(no subject)
havent been in a good mood today...i act like it and pretend like i am and i fool everyone but i can never fool myself..i come home from school and just hate everything and everybody...i cant talk to people the way i used to...i cant even talk to kara the same anymore...we talked on saturday night about some personal stuff that i was going through but i was so uncomfortable...i didnt even tell her everything and i wish i didnt tell her anything cause now i feel like shes disapointed in me and hates me for what ive been doing...i hate myself so much and i just wish that this feeling would go away...its been soo long..its been almost two years since ive been ok...i really just want to leave...i want to go far away from from everything that i know...i dont even want to spend time with my family..and im dreading christmas...i really hope my mom doesnt make me go to any family party's...i think i will just cry if she tries to make me so i wont have to go...k well i think im done venting now...this shit sucks...:(