The Dee-annotated Supernatural - Devil Trap
Welcome to the end. It's been fun.
Devil Trap
Song vid: *happens*
Me: Why have a credits sequence when you can do a new one every week?
The Male: Don't oppress their creativity.
Dean: We're leaving. Now.
Me: This is my big brother voice.
The Male: With an edge of panic.
Me: It adds piquancy. omg I love Ackles.
Impala: *takes the corner on two wheels*
Me: So Dean's driving. Sam never drove like that in his life.
Sam: *sulking* I'm telling you, Dean, we coulda taken 'em.
Me: Thank you, Jono!
Sam: Come on, Dean. You really think these demons are going to leave a trail?
Dean: You're right.
Sam's look: I'm what?
Us: *mirth!*
House: *is somewhat dilapidated*
Me: So this guy's a bad-ass hunter.
The Male: The soundtrack says yes.
Dean: What is this, holy water?
Bad-ass: That one is. This is whiskey. *swigs*
Me: Don't get the two mixed up.
The Male: Or if you do, just set 'em on fire.
Me: In fact, do that anyway.
Sam: Bobby, this book... I've never seen anything like it.
Bobby: Key of Solomon?
The Male: No, the Kama Sutra. How did she get her leg up there?
Me: Hang on, the Key of Solomon?
Bobby: It's the real deal, alright.
Me: And you can find it on the internet. For fuck's sake.
No, really. It was a significant source for me when I was doing Choir.
Bobby: High incidence of demonic possession blah blah. You get what I'm saying? More and more demons are walking among us.
Sam: Do you know why?
Bobby: No. But I know it's something big. Storm's coming.
Me: *cocks head* I think I just heard Lisa's copy of Frailty hit the TV.
The Male: But hey. Storm's coming.
Me: Oh, that explains Meg then. She's here so Storm can have her girlfight.
Meg: No more crap, OK?
The Male: Then I'm afraid you have to stop talking, immediately.
Meg: *voodoo bitchslaps Dean*
Me: Actions speak so much louder than words, anyway.
Meg: I mean, did you really think I wouldn't find you?
Me: Batman will save me? I'm COUNTING ON IT.
Dean: Actually, we were counting on it.
Me: Whoo! I win at--
Dean: Gotcha.
Me: *gurgles*
The Male: What was that?
Me: *falls off couch*
Dean: Where's our father, Meg?
Meg: You didn't ask very nice.
Dean: Where's our father, bitch?
Us: *MIRTH!*
Me: Where's the Hilton at, fuckwit?
Sam: *babbles Latin*
Meg: *winces hardcore*
The Male: Oh god, your pronunciation, just... anything but that!
This whole scene, I'm thinking of that little soundbite from Nicki Aycox, about how Jensen was always so gentle with her and stuff. It really provided an interesting counterpoint. *G*
Meg: You just won't take dead for an answer, will you?
Dean: Where is he?
Meg: Dead.
Dean: No he's not. He is not dead, he can't be!
Me: Dean's gone to Egypt. Send a postcard.
The Male: He can't be, because I sneaked a peek ahead in the script and he shows up so THERE, missy.
Meg: *blabs*
The Male: Excellent. Now, exorcise her.
Dean: Finish it.
Meg: I told you the truth!
Dean: I don't care.
Meg: You son of a bitch, you promised.
Dean: I LIED!
Me: *dies of love*
Bobby: *enters stage left to complicate the issue with blah blah about the body being broken and the girl going to die*
Me: Bzuh?
The Male: How does this matter? What are the options, let her live with a raging bitchtastic all-powerful demon inside her?
Me: We could put her on Big Brother.
The Male: Now you're talking!
Honestly. Sometimes I think Dean is the only one with any common sense on this show, and that? is just SCARY.
Meg: *spews black at the ceiling*
The Male: Now, do it again. Haven't you seen horror movies? She's totally not cured yet.
The boys: *untie Megsy, lie her down*
The Male: I hope for your sake she's still inside the circle.
Dean: *gives Megsy a drink of water*
Me: Er, am I misremembering my first aid, or is that a bad idea?
The Male: Moving her in the first place probably wasn't brilliant.
Bobby: You think you guys invented lying to the cops?
