Help."
"He thinks you're Severus?" Polly Mum asked, like it was funny. Polly Not Uncle Severus shrugged and said, "Yeah, I know, I can't…" but he didn't finish, so Draco didn't know what he couldn't.
***
Polly Mum crouched down and Polly Mum explained and really, adults were silly, not even knowing who they were.
"He's not Uncle Severus? Even the Polly kind?" Draco worried then, because who else could it be? He'd ask Polly Uncle Severus, only it wasn't Uncle Severus, and he hadn't said or anything, so maybe he didn't know?
"No, sweet, he's not," Polly Mum said, patient as ever. "He's a very dear friend of mine, though."
"Really? Is this like the nursery? Are these their dads?"
Polly Mum laughed a bit, but it was nervous, too. "Not quite."
***
"If you're not Uncle Severus, we should go find him. He'll make you right, he's good with potions."
"We can't, sweet, your Uncle Severus isn't here anymore," the blonde lady said, and she touched his hair like she was his mum, but she wasn't, she was Nev's Polly Someone Luna. It was nice, her touching his hair, she was all right, but there were those gingers by the door, all hovered about Polly Mum and her dark-haired friend yelling, and Draco thought gingers were very scary indeed but not as scary as mums on a tear.
Merlin, he missed Harry. And maybe Pansy, even if she wanted to play house all the time, because he didn't know anyone but Polly Mum and she wasn't even there anymore, she'd left him to yell.
And then he saw Teddy.
***
It was all right, seeing Teddy again, Teddy wasn't scary like gingers or anything, but he wasn't Harry, either, Harry wasn't there, even when Draco looked and looked.
Teddy didn't seem too happy to see Draco, either, because he clapped a hand over his mouth and stared for a bit, even though it was rude, staring, then turned to the man beside him and said, "He's little? Why is he little? Nev, this wasn't in the plan."
Draco thought maybe the whole world had gone mad.
And maybe Polly Uncle Severus didn't think he really was Uncle Severus, but at least he wasn't yelling, so Draco stayed close to be safe.
***
Teddy's big friend, Nev, had to drag him away from the yelling, shouting, "How's he meant to play now? Look at him, he doesn't even have his wand, he doesn't know about being mates with big people and he's no Grr and he'll be scared, what were you thinking?" at the gingers. Draco looked at Polly Not Uncle Severus, who was a bit of a Polly puzzle, really, and he knew Polly Mum was wrong about it not being Uncle Severus because when he squirmed in close to be safe from the yelling, Polly Puzzle looked down like Draco had fangs and would maybe bite him.
"All right, then?" Polly Puzzle asked, sounding a bit daft.
Draco nodded. "There's an awful lot of yelling," he whispered. Polly Puzzle nodded back and relaxed a bit, like they were their own quiet little corner of the couch. "Are we in trouble?"
"Not really, no. It's just, it's a bit of a surprise, I guess."
"What is? Is it not a good surprise?" Surprises were fun, sometimes, but there was yelling, so he guessed maybe this one wasn't.
Polly Puzzle took a deep breath and leaned in a bit. Not much, not like Mum sharing secret stories, but just like Uncle Severus. Like getting too close might give him fits. "Just a surprise. We, erm, weren't expecting to see you today is all. Your, erm, your mum, she…" and Polly Puzzle flapped a hand about.
It was pretty silly, the hand flapping, but it was a pretty silly surprise, too, finding Draco Malfoy in Malfoy Manor, and when he said so, Polly Puzzle looked a bit daft, like he hadn't known that.
***
"So if you're not Uncle Severus, then who are you?"
"I'm, erm, Harry," Polly Puzzle said, and he looked very serious even when he was joking, Draco knew Harry and Harry wasn't big, Harry was still just his size. Best mates knew these sorts of things about each other, whether they were big or small, he was certain. So Draco told Polly Puzzle, who said, "Look, Draco, I…" and his voice snapped like crackers at tea and he looked at the gingers again. Only this time, he looked at them like they'd stolen his biscuits. "I'm not who you think, all right? Not Sna-Severus or your mum or your dad or anyone. Just…I'm just Harry, okay?"
"Well, you smile like Uncle Severus," he said, because he'd been wrong maybe but he hadn't been silly.
"Do I?"
"Well, yeah. Like it hurts. Does it?"
"Oh, God," Polly Puzzle said, and Draco said, "I'm not God, I'm Draco," and Polly Not Uncle Severus put his face in his hands and used words Mum didn't like.
