Surfacing
I know it has been a long time since I have posted on here but there are reasons for which I decided to stay away for a while.
1. I needed space from the whole thing.
2. I needed private time to re-gather my thoughts
3. I needed to do some real writing, with pen and paper.
My penmanship has since gone to shit and I no longer write with the big and bubbly handwriting that plagued my youth. C'est la vie.
I feel this great disconnection from the people I used to spend time with, yet I feel no loss. I have contemplated this for a while and have only one conclusion: they seem to be going nowhere and speak of the exact same subjects repetitively...it bores me. I have not called anyone because they never called me to begin with. I am not going to be the one keeping friendships together. If you are not going to try, I let go. This seemed to work fairly well, given my complete inmersement in school this last semester. I was completely stressed out, but still managed a 3.5. I am proud of myself for the first time in a long while. I learned to stop beating myself up over the things I can not control and just let things be. I knew I would not pull off all A's due to my 50 hours of work, and I was OK with that. It is almost shocking. I am excited about the summer months ahead because:
1. I have started a new relationship that surprisingly enough is working well, something I sure as hell did not expect
2. I am going to completely dedicate myself to school from now on
3. I am quitting my job
4. I am starting at TCU
Now, I was not a fan of TCU, but after thinking about many things, it fulfills what I want; more specialized education. Another revelation, people seem to be happy there, they actually smile back at you. This is something I did not see at UTA. So I am much excited about that. Hopefully TCU will open the doors to other things, like friendships. I like the ones I do have, but I would like some that are in the same state in which I reside. I will have time to go visit those out-of-state friends now, though. Minnesota, Boston, NYC, DC, and Seattle watch out! hehehe
In a few weeks I shall be moving from the lofts. This is saddening because I truly love that building. I definitely enjoyed my time there and hope to live in a similarly exciting place later on. Maybe I'll purchase one of the lofts when they go up for sale in 2 years.
It is nice to no longer think I was better off when I was still shitting in my pants as a baby. hahahahaha
***edit***
Going to the NBA Playoffs tonight. Got Floor seats!!! Basketball = Happy JC, since the Hockey players have decided to be fuckwads
1. I needed space from the whole thing.
2. I needed private time to re-gather my thoughts
3. I needed to do some real writing, with pen and paper.
My penmanship has since gone to shit and I no longer write with the big and bubbly handwriting that plagued my youth. C'est la vie.
I feel this great disconnection from the people I used to spend time with, yet I feel no loss. I have contemplated this for a while and have only one conclusion: they seem to be going nowhere and speak of the exact same subjects repetitively...it bores me. I have not called anyone because they never called me to begin with. I am not going to be the one keeping friendships together. If you are not going to try, I let go. This seemed to work fairly well, given my complete inmersement in school this last semester. I was completely stressed out, but still managed a 3.5. I am proud of myself for the first time in a long while. I learned to stop beating myself up over the things I can not control and just let things be. I knew I would not pull off all A's due to my 50 hours of work, and I was OK with that. It is almost shocking. I am excited about the summer months ahead because:
1. I have started a new relationship that surprisingly enough is working well, something I sure as hell did not expect
2. I am going to completely dedicate myself to school from now on
3. I am quitting my job
4. I am starting at TCU
Now, I was not a fan of TCU, but after thinking about many things, it fulfills what I want; more specialized education. Another revelation, people seem to be happy there, they actually smile back at you. This is something I did not see at UTA. So I am much excited about that. Hopefully TCU will open the doors to other things, like friendships. I like the ones I do have, but I would like some that are in the same state in which I reside. I will have time to go visit those out-of-state friends now, though. Minnesota, Boston, NYC, DC, and Seattle watch out! hehehe
In a few weeks I shall be moving from the lofts. This is saddening because I truly love that building. I definitely enjoyed my time there and hope to live in a similarly exciting place later on. Maybe I'll purchase one of the lofts when they go up for sale in 2 years.
It is nice to no longer think I was better off when I was still shitting in my pants as a baby. hahahahaha
***edit***
Going to the NBA Playoffs tonight. Got Floor seats!!! Basketball = Happy JC, since the Hockey players have decided to be fuckwads