Me: No, just perfected it.
Bobby: Here, take this. You might need it.
The Male: The Kama Sutra! Awesome! Dean, you gotta see page fifteen.
Me: Dean IS page fifteen.
Sam: You been quiet.
Me: Sshh, Sam. I'm busy cocking every gun I own.
Sam: We want to kill this demon. You used to want that too! I mean, hell, you're the one who came and got me at school. You're the one who tried to drag me back into this, Dean.
Me: You just DON'T LISTEN, do you Sam?
Dean: You're selfish, you know that?
Me: OMG THANK YOU!
The boys: Blah blah about the apartment building and the demons could be anybody.
Me: OMG, it's the Matrix all over again.
The Male: I am not going to be Trinity this time.
Me: Sam, I'm the big brother, I get to be Neo.
Sam: So... how the hell are we going to get in?
Us: Dress up as girls.
Me: ...ok, that was kinda weird.
Sam: *walks into the building*
OK, I was going to make this big point about how we believe in apartment building security in Australia, and you couldn't just walk into a building like that, you'd have to wait and sneak in when someone else opened the door, and if the building was like our building, whoever opened the door would glare at you and probably ask what your business was or maybe set their cat on you.
Except that then I realised that our doors (antique heritage 1920s things) are broken and anyone can walk into our building at the moment. Oops.
Dean: I always wanted to be a fireman when I grew up.
Me: One of our authors was telling me the other day that about 80% of firemen are gay.
The Male: Really? Must be all that black rubber.
Me: That's what I said, too.
The boys: *bust in and hose 'em down with holy water*
Me: This plan wins at awesome.
The Male: Woulda been better if it was margaritas.
Me: For a certain value of better, yes.
The boys: *come in and find Papa*
Dean: Dad.
Me: I'm going with... no.
Innocent bystander: *goes funky-eyed*
Me: He's been Agent Smithed.
Fireman: *goes to stop him*
Me: Him too.
The Male: How'd they get out of closet?
Me: Maybe they didn't.
The Male: Then how many of these things are we dealing with, anyway?
Me: Their name is Legion, yo.
The Male: *goes to deal with the shirt wash* Give me a play by play, yeah?
Me: OK. They're beating a strategic salt-riddled retreat, climbing down the fire escape, which Dad has miraculously rallied himself to be able to do. Wait, relapse, Dean's carrying him. Sam's in the lead and WHOA, totally decked. Never saw him coming.
The Male: Over the sideline?
Me: Like he's England's number 14 and the other guy's Lote Tuqiri. Oh, and it's More the demon lad, so there's at least three of them about. Dean's wading in - BAM, boot to the face. Oops. Dean gets pwned. Now, where was he?
More: *recommences belting seven kinds of shit out of Sam*
The Male: *coming back in* About there, yep.
Lightning bolt bullet: *goes straight through More's head*
The Male: Nice work, Dean.
Me: OMG! He didn't say "Hey" first this time! Maybe he's finally learning!
I am a little with not understanding why More was punching Sam and not, say, reaching straight into his chest and ripping his heart out. But I think the real moral of that story is: it's a good thing I'm not a demon.
Dean: C'mon. C'mon, we gotta get out of here.
Me: Because I just shot a guy in the head in broad daylight, and this is SO not South Central.
OK, and so then, Dean with the "ohjesus ME, I kinda freak me out" scene and just.... AKSFLKAJDFHLKJ! It is not actually possible for me to love Dean more. I'd need a fifth dimension or something. SO. MUCH. LOVE. Also for Ackles. Because ohman. He does good work.
Also, I'm cementing in place my "Dean has not killed someone" theory from "The Benders". Because this is Dean, here and now, learning the limits and lack thereof of his actions, what he can actually do and why and how he can do it, and it's powerful stuff. No matter how much else I bitch about with this show, it has strength.
John: You look out for this family. You always have.
Me: Yep. He's Mommy.
...who was it expounding that theory to me? Cos you're totally right. *G*
John: The gun. Give it to me.
Dean: *hesitates*
The Male: No. My shiny thing.
Dean: You're not my dad.
