Best Survey Ever!
1. Would you rather kill a puppy with your bare hands or make out with your father?:
Well, I'll take the former. As for the latter, I'm not really down with making out with an ashtray.
2. What would be worse for the world: One giant (approx. 30 feet tall), cybernetic Hitler, or if all food screamed when you ate it?: well...technically I'd get used to the food screaming thing...so I'll say no to the large mustached man.
3. Zombies become a very harsh reality. Sensing the ethical code society has instilled in you slipping away, you decide to start killing everything that moves with what weapon?:
A mini-gun. Yes.
4. When charging into battle, your war cry is?: Iyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi!!!! (Xena warcry, duh.)
5. A temporal rift has opened up while you were in the bathroom and sucked you into the distant, distant past. Where do you pray to God that you don't end up?:
January 2000, just in time to see Bush inagurated again and the world sign over their asses.
6. Ninjas vs. Pirates:
Uhh...yarg bitches, yarg.
7. Its your wedding day. However, the night before ants crawled into your head and drove you insane. What song is stuck in your head?
"Can't get you outta my head...."
8. You're driving around and you see an Asian dude on a Kawasaki Ninja motorcycle with a sword strapped to his back. The first thought that comes to your mind is:
Oh shit, where the hell is Beatrix?
9. The Battle: A Pit Bull vs. A Pit Bull's body weight in ill-tempered weasels. Who wins?:
Duh, the weasels, they'd swarm and conquer...many would die...but in the end...they would triumph...
10. A serious Dance-Dance Revolution accident leaves you with special powers. Unfortunately the powers aren't all that super. It seems that all you can do is:
Cause people to spontaneously break a sweat.
11. What alcohol do you drink when you absolutely want the whole world to know how much you hate everyone?:
Turpentine?
12. You have sinned grossly against God and your country. Your punishment is to be eaten alive by one of God's creatures. Luckily, you get to pick what creature that is. Which do you pick?:
Oprah Winfrey.
13. In your most humble opinion, what do you feel is the most vile and savage swearword you can spew forth unto another person:
Zebra bastard fucker.
14. You get to change the name of the state you are living in. You choose: Republican Hell.
15. Which animal would totally eat you if it could?:
As previously stated...Oprah Winfrey.
16. Sexiest number between 1 and 10:
1...because it's long and erect.
17. You are carrying your drink back from the bar when you accidentally run into this girl, spilling your drink on her. She's being a total bitch about it but, c'mon, it was totally just an accident. Her boyfriend subsequently challenges you to fisticuffs. Name two friends you'd want on your side in a fight:
Well Cramer and Ryan of course...Cramer could distract him with fits of dance, while Ryan slipped in and delivered a biological attack (Oh you know what I mean) all while I shank him with a rolled up newspaper....Iyiyiyiyiyiyiyi!
18. If you could, what historical figure would you totally like to peg in the junk with a brick? Don't say Hitler, you uncreative fuck: Winston Churchill.
19. What would it cost to make you willingly and knowingly contract pubic lice?:
1000 dollars american
20. Think of the grossest name a strip club could possibly have:
The Geriatric Tango: 60 Years and Still Purky.
Well, I'll take the former. As for the latter, I'm not really down with making out with an ashtray.
2. What would be worse for the world: One giant (approx. 30 feet tall), cybernetic Hitler, or if all food screamed when you ate it?: well...technically I'd get used to the food screaming thing...so I'll say no to the large mustached man.
3. Zombies become a very harsh reality. Sensing the ethical code society has instilled in you slipping away, you decide to start killing everything that moves with what weapon?:
A mini-gun. Yes.
4. When charging into battle, your war cry is?: Iyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi!!!! (Xena warcry, duh.)
5. A temporal rift has opened up while you were in the bathroom and sucked you into the distant, distant past. Where do you pray to God that you don't end up?:
January 2000, just in time to see Bush inagurated again and the world sign over their asses.
6. Ninjas vs. Pirates:
Uhh...yarg bitches, yarg.
7. Its your wedding day. However, the night before ants crawled into your head and drove you insane. What song is stuck in your head?
"Can't get you outta my head...."
8. You're driving around and you see an Asian dude on a Kawasaki Ninja motorcycle with a sword strapped to his back. The first thought that comes to your mind is:
Oh shit, where the hell is Beatrix?
9. The Battle: A Pit Bull vs. A Pit Bull's body weight in ill-tempered weasels. Who wins?:
Duh, the weasels, they'd swarm and conquer...many would die...but in the end...they would triumph...
10. A serious Dance-Dance Revolution accident leaves you with special powers. Unfortunately the powers aren't all that super. It seems that all you can do is:
Cause people to spontaneously break a sweat.
11. What alcohol do you drink when you absolutely want the whole world to know how much you hate everyone?:
Turpentine?
12. You have sinned grossly against God and your country. Your punishment is to be eaten alive by one of God's creatures. Luckily, you get to pick what creature that is. Which do you pick?:
Oprah Winfrey.
13. In your most humble opinion, what do you feel is the most vile and savage swearword you can spew forth unto another person:
Zebra bastard fucker.
14. You get to change the name of the state you are living in. You choose: Republican Hell.
15. Which animal would totally eat you if it could?:
As previously stated...Oprah Winfrey.
16. Sexiest number between 1 and 10:
1...because it's long and erect.
17. You are carrying your drink back from the bar when you accidentally run into this girl, spilling your drink on her. She's being a total bitch about it but, c'mon, it was totally just an accident. Her boyfriend subsequently challenges you to fisticuffs. Name two friends you'd want on your side in a fight:
Well Cramer and Ryan of course...Cramer could distract him with fits of dance, while Ryan slipped in and delivered a biological attack (Oh you know what I mean) all while I shank him with a rolled up newspaper....Iyiyiyiyiyiyiyi!
18. If you could, what historical figure would you totally like to peg in the junk with a brick? Don't say Hitler, you uncreative fuck: Winston Churchill.
19. What would it cost to make you willingly and knowingly contract pubic lice?:
1000 dollars american
20. Think of the grossest name a strip club could possibly have:
The Geriatric Tango: 60 Years and Still Purky.