there is so much that never gets said

[cups_of_tea]

i've been thinking a lot about those months (years) when all i wanted was to feel like i was sleeping

i can't seem to enjoy anything because i'm always thinking about what i have to do next
it's not making sense, I'M NOT GETTING IT
too many things have shifted in one year

it's not so much a bad thing, as it's becoming a sad thing

and i'm fucking tired of being sad

prozac used to help me out with this
it used to shut my brain off so i could do anything
but i'm not looking to shut it off today
i only want to turn the volume down, so i can think ONE CLEAR THOUGHT
without feeling dizzy
without wanting to bash my head into a wall

i need my friends

we need to make time work again

i'm sure this means nothing to any of you
so what

i'm going to try