OMG HIS FACE. Really, I should have a macro for that phrase, because it's AMAZING how many times I need to use it when Ackles has his groove on. But this was a really good one. There's the kid and the man in that, all bundled up in freak-out determination and then smoothing out into single-minded ire. It's AWESOME.
And then SAM BACKS DEAN UP and wheeeee! Yay for Sam when it actually matters. Though, y'know, Dean versus Dad? Like that's even a choice for Sammy. Even without the possession question, this is DEAN. There is so totally a part of Sam whose first response to just about everything is to cling to Dean and never let go and just feel safe. He's probably even conscious of it. It's almost certainly part of why he ran away.
Onwards.
Evil!John: *voodoo bitchslaps them; picks up the gun*
Me: Now, shoot them. Or shoot the window. Or just take the fucking bullets out so that when one of them gets free they can't shoot you, as they inevitably will.
No. Seriously. The world is lucky I am not a force of darkness.
Sam: *struggles*
Me: Use the power of your MIND, Obi-Wan.
Evil!John: Here. Make the gun float to you, psychic boy.
Me: NOW you wish Dean had been making you practice.
I like JD Morgan a lot better when he's being evil. He still has WRETCHED lines, of course. But that's hardly unexpected.
Evil!John: He's going to taste the iron in your blood.
Me: That's a good line, though.
Sam: I wanna know why. Why'd you do it?
The Male: Oh thank fuck, I didn't think we were ever going to get around to the info-dump.
Evil!John: Because they got in the way of my plans for you, Sammy. You, and all the children like you.
Me: OMG! Army of emo kids! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES.
Evil!John: They don't need you. Not like you need them.
Me: (Altogether now?) OMG HIS FACE!
Dean: I bet you're real proud of your kids too, huh? Oh wait, I forgot... I wasted 'em.
Us: *CACKLE*
The Male: He is so good at his MO.
Me: That being?
The Male: Piss the Big Bad off while Sammy does something clever.
Me: I think there may be a fatal flaw in this plan...
Somewhat ambivalent about the "Don't you let it kill me", though. It's a bit... it's just not Dean, to me. It's sorta like an indirect guilt trip. It's too convoluted for him, or something. Anyway.
Unfortunately, once you get Dean out of the major emoting in the scene, I think the quality of the interaction really goes downhill. And while it's very, very, very strong, and I feel that strength, my eyes have this urge to roll, especially while Daddy's ordering Sam to shoot him. It's just... I dunno. I just don't feel it. My problem, probably. Or it's too extended, maybe.
John: I thought we saw eye to eye on killing this demon comes before everything.
Sam: *looks at Dean in the rearview* No sir. Not before everything.
Me: N'aww.
Mack truck: *happens*
US: WHOA!
Me: OMG THE IMPALA!
The Male: But hey. Found the demon!
Me: Tag. You're it.
Me: So. That's that. Stupid place to end a series, really.
The Male: Hang on... that's the end of the series?
Me: Yep.
The Male: ...no it's not.
Me: Sorry. It really is.
The Male: Well that's just fucking stupid. I mean, they're dead. Or about to be in about two-point-three seconds.
Me: Don't look at me. I don't write it.
The Male: Well, that's patently obvious.
So. No, they didn't answer any of our questions. ANY of them, really. We don't actually know why the Big Bad's doing what it's doing. We don't know what it is. We don't know WHY it pins women to the ceiling, disembowels them and then sets fire to them as opposed to, say, setting fire to them while they're still on the floor and not bleeding. We don't know why Sammy's a wunderkind or what Dean's talisman does or how the Impala's radio survived when the rest of the car was toast.
Moreover, just about any beginning to the first episode of the next season is going to be STUPID. Honestly. I cannot come up with a single option that is not completely weighed down by its own stupid. And I have been actively trying. I just don't get what the fuck the writers are doing, what they can be trying to achieve, and where they're going with this, and not in that exciting KJ Parker "ooh, turn the page, where's he taking this?" way, but in that Mark Millar "you're just making this up as you go along and doing it because you can, aren't you?" way.
I both enjoyed this and am overwhelmingly annoyed by it. To the point where I'm not actually sure I want to continue watching this program. If not for the Ackles, there would be no question about it. But man. ACKLES.