***
Teddy's big friend dragged him over to the couch and away from the yelling, and Teddy didn't look happy about it at all, Teddy looked like he was in trouble.
"Go on, then," Teddy's big mate said, and Teddy kicked the carpet, Teddy was silly, Teddy was bullying the furnishings. "Ask him, Teddy. Maybe Draco wants to play, too."
Teddy kicked the carpet again and shuffled like Harry, only it wasn't fun when Teddy did it, it was just strange. "D'you want to play with us?"
"What are we playing?" Maybe Teddy wasn't yelling anymore, but he was bullying the furnishings, which wasn't much better, really, so Draco looked up to make sure it was safe. Polly Puzzle looked like he didn't know, either.
"Aurors and Death Eaters," Teddy's big mate said with another nudge and Teddy said, "You 'n Harry can be a team again, Uncle Dragon, if you swear you won't fight again."
Draco ignored the bit where Teddy had him confused with Harry because really, they'd only just met and they weren't best mates or anything, and anyway, there was something far more important to think about.
And when he did, it made sense. Draco looked up at Polly Puzzle, who wasn't such a puzzle anymore, and said, "You're Uncle Dragon?"
Which was a bit brilliant, when he thought about it, because he had a few things to say to Uncle Dragon.
***
Uncle Dragon tried saying he really wasn't, that he was really Harry, and Draco'd had enough of that story, it wasn't a very good one and really Harry'd said Uncle Dragon told good stories, so Draco thought he could start any time and he said so. And Uncle Dragon gaped a bit, and Teddy's big mate did, too, and Teddy said, "Merlin," and covered his face with his hands like he'd just heard it wasn't really Christmas.
"I really think I should go now," Uncle Dragon said, and he tried to get up but Draco grabbed his arm and squeezed so he'd know Draco was serious.
"You can't leave yet," Draco said. "You'll miss Harry."
"It'll be fine, I promise."
Draco scowled then, sharp and fast. "It won't. You can't make promises, you don't ever keep them."
"I do."
"You don't. Didn't see you at story time at all, did I? With Harry looking and everything. And...and...and you shouldn't say things you don't mean, s'not right, lying to people, saying things you don't mean."
"You said that bit."
"Oh." Draco scowled. Looked hard at Teddy, because Teddy should know about Uncle Dragons and such, Teddy seemed that sort. Only, Teddy didn't say anything, Teddy just shook his head and hid, so Draco was all on his own.
He wanted to poke at Uncle Dragon's lying with his wand like Dad did sometimes with his snake stick, only Draco didn't have a wand or a snake stick yet and anyway, Uncle Dragon's lies weren't things he could actually see, which made it tricky.
"Why would you lie? He missed you and he made me watch out for you and we might have missed story and snack and you weren't ever coming. And...and...m'dad, he's not perfect, he even says so and Mum says so lots, but when he says something, he means it, and I'd feel awful if he didn't, I couldn't trust a thing he'd said, and…and…" Uncle Dragons were tricky, they kept stealing his words. So maybe this was why Teddy was bossy, then, just trying to keep his words and everything. "And when you say something, you should mean it."
Teddy told his big mate he didn't think there'd be playing after all, and Draco thought maybe they shuffled off, but he wasn't really watching them, he was watching Uncle Dragon, who was pretty much just watching him back.
"I do mean it," Uncle Dragon said carefully, like he was finding his words, which was all right, Draco did that, too, especially when they were big ones. "I'm sorry about what happened with your friend-Harry, was it?" Draco scowled that Uncle Dragon wouldn't remember, Harry was brilliant, Draco couldn't imagine anyone forgetting him, and Uncle Dragon nodded a bit. "Yeah, all right. Look, I won't do it again. Okay?"
Draco peered again, peered like Dad when Draco offered to help Uncle Severus in the lab. "And you'll say you're sorry?"
"What?"
"Harry really missed you. He was sad. I had to kiss him on the forehead and everything. So you should apologize." Uncle Dragon went a bit strange then, and hissed a bit, and Draco could understand that, it was a very big word. "That means you say you're sorry. And you have to mean it."
Uncle Dragon kind of smiled and kind of frowned and kind of nodded. "I will. This time, I'll mean it."
***
"Well, aren't you lot cheery as hell?" the dark-haired Polly mum said, falling onto the couch beside him like she'd just had the world's best play. "Enjoying your crash course in Malfoy-minding, Potter?"
"He thinks I'm Snape with a personality disorder and Teddy thinks I'm a twat with a violence problem. Really, it's been my day for children."
