(no subject)
Title: The Joke's On You
Author: mediasavant
Fandom: Torchwood/Batman Crossover
Pairing: Jack/Harley
Rathing: PG
Summary: Mistah J can get anything out of Harley he needs.
Disclaimer: Not mine, and they've never met. Let's don't be silly.
Author's Notes: You should be sad I didn't read this outloud to you like I did for gleam
The Joke's On You
“Yeah, but I don't get why she came all the way to Cardiff. She's a lunatic, but she's stayed in Gotham all this time,” Owen said, watching the cctv monitor as Jack entered the cell. “Not like she came through the rift. She's just a...”
“Tourist?” supplied Tosh.
“Arsonist,” Owen shot back.
*** ~ *** ~ ***
Opening the door of the girl in red and black, Jack put on his broadest smile. He'd read the report from Arkham...this might be the lead they needed. He stepped in, hands behind his back, and didn't say a word.
Harley looked up, her bells sagging sadly until she caught that flash of a big ol' toothy smile and she sprang up, bounding into his arms. “Mistah J!” she shrieked, arms around his neck and kisses landing in rapid succession, “You came for me! I knew those coppahs couldn't keep me long.”
“Haaarley,” he purred, shoving her off him and grinning as she landed solidly on the floor. “Do tell me, my little punchline, what in the HELL WERE YOU THINKING?” he yelled.
Harley cowered before him before looking at him curiously. “Mistah J? That's the worst disguise evah. Ain't no one gonna believe that hair's real at all,” she said. “An' that make up is a joke!”
“Shut your sass hole, Harlikins,” Jack said, looming over her. “Why a fire here? That wasn't funny! There's not even an audience in Cardiff!” he exclaimed, spreading his arms wide.
“Gosh, Mistah J, you lose your sense'ah humor?”
“Orrr,” he said dangerously, leaning forward to peer at her with blue eyes narrowed, “are you trying to go solo?” he accused.
“Don't be dumb, puddin',” she smiled, standing up and brushing off her backside. “Cah-diff ain't special. I been torchin' places all over England tryin' ta find that Harkness guy you wanted. You know, sugarpop,” she said sweetly as she sashayed closer, “I was gonna wrap him up with a big ol' bow.”
“Oh him,” Jack grinned. “I already got him.”
“Well, fooey,” Harley pouted. “Then how else we gonna take out Bats?”
“Trust me, sweetcheeks, I got it covered,” he said, backing out of the cell.
***~***~***
“Whatcha watchin'?”Gwen asked, coffees in hand and Ianto following behind. Owen and Tosh simply shook their heads. It wasn't right, watching Jack like that, talking to her so easily, grinning so...wide.
And that laughing...that wasn't normal at all.