Well it's about time!!
So yeah, i haven't written in a week or so. dragoneyes19 has been poking me to write more. Today i actually feel like writing.
I had some pretty brilliant suggestions the last go around. I really like the positive affirmations list. I REALLY LIKE IT!! After today i have realized some things about myself. I take my work entirely too seriously. My brain just doesn't work like it used to.. and I'll cry at the drop of a hat.
My poor boss.
He's only trying to do his job. He's new to the position. I don't think he's managed this many people before. And he's getting tons of pressure from above to produce more.. and more... and more.. Of course the more and more and more is to come from my small team of people(which is part of a larger team of 50). So he asked me to sew. I did, but not what he wanted. SO he called to his desk and asked what i was doing. And he asked if he communicated well with me earlier on what he wanted. I tried to answer him. I really did.. but all that came out were tears. There are some days i hate my brain. He was very patient and when i had my senses back, explained to him why i did what i did. Well a long story short.. I spent the rest of the day thinking.. "Why the hell did i just start crying? It was a perfectly normal question that he asked."
I take my work very seriously. Too seriously. And i can see it in my fibro flares, that the stress sets off. I need to relax. Not saying that will help me like my job any better. But maybe it will help my sanity.
I also need to remember that i am a good and knowledgeable person. I need to stand by my decisions. And if questioned on them, i have logical reason for them. Confidence. I have it. Hell i help lead a team of 50 people, most of whom do not speak english very well, or at all. SO if that's not confidence, i don't know what is.
This is where the positive affirmations come in! (and a three day weekend ). I need to write them down and say them to myself. I spend too many years as a child getting beat down with words and actions. The suffering from that still peeks out. Sometimes you just need to build yourself up. The fibro hasn't helped. My mental capacity has vastly diminished. I used to have a memory of an Elephant. Now, i'm lucky i remember where i'm going. (Hell, there was one time i had to call greenepona so she could tell me how to get to her house.. that i had been to numerous times. I was on my way there and had just forgotten where i was going).
So positive affirmations it is...
I'm a good and knowledgeable person.
I make good decisions.
I am confident in those decisions.
I am a confident person.
And i freaking need to relax!!!!
I can't change everything at once. I'm not even going to try. Though, at times, I would like to run away and live on the beach in a small effiencey with my jasmine pug... and comb the beach for shells during storms. That's my happy place.. ahhhhhhhhhhh
I had some pretty brilliant suggestions the last go around. I really like the positive affirmations list. I REALLY LIKE IT!! After today i have realized some things about myself. I take my work entirely too seriously. My brain just doesn't work like it used to.. and I'll cry at the drop of a hat.
My poor boss.
He's only trying to do his job. He's new to the position. I don't think he's managed this many people before. And he's getting tons of pressure from above to produce more.. and more... and more.. Of course the more and more and more is to come from my small team of people(which is part of a larger team of 50). So he asked me to sew. I did, but not what he wanted. SO he called to his desk and asked what i was doing. And he asked if he communicated well with me earlier on what he wanted. I tried to answer him. I really did.. but all that came out were tears. There are some days i hate my brain. He was very patient and when i had my senses back, explained to him why i did what i did. Well a long story short.. I spent the rest of the day thinking.. "Why the hell did i just start crying? It was a perfectly normal question that he asked."
I take my work very seriously. Too seriously. And i can see it in my fibro flares, that the stress sets off. I need to relax. Not saying that will help me like my job any better. But maybe it will help my sanity.
I also need to remember that i am a good and knowledgeable person. I need to stand by my decisions. And if questioned on them, i have logical reason for them. Confidence. I have it. Hell i help lead a team of 50 people, most of whom do not speak english very well, or at all. SO if that's not confidence, i don't know what is.
This is where the positive affirmations come in! (and a three day weekend ). I need to write them down and say them to myself. I spend too many years as a child getting beat down with words and actions. The suffering from that still peeks out. Sometimes you just need to build yourself up. The fibro hasn't helped. My mental capacity has vastly diminished. I used to have a memory of an Elephant. Now, i'm lucky i remember where i'm going. (Hell, there was one time i had to call greenepona so she could tell me how to get to her house.. that i had been to numerous times. I was on my way there and had just forgotten where i was going).
So positive affirmations it is...
I'm a good and knowledgeable person.
I make good decisions.
I am confident in those decisions.
I am a confident person.
And i freaking need to relax!!!!
I can't change everything at once. I'm not even going to try. Though, at times, I would like to run away and live on the beach in a small effiencey with my jasmine pug... and comb the beach for shells during storms. That's my happy place.. ahhhhhhhhhhh