The dark-haired Polly mum snorted a bit, and Draco said, "He is Uncle Dragon," and the dark-haired Polly mum sprayed her drink everywhere like she was a hose.
"Well well. Moving up in the world, are we? It's about time, at that."
Draco didn't know what that meant, but he knew that slitty-eyed look, so he said, "It's okay, he's said he'll apologize to Harry about before."
"Has he?" The dark-haired Polly mum still looked slitty, but it didn't look mean or mad or anything, so Draco supposed that was all right, too. "Do tell."
"Leave off, Parkinson, please? This day's hell enough already. Just tell me when George thinks it might be over or leave us be."
"And miss this? Not for the world, Potter, not for all the Galleons in Gringotts. Been waiting for it since, I don't know, fourth year, maybe." The way Parksinson looked at him made Draco nervous, like she saw things he couldn't, and Uncle Dragon looked sad again, so Draco turned a bit and hugged his arm. "Don't suppose I need to say that if you hurt him, I'll do vicious wicked things to you, do I?"
Uncle Dragon said no, she really didn't, and then he said, "Fourth year?" in a very small voice, and Parksinson said it again, and said he'd have to find out the rest for himself, she'd done her bit, and they were quiet and strange until someone put a hand on Draco's back like a hug.
***
"Is Uncle Severus a portrait?" Draco didn't like that, there'd be no brewing things if he was a portrait, Draco never wanted to be a portrait if he could help it, and he said so.
Uncle Dragon said sometimes people didn't get to choose whether they'd be portraits or not, and at least if they were, people could still talk to them sometimes, not everybody got to be a portrait, after all, so it wasn't all bad. Draco asked did Uncle Severus's portrait have a space for potions, because he thought Uncle Severus would like that, making potions any time he wanted, and Uncle Dragon said yeah, maybe it did, and Draco said that was okay, then, Uncle Severus in a portrait if he had potions to make him happy.
Uncle Severus liked potions, even if he didn't smile about them like Draco smiled about stories and mates and Grr.
Uncle Dragon said that was probably true, and he didn't ask about Grr or anything, maybe Uncle Dragons knew about stuffed dragons?
And Parksinson said that would be nice, a trip to the portraits might keep them busy until it wore off, and Uncle Dragon nodded a bit and Draco hopped because a field trip? Exciting.
***
So Uncle Dragon, who wasn't really a dragon, took him to see Uncle Severus, who was really a portrait, and it was exciting a bit, seeing Uncle Severus was always more fun than it should be and they were going to make sure he could make potions in his picture because if he couldn't, he'd never be happy and that was no good, Uncle Severus deserved to be happy, didn't he?
Uncle Dragon said he thought so, too, and he looked at Draco like Draco'd taken his biscuits and Draco squeezed his hand and said, "You're making the wibbly face again," because maybe they were like smiles, wibbly faces, maybe they ran away on Uncle Dragon without ever saying.
So then Uncle Dragon just looked sad a bit, like he'd looked sad all day, but there was no wibbling, which was good-ish, and Draco wished he had Grr, who was brilliant like Mum at cheering up, 'specially when it was about things he shouldn't wibble over, anyway.
And he said so aloud, about wanting Grr and why, and Uncle Dragon made a squeak then, and Draco said, "No, no, he really does grrr, s'how he got his name, and he's brilliant at stories," and Uncle Dragon bit his lip.
Uncle Dragon did that lots, the lip biting, Draco thought that was weird, that might hurt or something, but he didn't say that, he just held Uncle Dragon's hand and let Uncle Dragon lead the way.
***
Uncle Severus did that slitty-eyed thing he did, what Mum called his I Am Severus, You Are For Chopping look, and Uncle Dragon squared his shoulders and cocked his head.
"Sir," he said as Uncle Severus said, "Mr. Potter," in a very growlly voice, and Draco thought that was silly, both of them pretending to be dragons when they were clearly both boys. When he giggled, Portrait Uncle Severus looked down at him and blinked and said, "Master Malfoy, I presume? Where is your father, boy, and why has he let Potter, of all people, in the Manor?"
"I dunno, really. Where's Dad, Uncle Dragon?"
"Uncle Dragon?" Portrait Uncle Severus looked like his name tasted like potions. The bad ones.
"Well, erm, yes, sir, there was…Draco and I were just-"
"Draco?" Portrait Uncle Severus rubbed his nose, and Draco said, "Yes?" and Portrait Uncle Severus said, "I pray, Mr. Potter, that this is some absurd form of narcissism and that you have not, as I suspect, brought me my godson like that."
