Hope is a waking dream...
Dad and I had a fairly long talk about how I’ve been feeling and he opened up to me about depression and anxiety running on his side of the family. I was glad that we talked about it, however, I would’ve liked to have known about this information earlier because looking back on my life, I can think of situations where I’ve had these episodes without any form of treatment/support. I’m not upset by any means, but it does give me some insight into how I act and react to certain situations (being sad easily or angry for extended periods of time). Until now, I didn’t know that anger coincided with depression… but looking back on the events that I have been through, it does make some sense to me. With that being said, I now have the opportunity to deal with a problem that I feel I’m losing control over. I told Allen that over the last four months the physical aspects of the depression are hard to overcome: the shortness of breath, the panic and lack of sleep. He suggested that I look into some mild anti-anxiety meds to help alleviate some of the “load”, and I have a medical appointment set up for that next week. I also told him I still haven’t properly dealt with my feelings and actions/inactions surrounding the miscarriage because it is still raw in my system. As he said earlier, he’s not properly qualified to counsel me through that specific event but he thinks with the mild anti anxieties and the particular support at school, he is confident and hopeful that positive development will occur… me too.