The People v. Michael Jackson
This is Keith, investigative reporter coming to you live from the Michael Jackson trial.
First, there are a couple things I want to get off my chest.
Personally, I don't give a fuck what other people say. I like the court room appearances. I like a man who's comfortable enough in a court room to show up in his pajamas and just 'hang out'. I like the fact that we never see M.J. and La Toya at the same time. I like Thai food and I love to take
bubble baths in Thai peanut sauce.
And by the way, did anybody ever stop and think about whether this kid that he pork sexed enjoyed it? I love how it's always the adult's fault. Like there are no fucking slutty kids.
Anyway, who cares if Michael Jackson cums in little boy's assholes, as long as he keeps making hits!!!
OK, I have to be quiet as court is now in session.
(Michael Jackson gets out of his seat. A hush falls over the courtroom as he moonwalks to the stand.)
Court Officer: Please place your sparkly glove on this Bible.
(The Bible bursts into flames. Jackson is sworn in. The lawyer begins his questions.)
Attorney: Michael, tell us about your relationship with the defendant.
MJ: He's a slut. He started showing up in sexy outfits; tight little pants and t-shirts, with little tubes in his arms. He was so bald, pale, and slender, from the chemotherapy, it was almost more than I could take. He looked like the kid in, "Powder". He seduced me.
Attorney: He seduced you?
MJ: Yes, he started off slow. We were in my treasure room and I was showing him my jewelry. He wanted me to give him some, but I refused. So, he came on to me. He said, "Michael I want a pearl necklace! Will you give me a pearl necklace?"
Attorney: So, the boy wanted jewelry?
MJ: Maybe at first. Fortunately, I was able to restrain myself. I left the room, and quickly jerked off to "Home Alone." But he wasn't done with his plan of seduction.
Attorney: Please, go on.
(Michael Jackson takes out a tissue and dabs his eyes. He wipes his nose which falls off, and lands in his lap. Everyone pretends not to notice as he quickly puts it back on.)
MJ: I took him to my trophy room and showed him the Elephant Man's skeleton. He asked for a piece. I said no. So he turned on the seduction. He said, "I want to bone! I want to bone!"
Attorney: Is it possible he said, "I want a bone?"
MJ: Yeah, right. Then one day my chef was making me lunch. The little scamp asked if he could help. I said no. So, he starts in with the sex talk. He said, "Michael I want to toss your salad. Please, Michael; can I toss your salad?"
Attorney: So the boy wanted to help with the first course?
MJ: What are you deaf? Again I restrained myself. Then one day I was blowing bubbles in my private zoo.
Attorney: I assume you mean Bubbles, your pet chimp?
MJ: No, of course not. Soap bubbles! That's just another stupid, baseless rumor. I've never blown Bubbles. I've given him a couple rim jobs, but that's the extent of our relationship.
Attorney: I'm sorry, please continue.
MJ: Anyway, we were in my private zoo. My accuser had built me a cage, shaped like a donkey, entirely out of candy.
Attorney: A cage, made out of candy, shaped like a donkey?
MJ: Yes, when he built it, he said he thought it would be a good place for me to keep my oversized, prize rooster. It didn't seem practical, but he was insistent. Then out of nowhere. I'm sorry; it's difficult for me to continue.
Attorney: Please it's important.
MJ: He began pleading with me, "Michael, please put your big cock in my sweet ass! I'm begging you to put your big cock in my sweet ass. Well it was more than I could take. I'm the victim here. Honestly can you blame me?
Attorney: I have no further questions.
MJ: Hey, why is everybody in the jury vomiting?
It's funny. On the news they said that Michael Jackson likes to drink, and masturbate to internet porn. Who knew he was such a regular guy?
First, there are a couple things I want to get off my chest.
Personally, I don't give a fuck what other people say. I like the court room appearances. I like a man who's comfortable enough in a court room to show up in his pajamas and just 'hang out'. I like the fact that we never see M.J. and La Toya at the same time. I like Thai food and I love to take
bubble baths in Thai peanut sauce.
And by the way, did anybody ever stop and think about whether this kid that he pork sexed enjoyed it? I love how it's always the adult's fault. Like there are no fucking slutty kids.
Anyway, who cares if Michael Jackson cums in little boy's assholes, as long as he keeps making hits!!!
OK, I have to be quiet as court is now in session.
(Michael Jackson gets out of his seat. A hush falls over the courtroom as he moonwalks to the stand.)
Court Officer: Please place your sparkly glove on this Bible.
(The Bible bursts into flames. Jackson is sworn in. The lawyer begins his questions.)
Attorney: Michael, tell us about your relationship with the defendant.
MJ: He's a slut. He started showing up in sexy outfits; tight little pants and t-shirts, with little tubes in his arms. He was so bald, pale, and slender, from the chemotherapy, it was almost more than I could take. He looked like the kid in, "Powder". He seduced me.
Attorney: He seduced you?
MJ: Yes, he started off slow. We were in my treasure room and I was showing him my jewelry. He wanted me to give him some, but I refused. So, he came on to me. He said, "Michael I want a pearl necklace! Will you give me a pearl necklace?"
Attorney: So, the boy wanted jewelry?
MJ: Maybe at first. Fortunately, I was able to restrain myself. I left the room, and quickly jerked off to "Home Alone." But he wasn't done with his plan of seduction.
Attorney: Please, go on.
(Michael Jackson takes out a tissue and dabs his eyes. He wipes his nose which falls off, and lands in his lap. Everyone pretends not to notice as he quickly puts it back on.)
MJ: I took him to my trophy room and showed him the Elephant Man's skeleton. He asked for a piece. I said no. So he turned on the seduction. He said, "I want to bone! I want to bone!"
Attorney: Is it possible he said, "I want a bone?"
MJ: Yeah, right. Then one day my chef was making me lunch. The little scamp asked if he could help. I said no. So, he starts in with the sex talk. He said, "Michael I want to toss your salad. Please, Michael; can I toss your salad?"
Attorney: So the boy wanted to help with the first course?
MJ: What are you deaf? Again I restrained myself. Then one day I was blowing bubbles in my private zoo.
Attorney: I assume you mean Bubbles, your pet chimp?
MJ: No, of course not. Soap bubbles! That's just another stupid, baseless rumor. I've never blown Bubbles. I've given him a couple rim jobs, but that's the extent of our relationship.
Attorney: I'm sorry, please continue.
MJ: Anyway, we were in my private zoo. My accuser had built me a cage, shaped like a donkey, entirely out of candy.
Attorney: A cage, made out of candy, shaped like a donkey?
MJ: Yes, when he built it, he said he thought it would be a good place for me to keep my oversized, prize rooster. It didn't seem practical, but he was insistent. Then out of nowhere. I'm sorry; it's difficult for me to continue.
Attorney: Please it's important.
MJ: He began pleading with me, "Michael, please put your big cock in my sweet ass! I'm begging you to put your big cock in my sweet ass. Well it was more than I could take. I'm the victim here. Honestly can you blame me?
Attorney: I have no further questions.
MJ: Hey, why is everybody in the jury vomiting?
It's funny. On the news they said that Michael Jackson likes to drink, and masturbate to internet porn. Who knew he was such a regular guy?