"You have another godson? Is it Harry? I like Harry," Draco said, but Uncle Dragon shushed him and said, "Well, sir, there was this Wheeze…"
***
"You shouldn't use those words, Uncle Severus, Polly Mum might hear and she won't like it."
Portrait Uncle Severus looked like someone pinched his face and said, "Polly Mum?" to Uncle Dragon like he'd forgotten Draco again, and Uncle Dragon said, "Her-my-oh-knee," very quiet, like it was a secret, and Portrait Uncle Severus almost looked pleased. Well, please for Uncle Severus.
"Good. Then you haven't shrunk all the sense in the place, no doubt despite yourself."
***
"D'you want me to leave?" Uncle Dragon asked him. "So you can have a proper visit with your uncle, if you'd like?"
Draco shook his head and squeezed hard on Uncle Dragon's hand so there'd be no going. "I'm sure you've loads to say to him, you've been talking m'ear off all afternoon," Uncle Dragon said. That didn't sound good, exactly, Mum said that thing about ears off when she saw her regular friends and they all cooed a bit like it was sad.
"Was that what happened to George?" Merlin, this was scary, dead mums and fallen-off ears might be going 'round, bad things happened with Pollys and Uncle Dragon, did they follow him? And when he asked, Uncle Dragon said yeah, yeah, he'd always been a bit of a magnet for trouble but he didn't mean that, either, and before Draco could ask about magnets, Portrait Uncle Severus said some people Accio'd trouble and some people were its Point-Me, and he said lots more, but Draco didn't do either so Draco didn't really understand.
He understood the yelling, though, and Mum really wouldn't like those words indeed.
***
"Is it all right in your portrait?" Draco asked, and yeah, maybe he was in.ter.upt.ing, which was a bit rude, but they were yelling, which was also a bit rude, and there were two of them and just one of him, so it was more rudeness, the yelling. So it was practically all right, then.
"Sorry?" Uncle Dragon said, which was silly, he didn't even have a portrait yet, and Uncle Severus said, "It is as tolerable as such things may be."
Which was Uncle Severus for "yes", Draco thought, but he had to think about it. "D'you need anything? A book or a juice or anything?"
"I prefer my afterlife devoid of Wheeze infestation, thank you kindly, Master Malfoy."
And Uncle Dragon said that wasn't fair, they hadn't meant it, and anyway, the ferret was in on it, he'd actually made it, and Uncle Severus said that meant nothing, they were a menace whose utter disregard for others would get someone killed or worse one day, and Uncle Dragon went all red and angry and he yelled that Snape didn't know, Snape hadn't seen that part but they'd lost Fred and George had no fucking ear and they'd bloody lost Remus and Tonks and a whole bunch of names Draco didn't know, and really, Draco was lost.
So Draco said, "Do the gingers scare you, too? Because they scared Harry, they were loud and they didn't know about space," and Uncle Severus said, "Do tell, Master Malfoy, I find that both plausible and promising," and Uncle Dragon called someone a git and there was more yelling.
And Draco'd had quite enough of the yelling, thanks.
So he put his fingers in his mouth like Mum sometimes and whistled hard.
When they both were looking at him and not yelling or anything, Draco told them about indoor voices and the having enough already, and asked could they be nice now or would they have to go to their rooms for a think?
He wasn't surprised at all when they said they'd be nice; he didn't think going to his room for a think was much fun, either.
***
They talked about flowers lots, which were a bit girly, really, and Uncle Severus said he'd needed lilies and narcissas, and Uncle Dragon said he'd needed narcissas, too, and not just lilies, and Draco asked were they making the same thing, then, and why hadn't they just made it together?
***
He was tired of just standing, so he tugged Uncle Dragon's sleeve lots and Uncle Dragon kept looking down at him like he didn't understand, and Portrait Uncle Severus said, "He wants you to pick him up," like he was laughing.
"Oh. Erm. Really?" Draco nodded and held up his arms so it would be easy.
And it was easy, and it was nice, Uncle Dragon had a nice shoulder, and Draco thought he'd have known it wasn't Uncle Severus if Uncle Dragon had just picked him up before, because he didn't smell a thing like potions.