I guess I have until whenever an Australian channel picks up the second series to think about it.
Devil Trap
Song vid: *happens*
Me: Why have a credits sequence when you can do a new one every week?
The Male: Don't oppress their creativity.
Dean: We're leaving. Now.
Me: This is my big brother voice.
The Male: With an edge of panic.
Me: It adds piquancy. omg I love Ackles.
Impala: *takes the corner on two wheels*
Me: So Dean's driving. Sam never drove like that in his life.
Sam: *sulking* I'm telling you, Dean, we coulda taken 'em.
Me: Thank you, Jono!
Sam: Come on, Dean. You really think these demons are going to leave a trail?
Dean: You're right.
Sam's look: I'm what?
Us: *mirth!*
House: *is somewhat dilapidated*
Me: So this guy's a bad-ass hunter.
The Male: The soundtrack says yes.
Dean: What is this, holy water?
Bad-ass: That one is. This is whiskey. *swigs*
Me: Don't get the two mixed up.
The Male: Or if you do, just set 'em on fire.
Me: In fact, do that anyway.
Sam: Bobby, this book... I've never seen anything like it.
Bobby: Key of Solomon?
The Male: No, the Kama Sutra. How did she get her leg up there?
Me: Hang on, the Key of Solomon?
Bobby: It's the real deal, alright.
Me: And you can find it on the internet. For fuck's sake.
No, really. It was a significant source for me when I was doing Choir.
Bobby: High incidence of demonic possession blah blah. You get what I'm saying? More and more demons are walking among us.
Sam: Do you know why?
Bobby: No. But I know it's something big. Storm's coming.
Me: *cocks head* I think I just heard Lisa's copy of Frailty hit the TV.
The Male: But hey. Storm's coming.
Me: Oh, that explains Meg then. She's here so Storm can have her girlfight.
Meg: No more crap, OK?
The Male: Then I'm afraid you have to stop talking, immediately.
Meg: *voodoo bitchslaps Dean*
Me: Actions speak so much louder than words, anyway.
Meg: I mean, did you really think I wouldn't find you?
Me: Batman will save me? I'm COUNTING ON IT.
Dean: Actually, we were counting on it.
Me: Whoo! I win at--
Dean: Gotcha.
Me: *gurgles*
The Male: What was that?
Me: *falls off couch*
Dean: Where's our father, Meg?
Meg: You didn't ask very nice.
Dean: Where's our father, bitch?
Us: *MIRTH!*
Me: Where's the Hilton at, fuckwit?
Sam: *babbles Latin*
Meg: *winces hardcore*
The Male: Oh god, your pronunciation, just... anything but that!
This whole scene, I'm thinking of that little soundbite from Nicki Aycox, about how Jensen was always so gentle with her and stuff. It really provided an interesting counterpoint. *G*
Meg: You just won't take dead for an answer, will you?
Dean: Where is he?
Meg: Dead.
Dean: No he's not. He is not dead, he can't be!
Me: Dean's gone to Egypt. Send a postcard.
The Male: He can't be, because I sneaked a peek ahead in the script and he shows up so THERE, missy.
Meg: *blabs*
The Male: Excellent. Now, exorcise her.
Dean: Finish it.
Meg: I told you the truth!
Dean: I don't care.
Meg: You son of a bitch, you promised.
Dean: I LIED!
Me: *dies of love*
Bobby: *enters stage left to complicate the issue with blah blah about the body being broken and the girl going to die*
Me: Bzuh?
The Male: How does this matter? What are the options, let her live with a raging bitchtastic all-powerful demon inside her?
Me: We could put her on Big Brother.
The Male: Now you're talking!
Honestly. Sometimes I think Dean is the only one with any common sense on this show, and that? is just SCARY.
Meg: *spews black at the ceiling*
The Male: Now, do it again. Haven't you seen horror movies? She's totally not cured yet.
The boys: *untie Megsy, lie her down*
The Male: I hope for your sake she's still inside the circle.
Dean: *gives Megsy a drink of water*
Me: Er, am I misremembering my first aid, or is that a bad idea?
The Male: Moving her in the first place probably wasn't brilliant.
Bobby: You think you guys invented lying to the cops?
Me: No, just perfected it.
