edit the sad parts
im not entirely sure that i want to grow up. i was sick of being stuck up in small town drama. i think this is affecting me in different ways, some negatively and some positively. i should list the ways..i really should, and count them. 1)become more responsible 2)more time to think about what the heck i'll do with my life ...you know, the negatives out weigh the positives so i wont even list them. today i feel rather down. id like to go somewhere super far away. id like to see the west coast. there was so many things i wanted to do, and im stuck now. europe, japan, russia. just to name a few. not really japan, ive come to dislike asian people over the past couple years. i know im being way too judgemental; but most asians are perverted. gosh, i could go on for hours about asians but i dont have anything nice to say, so ill keep those nasty things to myself. i feel bad for thinking bad things about asians, i guess im being prejudiced but its not like i think theyre gross or anything, i just really dont agree with their ideas or their culture or the way they look. damn, i feel bad, id better just stop talking before i get reported to the asain rights society or something. im judging people way too damn hard, im taking my point of views way too far, which i dont have any right to do, im being rather hipocritical. and i think im finally realizing exactly who i am and how crappy of a person i am. i dont have any morals, any beliefs or anything...except when it comes to other people. i should practice what i preach right? well, lets just say i aint nothin but a hound dog, and youre a floppy eared bunny. i will eat you from the inside out, like a bad disease, im hazardous to your health, and mine. lets steer clear of each other, because im pretty hazardous to myself as well. im like...someone left in a cage to die with nothing to eat or drink, i eat myself from the outside in. you know the best part? id critique myself through every inch of it. i dont let much get to me anymore, i try not to anyway but i feel bad today, today is like one of those long summer days where all of your friends are gone and youre so incredibly bored you dont even want to do anything, much less get up out of bed. but today is the end of the day, at least its not day light, and winter is approaching. i can wait it out, im fairly decent at waiting. remember before i talked to you?