***
Then they'd both said about Dumble doors, and it made them both sad again, like the smiling hurt, and Draco couldn't hug portraits but he could hug people, so he did. Uncle Dragon hugged back without being asked or anything, just put his hand on Draco's back and squeezed a bit like Dad did, and when they'd stopped hugging, Draco looked special at Portrait Uncle Severus to make sure he knew. And Uncle Severus did know, and Uncle Severus did vampire hands and slitty eyes and said, "You are, perhaps, not wholly your father's son after all."
"Like to think I'm a bit of both, sir, and quite a lot of myself."
***
"Clingy little thing, isn't he?" Uncle Dragon said, and Uncle Severus said no, he wasn't always, and Uncle Dragon said yeah, he'd seen that for himself, thanks, had the bruises to prove it.
"You mistake me, idiot boy," Uncle Severus said. "He does not often get attached, but where he does, he is intractable. The things he's done for those he loves are…" but Uncle Severus didn't finish that, so Draco didn't know what. "Do not believe, Mr. Potter, that you know him."
Uncle Dragon said, "I know I don't, but I'm trying," and Uncle Severus was pleased, even if he looked rather angry.
"I believe you mean that."
Uncle Dragon cleared his throat and said, "I do."
***
It was hard, leaving Portrait Uncle Severus, but he promised Draco could come visit lots, any time he wanted, and when Draco asked, Portrait Uncle Severus said yes, Draco could even bring his mate Harry, and Uncle Dragon said thanks, he appreciated that, and drew Uncle Severus's drapes.
***
"He looks fairly tired," Polly Mum said, and Uncle Dragon said yeah, yeah, he thought Draco was, and Polly Mum said, "Well, that's good, then. It's ending; we weren't sure it would…"
"I remember, it wore me out. Haven't been that tired since the war, I don't think, so yeah-" Uncle Dragon brushed Draco's hair off his forehead a bit and half-smiled sweet, and Draco didn't want to nap but he did like the petting so he snuggled in a bit, made himself tiny and there on Uncle Dragon's shoulder. "Think it's maybe bedtime for someone, yeah?"
"Careful with him on the stairs," Polly Mum said, and Parksinson said, "Oh my Muggle aunt, that's too adorable for words, that is, where's the camera?"
And another good thing about Uncle Dragon's shoulder? When he laughed, it rumbled funny through his chest, right in Draco's ear, and Draco really liked that, too.
***
"Don't want to nap," Draco said, clearly so Uncle Dragon would understand there'd be no napping even if they were in his room. Which was Grrless, thank you very much.
"Are you sure about that? Because you're yawning an awful lot for someone who's not even a little bit sleepy."
"That's because I am sleepy." No Grr, no nap. Draco knew how this worked, Grr hadn't run off by himself.
"So then, nap time, yeah?"
"Nap time, no." Because what if he napped and Harry came, and Draco was sleeping so Harry went home? So he explained about missing Harry, and Uncle Dragon let him finish.
Thought about it. "Even this age, you're bloody Slytherin, aren't you?" Uncle Dragon said but Draco didn't think he'd been meant to hear, he thought maybe Uncle Dragon was talking to himself like Dad did sometimes when Draco was being silly. "Look, I'm pants at this kids thing. No clue, really, you should see me with nappies, it's horrible. Sticking Charms everywhere and crying babies and really, just chaos."
"You know I'm not in nappies, right?" Draco was worried, nappies were for babies. "I'm four." He held up his fingers. All of them, because he was almost five and thumbs were almost fingers, and he wiggled his thumb and explained about almosts so Uncle Dragon would know.
"Right. Erm. Right." Uncle Dragon nodded once like his head slipped. "So you tell me, then, what it's going to take to get you in bed."
"Anything?"
"Anything."
And, well, maybe Draco wasn't Slytherin yet, but he might be someday, and he'd been practicing with Dad, so he smirked a bit and said, "Well, we'll start with a story."
***
Uncle Dragon's first story didn't get very far, because Draco had questions and Draco had ants in his pants when he had questions, Mum said so, and when Uncle Dragon stopped to ask what was wrong, why was there squirming and not napping, Draco asked his questions and Uncle Dragon choked a bit.
"Why was his name Puff? Isn't that a silly name for a dragon? Was he a silly dragon? Did the nother dragons make fun of him? S'not nice, making fun, it's im.pol.ite."
"There were no other dragons," Uncle Dragon said after a bit.
"No other dragons? Pfft. Of course there were, what about his mum? Wasn't she a dragon? Dragons can be girls, you know, they're not always boys."
"I know. Met one, haven't I?" Uncle Dragon kind of smiled and rubbed his neck a bit like Mum did when she talked about school.
