tehehehe!
Dear Edward Cullen,
Avada Kedavra! Sincerely, Tom Riddle.
Dear Walmart,
Please keep holding all of the incest children, druggies, rednecks, and fat people within your walls. I'll be over at Target. Thanks! Sincerely, Civilized people.
Dear Aunt Em,
Hate you. Hate Kansas. Taking the dog. Sincerely, Dorothy.
Dear Mom, Mom's sisters, Mom's friends, friends' Moms, and all other old relatives whose facebook friendship we've been forced to accept,
Please stop stalking me on facebook, making cheesey public comments, scrutinizing us for things you see and don't like, and clogging my newsfeed with your Farmville updates. We love you dearly, but this shit has got to stop. Sincerely, Sisters Against Cross-Generational Facebooking.
Dear Christianity,
Please add just one more rule: Every time someone with a cross tattoo has pre-marital sex, they get struck by lightning. Every weekend at my college would be the storm of the century. Sincerely, Storm-lover, Hypocrisy-hater.
(please don't kill baby-daddy though..)