Boom! Blah! Bang!!! Bangity-bang!
Yeah. I don't know what that was, either. =]
I think today I may try to find some way to become un-sober. Just as long as I'm far away from food, it's all good =].
So today is Day 1 of my fast. It's only 4am. But still.
I fell asleep at like 7pm, crying, with the phone next to me, waiting for him to call back. By the way, "his" name is Justin, just so this is easier to follow. We are staying friends, close friends I suppose you could say. I like this, I want this. I don't want to lose him entirely. He is the only person in the WORLD that knows everything about me. And I don't want to lose my main support, and I don't want him to lose his.
I made the comment today while we were talking that "I hate being emotional." His response was "I'm a piece of crap." I started telling him that he wasn't and asked him why he thought that. But then he had to go because someone was on the other line. That's when I fell asleep with the phone.
This still hurts, and I still wish I could change it. But...I'm beginning to accept it. I still am randomly just crying. The main thing that triggers this is the date. On the 25th it would have been five months. Would have been.
But I'm okay. I'm strong. I am strong to getthefuckoverthis. Or at least live with it.
I'm going to try to quit cutting AGAIN. For like the millionth time. This time I will though. This time it really will be over.
So, wish me luck with the fast. I'm positive that I can do this, no one is there to force food into me *cough, cough, Justin*.
Today, I asked him if I could tell him about my weight without getting mad. I don't remember his reply, but I ended up telling him how much I weigh (126). He said "126?! Sarah (my name)...Why?" He told me I was getting nasty skinny. I argued, no, I'm barely skinny, at best.
I like this. I like that he thinks I'm nasty skinny. Is that bad? Yes I believe so...
Anyways, though, I'll shut up now. =]
I got AIM downloaded today, feel free to add me : xxxasha
I think today I may try to find some way to become un-sober. Just as long as I'm far away from food, it's all good =].
So today is Day 1 of my fast. It's only 4am. But still.
I fell asleep at like 7pm, crying, with the phone next to me, waiting for him to call back. By the way, "his" name is Justin, just so this is easier to follow. We are staying friends, close friends I suppose you could say. I like this, I want this. I don't want to lose him entirely. He is the only person in the WORLD that knows everything about me. And I don't want to lose my main support, and I don't want him to lose his.
I made the comment today while we were talking that "I hate being emotional." His response was "I'm a piece of crap." I started telling him that he wasn't and asked him why he thought that. But then he had to go because someone was on the other line. That's when I fell asleep with the phone.
This still hurts, and I still wish I could change it. But...I'm beginning to accept it. I still am randomly just crying. The main thing that triggers this is the date. On the 25th it would have been five months. Would have been.
But I'm okay. I'm strong. I am strong to getthefuckoverthis. Or at least live with it.
I'm going to try to quit cutting AGAIN. For like the millionth time. This time I will though. This time it really will be over.
So, wish me luck with the fast. I'm positive that I can do this, no one is there to force food into me *cough, cough, Justin*.
Today, I asked him if I could tell him about my weight without getting mad. I don't remember his reply, but I ended up telling him how much I weigh (126). He said "126?! Sarah (my name)...Why?" He told me I was getting nasty skinny. I argued, no, I'm barely skinny, at best.
I like this. I like that he thinks I'm nasty skinny. Is that bad? Yes I believe so...
Anyways, though, I'll shut up now. =]
I got AIM downloaded today, feel free to add me : xxxasha