"You've met a dragon? A girl one?" Uncle Dragon nodded and said yeah, yeah he had, he'd had to fly past her while she'd been defending her egg and she'd been mean a bit, and blown fire at him and chased him and everything, and when Uncle Dragon quieted down again because he was a bit excited talking about his girl dragon, Draco said, "That. Is. Cool."
Because someone should.
***
"You really promise?"
Uncle Dragon stopped his story and didn't even say Draco shouldn't interrupt or anything, just sort of petted him like Mum did when he was sick. "Yeah, I promise. You'll know the minute Harry gets here. Now…we've got a story to finish here and someone has a nap to take, I believe, hrm?"
So Draco thought about that, because Uncle Dragons and promises were tricky, but when he'd missed some of the story for thinking, he decided maybe Uncle Dragon had learned his lesson about lying. Maybe this time, it was all right.
***
"What's your really real name?" Merlin, he was sleepy, Uncle Dragon was good at stories, just like Harry'd said.
"Thought we'd figured out I'm Uncle Dragon, yeah?" Uncle Dragon put their book down and poked Draco's nose a bit, pressed it and smiled a really real smile.
"Silly." Draco scrunched his nose and made a face. "You're not really a dragon."
Uncle Dragon gasped and clutched at his chest like he'd died, but he wasn't hurt, he was just fooling. Uncle Dragon was pretty good at that, fooling. "Not really a dragon? Not really a dragon? The hell you say."
"Well, you're not really a dragon, are you?" Draco grinned, it felt good, trusting Uncle Dragon, he liked Uncle Dragon and maybe they were friends, too. "You're really a boy. Because dragons, they say grrrr-" and he put on his best dragony face and made claws with his fingers. "-but boys, they say erm. And you say erm loads. So you. Are. A boy." And Draco poked Uncle Dragon's nose back, which made Uncle Dragon laugh.
"Some boys say erm, yeah," Uncle Dragon said. "And some boys say other things."
"Like what?"
"Like, erm, riddikulus," and Uncle Dragon tickled him right on his belly and Draco laughed and laughed, and he couldn't make Uncle Dragon stop even when he wiggled and couldn’t breathe for giggling.
***
So Uncle Dragon wasn't so bad, really, he was actually really brilliant when he was there, and Draco said so, and Uncle Dragon said thanks, Draco was pretty brilliant himself, and Draco said, "I can't wait until Harry sees you, he'll be so excited, he really, really missed you last time."
Which made Uncle Dragon look sad, and Draco didn't want Uncle Dragon sad, he liked Uncle Dragon laughing, so he sat up and said, "Don't be sad, Harry's coming back, he promised, Harry wouldn't lie about a thing like that, we're best mates," and he kissed Uncle Dragon right on the cheek.
He almost didn't notice Uncle Dragon hadn't ever said his really real name. Almost.
***
"D'you think he's happy?"
"Who?"
"Grr. With Harry. D'you think he misses me?"
Uncle Dragon made a face like he wasn't sure what to think. "I bet he does, yeah. You, erm, you know he's with Harry, then?"
Draco nodded and made a very serious face, because he knew exactly what to think. "I forgot, but he's not on my bed. He's always on my bed. And I remembered Harry on my bed, too, and now they're both gone, so that's all right, then, as long as they're gone together and they've not run off forever or anything." He really, really didn't want to ask, but he worried. "Have they?"
"They'll be back," Uncle Dragon said, and petted Draco's head again to mess up his hair. "Just, you have to nap first, all right? And if you still can't find them when you wake up, I'll show you myself. Okay?"
"Okay." Draco yawned big, so big he thought his mouth was bigger than his whole face maybe. "Can you stay with me? Don't like the dark by myself. S'scary."
"I'll just, erm, maybe sit here by the-" Uncle Dragon said, and Draco had to cut him off because he sounded a bit odd and panicky. Really, he was so much like Uncle Severus it was ridiculous.
"You have to stay where I can hug you, maybe. Like Grr does."
He thought he might have to explain that to Uncle Dragon, too, but he didn't. Uncle Dragon just said, "Sure, yeah, where d'you want me?" and he looked a bit funny when Draco patted Grr's pillow, but he didn't whinge at all.
Monster-guarding dragons were very good things, after all. Whether they were really dragons or not.
***
And the last thing he heard before he fell asleep for real was Uncle Dragon saying, "Please, Merlin, just don't hate me for this, too, yeah?"
~tbc~