Half-Baked Scheme
Well, got into reading David's blog, and it reminded me about my own, so here I am again.
With blogs I'm like a no-good-low-down-dirty drunk, I leave and go do my thing, but then I come crawling back with the shit hits the fan.
What is this entries shit?
I want a job with a consistent schedule, no more random ass hours every week, never knowing if I'll have 3 or 30 hours, never knowing what days I'll have off to get my homework done or do the things I want to do, the things I MAKE MONEY to do.
I know its selfish and self centered. I dont pay rent here, I dont pay for my own food usually, and I spend my money almost soley for entertainment purposes. Hell, the only part of college i pay for is classes I FAIL.
I've got it good...then I gotta wonder why I am so unhappy sometimes.
I've got a theory. I think I'm putting my happiness in the hands of others. This has the potential to be awesome, like when I'm in the field with my brothers in arms, clearing out plywood towers of insurgents and crashing through the bush trying to backstab the warlord of a rival faction; Then you have every other day, when I feel like I need to be alone, and nobody is there to spoon feed me rainbows and sunshine.
Sometimes I pause and try to capture all the stuff that is swirling around in my head at the speed of light, and frankly its terrifying, sometimes I catch something that makes me thing "Wow, Abe, you should really be locked up" and then other things that make me think "Why is this here? I know I'm not THAT stupid"
Along with all that, just to jump off topic and maybe dodge the emo-shit about to spill from my brain, the world seems to be getting ready for something big. I know I dont fit in the intellectual, world changing group, so that leaves me stuck in the gun-toting, beer-swilling group, and now I just have to rock back and forth on my porch with a shotgun till this all blows over....or blows up...
With blogs I'm like a no-good-low-down-dirty drunk, I leave and go do my thing, but then I come crawling back with the shit hits the fan.
What is this entries shit?
I want a job with a consistent schedule, no more random ass hours every week, never knowing if I'll have 3 or 30 hours, never knowing what days I'll have off to get my homework done or do the things I want to do, the things I MAKE MONEY to do.
I know its selfish and self centered. I dont pay rent here, I dont pay for my own food usually, and I spend my money almost soley for entertainment purposes. Hell, the only part of college i pay for is classes I FAIL.
I've got it good...then I gotta wonder why I am so unhappy sometimes.
I've got a theory. I think I'm putting my happiness in the hands of others. This has the potential to be awesome, like when I'm in the field with my brothers in arms, clearing out plywood towers of insurgents and crashing through the bush trying to backstab the warlord of a rival faction; Then you have every other day, when I feel like I need to be alone, and nobody is there to spoon feed me rainbows and sunshine.
Sometimes I pause and try to capture all the stuff that is swirling around in my head at the speed of light, and frankly its terrifying, sometimes I catch something that makes me thing "Wow, Abe, you should really be locked up" and then other things that make me think "Why is this here? I know I'm not THAT stupid"
Along with all that, just to jump off topic and maybe dodge the emo-shit about to spill from my brain, the world seems to be getting ready for something big. I know I dont fit in the intellectual, world changing group, so that leaves me stuck in the gun-toting, beer-swilling group, and now I just have to rock back and forth on my porch with a shotgun till this all blows over....or blows up...