Bobby: Here, take this. You might need it.
The Male: The Kama Sutra! Awesome! Dean, you gotta see page fifteen.
Me: Dean IS page fifteen.
Sam: You been quiet.
Me: Sshh, Sam. I'm busy cocking every gun I own.
Sam: We want to kill this demon. You used to want that too! I mean, hell, you're the one who came and got me at school. You're the one who tried to drag me back into this, Dean.
Me: You just DON'T LISTEN, do you Sam?
Dean: You're selfish, you know that?
Me: OMG THANK YOU!
The boys: Blah blah about the apartment building and the demons could be anybody.
Me: OMG, it's the Matrix all over again.
The Male: I am not going to be Trinity this time.
Me: Sam, I'm the big brother, I get to be Neo.
Sam: So... how the hell are we going to get in?
Us: Dress up as girls.
Me: ...ok, that was kinda weird.
Sam: *walks into the building*
OK, I was going to make this big point about how we believe in apartment building security in Australia, and you couldn't just walk into a building like that, you'd have to wait and sneak in when someone else opened the door, and if the building was like our building, whoever opened the door would glare at you and probably ask what your business was or maybe set their cat on you.
Except that then I realised that our doors (antique heritage 1920s things) are broken and anyone can walk into our building at the moment. Oops.
Dean: I always wanted to be a fireman when I grew up.
Me: One of our authors was telling me the other day that about 80% of firemen are gay.
The Male: Really? Must be all that black rubber.
Me: That's what I said, too.
The boys: *bust in and hose 'em down with holy water*
Me: This plan wins at awesome.
The Male: Woulda been better if it was margaritas.
Me: For a certain value of better, yes.
The boys: *come in and find Papa*
Dean: Dad.
Me: I'm going with... no.
Innocent bystander: *goes funky-eyed*
Me: He's been Agent Smithed.
Fireman: *goes to stop him*
Me: Him too.
The Male: How'd they get out of closet?
Me: Maybe they didn't.
The Male: Then how many of these things are we dealing with, anyway?
Me: Their name is Legion, yo.
The Male: *goes to deal with the shirt wash* Give me a play by play, yeah?
Me: OK. They're beating a strategic salt-riddled retreat, climbing down the fire escape, which Dad has miraculously rallied himself to be able to do. Wait, relapse, Dean's carrying him. Sam's in the lead and WHOA, totally decked. Never saw him coming.
The Male: Over the sideline?
Me: Like he's England's number 14 and the other guy's Lote Tuqiri. Oh, and it's More the demon lad, so there's at least three of them about. Dean's wading in - BAM, boot to the face. Oops. Dean gets pwned. Now, where was he?
More: *recommences belting seven kinds of shit out of Sam*
The Male: *coming back in* About there, yep.
Lightning bolt bullet: *goes straight through More's head*
The Male: Nice work, Dean.
Me: OMG! He didn't say "Hey" first this time! Maybe he's finally learning!
I am a little with not understanding why More was punching Sam and not, say, reaching straight into his chest and ripping his heart out. But I think the real moral of that story is: it's a good thing I'm not a demon.
Dean: C'mon. C'mon, we gotta get out of here.
Me: Because I just shot a guy in the head in broad daylight, and this is SO not South Central.
OK, and so then, Dean with the "ohjesus ME, I kinda freak me out" scene and just.... AKSFLKAJDFHLKJ! It is not actually possible for me to love Dean more. I'd need a fifth dimension or something. SO. MUCH. LOVE. Also for Ackles. Because ohman. He does good work.
Also, I'm cementing in place my "Dean has not killed someone" theory from "The Benders". Because this is Dean, here and now, learning the limits and lack thereof of his actions, what he can actually do and why and how he can do it, and it's powerful stuff. No matter how much else I bitch about with this show, it has strength.
John: You look out for this family. You always have.
Me: Yep. He's Mommy.
...who was it expounding that theory to me? Cos you're totally right. *G*
John: The gun. Give it to me.
Dean: *hesitates*
The Male: No. My shiny thing.
Dean: You're not my dad.
