Sigh...........
Why all the sudden do I feel like shit. All the sudden I feel as if I dont want to live, as if I should of never existed. Why am I put through such turmoil, such pain... such suffering. Why must I be the one who deals with it all. Why always me....... why why WHY GOD DAMNIT WHY?! I feel like I'm locked in a cage all the time, unable to escape... unable to let out my feelings around others. I try so hard to let myself loose and I end up with an emotional ball of shit, wallowing and rolling in the darkest pits of a room, sulking and crying for hours on end. I cant do this anymore, I just cant take it. I've dealt with all this shit way too long............ what the fuck am I talking about, why cant I be fucking normal. WHY CANT MY LIFE BE NORMAL... I've lost all of the ones I care for the most... who are they going to take from me next... Cassy? I'll be fucking damned if they do. First it was my Dad, then it was my best friend. Now my fucking grandma cant even remember my name, much less if I tell her, 2 minutes later she cant remember me. Why do they do this to me, destroying what love I have left. They're tormenting me... tearing me apart from the inside and its working... its working well. They're pulling the strings, pressing the buttons, breaking me, snaping every love I have before me, stripping me of those who I care for, one by one. I hope it all comes to an end very... very soon.