G.I. Joe: The rise of Coooooooooobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!
I Fucking LOVED G.I.Joe.
I dont think I have smiled so much watching a film since Doomsday. Absolutely silly in every way possible and I wouldn't want it any other way. I Get that people are going to hate it and I get that a lot ofthe older fans feel a tiny bit betrayed but they can stick to their comics and resolute and whatnot. Hasbro are a toy company and they want to sell toys and lets face it in 2009 those old designs just aren't going to work now. (that said the hisstank forums seem pretty positive almost everything)
Lets just look at this as a cartoon... snake eyes is a silent ninja.... a ninja that uses a gun. It would have been nice if he had timberwolf following him about...or some reference to him but y'know... there was a lot going on.
The movie is nonstop and completely predictable, Dennis quaid is so bad ...so, so bad and I dont want it any other way, scarlett had her crossbow and headshotted a dude, zartan pretended to be another dude, stormshadow hated snake eyes and duke was in a coma. It was, it IS G.I.JOE and no amount of fanboy optimus flameage can take that away from it. The bad CGI almost toylike in the way it whizzed about the screen.
The action sequences were awesome, really fun and followable and I know a lot of people absolutely hate shakycam and joe really doesn't go for that at all other than in one flashback sequence.
and finally I'm going to pick out the things I absolutely loved. Sienna miller as the Baroness... I dont care if she doesn't have a comedy russian accent and I dont care if she's now somehow tied to duke but she really does shine as the evil villain doing villainy things. Christopher eccleston as destro....I LOVED that his scottish accent was abysmal and that he even got his own backstory bit about the mask..... THIS MOVIE OPENS WITH A SEQUENCE IN THE 1700's!... and Joseph gordon levitt as Cobra Commander.... just absolutely pantomime in his delivery. I loved how he had to pretty much express the things he was saying through movement with his hands and when he takes of his breathing mask he goes into a full on CC-mode... the way he hides behind the scenery and scutters about like a madman. I was most worried about him and his voice which is much more similar to the voice they went for in the recent resolute.
I'm not ashamed by this... I loved it, It's not a patch on the old movie with serpentor and the absolute lie that is cobra commander being a snake-man and I'd have love to have seen Roadblock over heavy duty but yknow where else are you going to see paris getting wasted and a ninja with a gun.... shooting the dudes from army of two in the face!