OMG HIS FACE. Really, I should have a macro for that phrase, because it's AMAZING how many times I need to use it when Ackles has his groove on. But this was a really good one. There's the kid and the man in that, all bundled up in freak-out determination and then smoothing out into single-minded ire. It's AWESOME.
And then SAM BACKS DEAN UP and wheeeee! Yay for Sam when it actually matters. Though, y'know, Dean versus Dad? Like that's even a choice for Sammy. Even without the possession question, this is DEAN. There is so totally a part of Sam whose first response to just about everything is to cling to Dean and never let go and just feel safe. He's probably even conscious of it. It's almost certainly part of why he ran away.
Onwards.
Evil!John: *voodoo bitchslaps them; picks up the gun*
Me: Now, shoot them. Or shoot the window. Or just take the fucking bullets out so that when one of them gets free they can't shoot you, as they inevitably will.
No. Seriously. The world is lucky I am not a force of darkness.
Sam: *struggles*
Me: Use the power of your MIND, Obi-Wan.
Evil!John: Here. Make the gun float to you, psychic boy.
Me: NOW you wish Dean had been making you practice.
I like JD Morgan a lot better when he's being evil. He still has WRETCHED lines, of course. But that's hardly unexpected.
Evil!John: He's going to taste the iron in your blood.
Me: That's a good line, though.
Sam: I wanna know why. Why'd you do it?
The Male: Oh thank fuck, I didn't think we were ever going to get around to the info-dump.
Evil!John: Because they got in the way of my plans for you, Sammy. You, and all the children like you.
Me: OMG! Army of emo kids! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES.
Evil!John: They don't need you. Not like you need them.
Me: (Altogether now?) OMG HIS FACE!
Dean: I bet you're real proud of your kids too, huh? Oh wait, I forgot... I wasted 'em.
Us: *CACKLE*
The Male: He is so good at his MO.
Me: That being?
The Male: Piss the Big Bad off while Sammy does something clever.
Me: I think there may be a fatal flaw in this plan...
Somewhat ambivalent about the "Don't you let it kill me", though. It's a bit... it's just not Dean, to me. It's sorta like an indirect guilt trip. It's too convoluted for him, or something. Anyway.
Unfortunately, once you get Dean out of the major emoting in the scene, I think the quality of the interaction really goes downhill. And while it's very, very, very strong, and I feel that strength, my eyes have this urge to roll, especially while Daddy's ordering Sam to shoot him. It's just... I dunno. I just don't feel it. My problem, probably. Or it's too extended, maybe.
John: I thought we saw eye to eye on killing this demon comes before everything.
Sam: *looks at Dean in the rearview* No sir. Not before everything.
Me: N'aww.
Mack truck: *happens*
US: WHOA!
Me: OMG THE IMPALA!
The Male: But hey. Found the demon!
Me: Tag. You're it.
Me: So. That's that. Stupid place to end a series, really.
The Male: Hang on... that's the end of the series?
Me: Yep.
The Male: ...no it's not.
Me: Sorry. It really is.
The Male: Well that's just fucking stupid. I mean, they're dead. Or about to be in about two-point-three seconds.
Me: Don't look at me. I don't write it.
The Male: Well, that's patently obvious.
So. No, they didn't answer any of our questions. ANY of them, really. We don't actually know why the Big Bad's doing what it's doing. We don't know what it is. We don't know WHY it pins women to the ceiling, disembowels them and then sets fire to them as opposed to, say, setting fire to them while they're still on the floor and not bleeding. We don't know why Sammy's a wunderkind or what Dean's talisman does or how the Impala's radio survived when the rest of the car was toast.
Moreover, just about any beginning to the first episode of the next season is going to be STUPID. Honestly. I cannot come up with a single option that is not completely weighed down by its own stupid. And I have been actively trying. I just don't get what the fuck the writers are doing, what they can be trying to achieve, and where they're going with this, and not in that exciting KJ Parker "ooh, turn the page, where's he taking this?" way, but in that Mark Millar "you're just making this up as you go along and doing it because you can, aren't you?" way.
I both enjoyed this and am overwhelmingly annoyed by it. To the point where I'm not actually sure I want to continue watching this program. If not for the Ackles, there would be no question about it. But man. ACKLES.
I guess I have until whenever an Australian channel picks up the second series to think about it.