the world is just too serious to face.
I'm not going to my classes today.
It just took me 20 minutes to smoke my rollie.
I'm in awful shape, but I'm excited for today. I'm getting all my homework done, to turn into my teachers, but I just can't go to classes today. fuck, I'm a mess.
I'm doing art today. I even packed my watercolors in my battle bag.
I'm hoping not to run into my "friends" today. ug, that's impossible. I need to stop talking.
yesterday I was upset and order fourty dollars worth of piercing/body jewelry supplies.
I don't think my ears can take much more stretching. crap. I should repierce them up higher so I have more of my earlobe to work with, boys have it easy.
I think I'm about over Jake. kind of shitty huh. I've been having nightmares everytime I go to sleep.
what happens when he comes back to utah? I'm totaly in love with him, but if I start dating him again, he's just gonna leave. and if I get in a for reals relationship with him, he's just going to die soon.
he looks so old, train riding kills people.
i don't know what to do.
Halloween is in a week. It's going to be super lame. I dont even have any plans yet.
I want to go to Christy's party on the first though. everyone is just going to be drunk. and I'll never be able to leave. Maybe I'll have Halee take me, if she's down. god damnnit.
why don't any of my friendships feel real?
why can't i feel anything other than awful.