The Dazzling Dustttt
I have taken the liberty of doctoring a section of The Dreaming Dust, a play by Denis Johnston about Jonathan Swift. I call it, "The Dazzling Dust," and Swift has a blinged out pimp cane one which is written in enormous letters "SWIFF." My changes will be written in bold
"Ungrateful rat... is this how you repay me? 'Women's tears.' Out of my house, the pair of you! Out, out this instant! Filthy, crapulous, cankered, mangy, verminous, off-scourings of the dunghill and the jakes! Pompous, smelly, rodent salesmen! Purple, bloated, shiny, ass-tarts! Triflin', stretch marked, crotch sandwiches! Little, caustic, nerf-herders! Cream filled, chocolate, genitals! Out! Out the the middens that gave you life! Out you POXY MISBIRTHS! Assholes!
There's also a line that goes like this:
"But, Hetty, my dear, surely you aren't seriously considering Tisdall, that... that vulgar little twat."
Normally he's cut off, but I felt Swift would have said "twat." And you don't cut off Swiff. "I got a modest proposal; how 'bout you suck my dick? Aw yeeeeah."
"Ungrateful rat... is this how you repay me? 'Women's tears.' Out of my house, the pair of you! Out, out this instant! Filthy, crapulous, cankered, mangy, verminous, off-scourings of the dunghill and the jakes! Pompous, smelly, rodent salesmen! Purple, bloated, shiny, ass-tarts! Triflin', stretch marked, crotch sandwiches! Little, caustic, nerf-herders! Cream filled, chocolate, genitals! Out! Out the the middens that gave you life! Out you POXY MISBIRTHS! Assholes!
There's also a line that goes like this:
"But, Hetty, my dear, surely you aren't seriously considering Tisdall, that... that vulgar little twat."
Normally he's cut off, but I felt Swift would have said "twat." And you don't cut off Swiff. "I got a modest proposal; how 'bout you suck my dick? Aw yeeeeah."