[JP] - A letter to someone who's betrayed you.
Dear Tina,
This will never get posted because although I can find out and you have to know a big part of me wants to I don't know where you live and I don't suppose you'd appreciate this turning up on your doorstep after to left without so much as a 'kiss my ass' because after all you've done a great job in hiding yourself and our son and I'd hate to undo all your hard work after all.
I don't even know why I'm writing this, I don't know why I'm even half contemplating pouring my heart out onto this page when you won't even read it. Not that you'd give a shit after all, because you obviously didn't when you left. I know I haven't always, no I've NEVER been the man you knew (and I know) you deserve but you didn't have to leave. So I was fucked up, so I drunk more and smoked more and took more drugs in one week than most people see in a fucking lifetime but it ISN'T the POINT, Tina. The point is you took away OUR son, my flesh and fucking blood - you took him away along with any chance then of anything that might have given me a reason to get clean.
Is it because I didn't love you? Hell I didn't even love MYSELF at that point, I couldn't love anyone else. After you left... you know what? Fuck it. It's not as if you'd actually care. You don't care. You probably don't even think about me, he probably doesn't even know me whilst he's running around calling some ELSE Daddy. Does he even look like me? So MUCH wants him to, so that you have to live every day with the reminder of WHOSE child he is I hope for his sake that he looks like you.
Are you married? Do you have those 5 children you wanted? Do you have that normal life with the white picket fence, a house in the country, a husband who can give you everything I didn't have a hope in hell of ever doing?
I'm clean now, nearly three months. I met this girl you see. Her name is Rebecca. She's...awesome, he understands, she knows what it's like to be in the places I was in with no way of ever getting out. We're quitting together, her and I, starting anew - together. Everyone's settled in New York City, we've got this huge place, Sweep's got a girlfriend too, they're getting married pretty soon. We're close to getting signed.
My life is looking up after so many years... maybe I deserve it, maybe I don't but I don't give a shit anymore I'm happy. I'm happy.
Send him my love and tell him Daddy never once stopped thinking about him.
Casper.
This will never get posted because although I can find out and you have to know a big part of me wants to I don't know where you live and I don't suppose you'd appreciate this turning up on your doorstep after to left without so much as a 'kiss my ass' because after all you've done a great job in hiding yourself and our son and I'd hate to undo all your hard work after all.
I don't even know why I'm writing this, I don't know why I'm even half contemplating pouring my heart out onto this page when you won't even read it. Not that you'd give a shit after all, because you obviously didn't when you left. I know I haven't always, no I've NEVER been the man you knew (and I know) you deserve but you didn't have to leave. So I was fucked up, so I drunk more and smoked more and took more drugs in one week than most people see in a fucking lifetime but it ISN'T the POINT, Tina. The point is you took away OUR son, my flesh and fucking blood - you took him away along with any chance then of anything that might have given me a reason to get clean.
Is it because I didn't love you? Hell I didn't even love MYSELF at that point, I couldn't love anyone else. After you left... you know what? Fuck it. It's not as if you'd actually care. You don't care. You probably don't even think about me, he probably doesn't even know me whilst he's running around calling some ELSE Daddy. Does he even look like me? So MUCH wants him to, so that you have to live every day with the reminder of WHOSE child he is I hope for his sake that he looks like you.
Are you married? Do you have those 5 children you wanted? Do you have that normal life with the white picket fence, a house in the country, a husband who can give you everything I didn't have a hope in hell of ever doing?
I'm clean now, nearly three months. I met this girl you see. Her name is Rebecca. She's...awesome, he understands, she knows what it's like to be in the places I was in with no way of ever getting out. We're quitting together, her and I, starting anew - together. Everyone's settled in New York City, we've got this huge place, Sweep's got a girlfriend too, they're getting married pretty soon. We're close to getting signed.
My life is looking up after so many years... maybe I deserve it, maybe I don't but I don't give a shit anymore I'm happy. I'm happy.
Send him my love and tell him Daddy never once stopped thinking about him.
Casper.