But sound of water over rock/drip drop drip drop
If there was waterAnd no rock
But there is no water
....nor useful line indentions.
I don't want to tell people who know a lot more than me about how to do their job, but is it too much to ask that if LJ gives us all these options, they actually. Work?
But at any rate. I really love T.S. Eliot as a poet. Reading his poetry is *headexplosion* because it's so complicated and the footnotes are, like, ahdjfkshafkldhlk, half the page long, and they're different between versions, like people haven't researched "The Waste Land" enough already, and it's still on the bare edges of my understanding, but it's still so wonderful, and there's something very simple about:
If there were rock
And also water
And water
A spring
A pool among the rock
If there were the sound of water only
Not the cicada
And dry grass singing
But sound of water over a rock
It was only when I read it again this semester that I started having an inkling what Eliot's purpose in "The Waste Land" was, and how to take the poem as a whole based on it. But, ahdjkfslkdfs, like I said, I'm still barely clinging to it at the edge of my head. I don't think I have the vocabulary to articulate it properly, and I wouldn't want to spend my time putting into words all the ways he uses it within the poem, but, to put it shortly: the modern world as a waste land, that is looking for an influx of the creative power (or "water) to become reborn, a "death by water" that results in revialization and resurrection. And ultimately, in "The Waste Land" that death and rebirth is not fulfilled.
It's been rather sucky this semester. Not anymore than any previous particular semester I guess, but there are a few things about it that I can pick out that I'm not pleased about and have been rather stuck on. The first one that I've been constantly reminded of is that I seemed to have hit a special area in development in my social awkwardness. And I can't get out of it.
I'm not a particulary funny person. I'm a pretty serious-minded person. I mean, I have my moments, but when I hear something or talk about something it's not my first instinct to think "now, how can I make a joke out of this?" I like making people laugh, but I've never been particularly good at making jokes, so for the most part I let other people make their's and laugh at them.
My funny bone has gone seriously retarded.
I still think other people's jokes are funny and all (fuck it if I ever stop laughing period) but I haven't been able to crack one on my own in what has felt like (and probably has been) months. This has bothered me a lot lately. A lot my friends and the people I hang out with at college are really funny characters and I feel like if I can't return I'm sticking out of the group. It felt like last semester I didn't have this problem, or not to the extent that it was as noticable as it is now. I just don't know why I'm like this. I really don't want to do the lame thing and look for stuff online to talk about (well, I wouldn't do it anyway because a) don't have the time, and b) the lameness of it is too much for me) but I really have not been feeling it, at all. And I'm wondering if I didn't just imagine it last semester, or if there's something with my mindset during this one that's been stifling my funny parts.
I've kinda got the theory that it's the mindset one, because school has not been getting any easier. Whoever said "the-further-you-get-in-college-the-easier-it-gets" LIED!!! Not when I'm figuring out all the classes I must take to graduate in four-years on scholarship, getting involved in a lot of extra-curricular stuff, and getting into more upper-level and demanding courses. School has been ruling my life AND all of my thoughts for the past two months. I seriously have not been thinking about anything else. And I would think that would be kinda deadening if nothing else was.
School has also killed all chances for me to do any writing that doesn't pertain to school, so I haven't been doing anything on that front. :( And it doesn't look like it's going to get much better either, when I'm going to be taking two drawing class next semester (art classes KICK MY ASS) along with two upper level English classes. It doesn't matter that the classes are Sci-fi and are therefore awesomeness. I'm still going to be neglecting them to keep up in my drawing classes.
(I feel like I need water)
Not to mention, Nature's gift has STILL found a way to kick my ass even when I'm on the pill. Which should not be happening. Because that's exactly what I'm taking the pill for. And yet...
I want to enjoy the time I have in school, but with this workload I just don't see how.
(also, emo pic is emo, but that totally is Hikaru not me. ;)