ashes to ashes, we all fall down
so how are things??
ummmmm, ok i guess.
last week wasnt the greatest, but what are ya gonna do??
- ryan left, i won't see him for abour 6 months, and then he's moving away for good - he promised to write some letters though.
- sometimes people keep me as a secret, yup, thats cool...
- apparently i'm not the greatest person to room with.
- i have a very intense, and most times unpredictable, insomnia problem.
` i thought i knew, but i realize i have no idea what i want to do with my life anymore, even though i try really hard to picture myself with a job. i can't do it really. it's so hard becuase the things i actually feel any sort of passion towards seem to prove themselves unstable, i'm not good enough to pursue them, or i'll be living as a bum and sleeping on a park bench for the rest of my life - which i don;t really have any objection to, but my dad does. I really don;t mind if i have money or not, if i'm poor or rich - does it really make a difference?? well, yes, because obviously we live in an overwhelmingly emperical world and yes, money does help - i'll be comfortbale and i wont have to worry about bills or credit or anything. but money really doesn't buy happiness and i've had to realize this in some of the most crude and unbelievable ways, and so i now know that all i want in life is to be happy, to be in love, and not have to see the world as a cold, cruel, miserbale place. i want to see it for what it is, for the beauty it holds and the miracles it produces. i want to be free. i want to be myself. and i need to end this entry because i'm rambling.
wow, what a way to start and conclude one of my usually short and definitely infrequent entries.
peace. (well, hopefully...)
ummmmm, ok i guess.
last week wasnt the greatest, but what are ya gonna do??
- ryan left, i won't see him for abour 6 months, and then he's moving away for good - he promised to write some letters though.
- sometimes people keep me as a secret, yup, thats cool...
- apparently i'm not the greatest person to room with.
- i have a very intense, and most times unpredictable, insomnia problem.
` i thought i knew, but i realize i have no idea what i want to do with my life anymore, even though i try really hard to picture myself with a job. i can't do it really. it's so hard becuase the things i actually feel any sort of passion towards seem to prove themselves unstable, i'm not good enough to pursue them, or i'll be living as a bum and sleeping on a park bench for the rest of my life - which i don;t really have any objection to, but my dad does. I really don;t mind if i have money or not, if i'm poor or rich - does it really make a difference?? well, yes, because obviously we live in an overwhelmingly emperical world and yes, money does help - i'll be comfortbale and i wont have to worry about bills or credit or anything. but money really doesn't buy happiness and i've had to realize this in some of the most crude and unbelievable ways, and so i now know that all i want in life is to be happy, to be in love, and not have to see the world as a cold, cruel, miserbale place. i want to see it for what it is, for the beauty it holds and the miracles it produces. i want to be free. i want to be myself. and i need to end this entry because i'm rambling.
wow, what a way to start and conclude one of my usually short and definitely infrequent entries.
peace. (well, hopefully...)