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Lately I have realized the simplicity of which I live my life.
When I'm not at work, I am at home.
When I'm not at home, I'm at work.
I want to have someone to tell funny anecdotes about work.
I miss the feeling of security that someone can bring.
I hate being alone all the time.
I hate how quiet it is here in the middle of the afternoon.
I miss the theatre.
I miss singing.
I miss the life that I used to have when these things were at my fingertips.
I've had a lot of time to think about what I want from someone.
I want someone who is ambitious about their future. This does not necessarily have to include college, or a degree, I just want someone who will work for their keep.
I want someone who has A talent. It doesn't have to be musical, it doesn't have to be vocal, it can be anything. I want a painter, a sculptor, a football player, a writer, a singer..a dancer?
Talent knows how to fully appreciate other talent. I want someone who loves to hear me sing to them, and will let me sing the songs on the radio in the car, or in the mall or in the restaurant.
I want someone who knows how to have fun. I can't stand the "lets stay in tonight". Everyone spends their own share on nights in, but I can't do that everynight. I want to go to the movies, or to a play, or to an arcade or just go play outside and make a snowman.
I want someone who knows that tickets to a musical ANY musical is the perfect gift for me.
I don't think it's too much to ask...but I've had trouble so far. Maybe I need to narrow my search.
Chris has been all I can think about for weeks now. to this day, Chris's death is the most painful experience that I have ever had to deal with, and am still dealing with. Before, I had days where I might not think of Chris, some days it was a quick memory, and these days it's all the time. I attended a funeral viewing at Harris, the same place where Chris had his. I thought that 4 years later that I had realized how to cope with the emotions that I have regarding Chris's death. I can talk about him with coworkers, and friends, my parents, and laugh about our fights, and experiences. I can talk about the details surrounding his death, but I could not go back to that funeral home. I found out the hard way. I have only visited Chris' gravesite one time with Mrs Kempa and that was years ago. And since then, I have tried, but I can't. I have dreams about the silence in St. Michael's after I sang, and how I held back my tears so hard, and in the end, I just couldn't do it anymore. At 20 years old, looking at how my life at this time is rounding out, and even the types of people who I've dated since Chris died...I can't help but still think that I was right when I told my mother that Chris WAS my soulmate...and I might never find another quite like him.
When I'm not at work, I am at home.
When I'm not at home, I'm at work.
I want to have someone to tell funny anecdotes about work.
I miss the feeling of security that someone can bring.
I hate being alone all the time.
I hate how quiet it is here in the middle of the afternoon.
I miss the theatre.
I miss singing.
I miss the life that I used to have when these things were at my fingertips.
I've had a lot of time to think about what I want from someone.
I want someone who is ambitious about their future. This does not necessarily have to include college, or a degree, I just want someone who will work for their keep.
I want someone who has A talent. It doesn't have to be musical, it doesn't have to be vocal, it can be anything. I want a painter, a sculptor, a football player, a writer, a singer..a dancer?
Talent knows how to fully appreciate other talent. I want someone who loves to hear me sing to them, and will let me sing the songs on the radio in the car, or in the mall or in the restaurant.
I want someone who knows how to have fun. I can't stand the "lets stay in tonight". Everyone spends their own share on nights in, but I can't do that everynight. I want to go to the movies, or to a play, or to an arcade or just go play outside and make a snowman.
I want someone who knows that tickets to a musical ANY musical is the perfect gift for me.
I don't think it's too much to ask...but I've had trouble so far. Maybe I need to narrow my search.
Chris has been all I can think about for weeks now. to this day, Chris's death is the most painful experience that I have ever had to deal with, and am still dealing with. Before, I had days where I might not think of Chris, some days it was a quick memory, and these days it's all the time. I attended a funeral viewing at Harris, the same place where Chris had his. I thought that 4 years later that I had realized how to cope with the emotions that I have regarding Chris's death. I can talk about him with coworkers, and friends, my parents, and laugh about our fights, and experiences. I can talk about the details surrounding his death, but I could not go back to that funeral home. I found out the hard way. I have only visited Chris' gravesite one time with Mrs Kempa and that was years ago. And since then, I have tried, but I can't. I have dreams about the silence in St. Michael's after I sang, and how I held back my tears so hard, and in the end, I just couldn't do it anymore. At 20 years old, looking at how my life at this time is rounding out, and even the types of people who I've dated since Chris died...I can't help but still think that I was right when I told my mother that Chris WAS my soulmate...and I might never find another quite like him.